The mornings activities had left her clothes sodden with sweat, so Ailene changed before eating her noon meal, donning clothes in shades of gray; dark gray stays, light gray dress. After eating, she headed down to the storeroom. One of her duties as head of household was to check the level of supplies in the storeroom, see in what areas they were running low so they could remedy the situation on the next market day. As that was in a two days, it was time to check those supplies. She went down to the cellars, glancing briefly at the strapping room. Was it just yesterday that happened? Now, she'd gone from nae knowing that it even existed in the Keep to nervous apprehension every time she walked by it.
She turned toward the other end of the cellar and the supply room. She noted a light coming under the door of the storeroom. Had Muiríol sent someone down for kitchen supplies? She opened the door and found Thorburn standing within. He had already taken off his coat and was removing his shirt.
"Come in and bar the door," Thorburn said. "I knew that you had to check supplies today. I should nae make assumptions, but you did spend a substantial amount of time in the armory today. Does that mean you are accepting this situation?"
"I dinna know yet. I'm torn. I love my husband. He is the one I wanted to spend my life with. When I married him, I was unaware that you and Frang were included. You were nae in his life. I dinna know if you were ever going to show up, or that you were all so close you had to share everything, even one another's wives. If I had known, I would nae have married him."
"I know this is hard."
"Do you? Know how hard it is? How would you know? Have you shared your wife with two other men? Have you been shared with two other men?
"Nae with two other men, but with 2 lasses, aye."
"How is that the same? Last time I looked, lasses are nae poking their big bloody cocks in several parts of your body at the same time, are they? And even if you're with 2 lasses, only one of them gets to feel that big manly prick of yours at once, dinna they?"
"You are right. It's nae the same. I should nae have suggested it was," Thorburn replied.
"You've removed most of your clothes - you were expecting something?" Ailene asked.
"I was hoping," Thorburn responded. He had the grace to look down at the ground as he said it.
"The thing of it is; I really do love my husband," Ailene said. "He's the sun and moon to me, everything I'd ever imagined in a man. Everything I'd ever dreamed of when a wee girl. I dinna love you and Frang; at least nae in that way. I feel like if I agree with this, I'd be tolerating it; nae looking forward to it, nae enjoying it, but how is that to live a life? If I'd married some doddering old man, I'd have tolerated him, at least to start. Hopefully, I might have developed some fondness for the man, but nae love, toleration. That's nae to say that you and Frang are nae very good lovers; you've proven that to my satisfaction. It's disheartening to me how good you make me feel, physically. It made me feel like a whore, I enjoyed it so much. I thought myself a better person."
Thorburn went to her and held her loosely in his arms, offering comfort, but nae expectations she must give more.
"You're nae a whore, Lady Cameron. I'm sorry we made you feel like one. You are, in every sense of the word, a lady. I admire you." She shook her head and tried to push away. "Nae, I do." Pulling her close. "You've nae real experience in running a household, yet you do a marvelous job. You'd nae been married before, but you're a wonderful wife. Stuart would pine away without you, he loves you that dearly. You've nigh been put in a position anything like this, and yet you've managed, with a certain amount of doubt and misgivings, to accept what's happened with a modicum of decorum and grace. It's nae an easy thing, what we've asked, what we've expected. Nae one would have an easy time accepting it. I expect most would have run screaming from the Keep. Nae you."
"What I fear most, Thorburn; what I canna abide, is the thought of Stuart nae loving me anymore. I have nae experience in worldly matters. He is my first and only love. How does one judge these things? If I saw Stuart with another woman, it would kill me; I know it would. That is what I know, that is what I think, what I feel. If I do this, this thing, this sharing, whatever you call it; is he nae going to have or develop the same feelings as I would? Will he nae picture me in the throes of passion with another and begin to despise me as I would despise him? Then I would hate myself."
She sat down on a chair and sighed. "That is my quandary then. He wants me to do this. If I say nae, he may lose his love for me because I canna honor his gift to his brothers; if I say aye, he might develop the feelings I would have if I were sharing him and lose his love. That's the risk I face. I sense nae good answer. I can lose either way."
Thorburn knelt down and held her face in his large hands, looking her in the eye. "If it be of benefit to my lady, I would wager that there is very little you could do in this world that Stuart would nae forgive, and love you anyway. He holds you above all other things, any possessions, his life, his honor. For my part, if I were married, I believe that I would gladly share my wife with my brothers and it would nae bother me, but that's me, nae Stuart. He says that he's good with it, and I have to trust him, as I trust him in all other things. And I would have to trust him to tell me when he's nae good with it anymore. But tis nae my decision, I canna answer this dilemma for you."
"Oh wonderful. Something else for me to worry about. Whether I shall have to share him with your wife as well, and Frang's. What have I gotten myself into?"
Thorburn smiled, stood up and began putting his shirt back on. He laced it up and put on the jacket, starting in on the buttons. Ailene thought, that's what it all boils down to, dinna it. Trust. Trust my husband, trust his love is true and nae misplaced. Trust his brothers, trust that they will be discreet and nae bring shame to her or Stuart. Trust myself. Trust that I will nae feel like a whore and that I can handle whatever happens and make it work.
Ailene said, "What exactly were you hoping for? Do I kneel, bend over a sack of potatoes? What?
Thorburn paused on his last button.
"Well, unless I'm mistaken, that's your second dress of the day. I suppose you should leave here with the dress in as good of shape as ye entered. I would suggest taking it off."
"You want me naked?"
"Aye. You're a lovely lass and a man needs a little beauty in his life," Thorburn responded.
He waited to see what she would do, nae wishing to push her one way or the other until she was ready. When she began unfastening her dress, he rushed to unbutton his coat, then tore at the laces of his shirt, tearing it off over his head. He stepped up to Ailene and helped her loosen the laces of her stays, pushed her dress down over her hips and helped her step out of them. She raised her arms and he lifted her shift over her hips, her breasts, her head.
She was self conscious of her nudity. She'd been naked last evening for her strapping, but she'd had no control over that. Stuart had her naked and tied before they entered the room. This seemed worse, somehow, as she'd participated in her undressing before him. He helped her with her shoes and stockings. When she tried to cover herself, he pulled her hands out, holding them outstretched, his eyes hungry.
"Nae lass, I want to look. I envy Stuart. To look at this each evening in the firelight could make a man die happy."
"Then apparently, you're going to die happy, because thus far, you've seen me in this state as much as Stuart this week," Ailene said.
"Well, aye," Thorburn laughed, "but nae in the firelight."
"I guess you're going to have to be satisfied with candlelight. What are we doing anyway?"
"I laid my cloak in that corner there," Thorburn said. "Give me a minute to remove my kilt and I'll lie on the bottom. I'm used to sleeping on the ground."
