[Aidan's marriage has been shattered by his wife's cheating. Unable to cope with the thing Rosa did, he boarded a plane and put as much distance between them as possible. From Australia, making new friends in Sydney, to meeting Kat and sharing her bed, he finds himself in Los Angeles as the personal trainer and lover to Mara Fey, Hollywood A-Lister and one of the most famous women on the planet. As he becomes more deeply entangled in Mara's life, Rosa becomes more distant, leaving Aidan more lonely than ever.
In the final chapter, Aidan sees his horizon at last. It's time to move on.
The background to Aidan's story can be found in
Oxygen Games
by oneagainst, continued here with permission.]
---
THE WAR AGAINST LOVE
Aiden stirs groggily from his sleep with a foul taste in his mouth. It's early, the first light of dawn glinting off the skyscrapers through the wide floor-to-ceiling windows of the suite because he'd forgotten to close the curtains. Next to him, sprawled out in bed on her front, a woman slumbers. Aidan rubs his eyes slowly. Mara is lying on her front next to him in his bed, naked, the white sheets draped over her legs and the rounded curve of her bottom, her blonde hair in disarray around her beautiful, sleeping face.
Gently, Aidan slips out of bed. He's naked too, standing there watching her breathe, his back to the Tokyo skyline. He remembers how she had felt, how hard she had climaxed as he buried himself inside her with his hand covering her face, cutting off her air. He remembers how, in her moment of drug-fuelled ecstasy, she had called him Daddy. Aidan leaves her asleep and pads into the bathroom to take a shower.
Aidan stands under the steaming water for a long time, playing it all back in his head. The more he thinks about it, the more certain he becomes, and it's actually a relief. He's made his decision: it's the right choice. He needs to have a conversation now, and it's going to be hard.
When he's done, he comes back into the bedroom with a towel wrapped tightly around his waist. Being as quiet as he can, he unwraps himself and searches through his carryall bag for underwear. There is a sound behind him on the bed, and he turns.
"Morning."
Mara is lying on her side, watching him. She's topless, but makes no move to cover herself up.
"Morning," Aidan responds.
Mara smiles. "What a lovely sight to wake up to."
Aidan steps into his underwear, pulling his trunks up his muscled legs. Mara pouts.
"I was enjoying that."
Aidan doesn't answer her. Instead, he gathers up a t-shirt and a pair of jeans.
"How're you feeling after last night?" Mara asks.
"Uh, a little foggy."
"Did you have a good time?"
"What?"
Mara sits up, smiling at him, folding her arms under her breasts.
"You got to party with two women last night. Not bad, huh?"
"A lot of things happened last night."
"But you enjoyed yourself."
It's more of a statement than a question. Aidan pulls his jeans on.
"How was she?" Mara asks, "Indi?"
There's something in the way she keeps probing that's making Aidan bristle. The more she talks, the more he recalls of the previous night. The mention of Indi sets him on edge. He remembers Indi's admission while in his arms that she's part of the furniture, that she belongs to Andrew like she's a piece of property rather than a person. He can still recall the look on her face when she asked to stay with Aidan and not to go back to Andrew's bed.
"You were out of control last night," Aidan replies, changing subject.
Mara's smile flickers.
"When you came in," Aidan continues, "You were wild. The things you said."
He pulls his t-shirt on, standing with his hands on his hips looking at her.
"It's still early, Aidan. You got somewhere to be?"
Aidan purses his lips. Her eyes are on him, he can see her uncertainty. Mara pats the bed. Hesitantly, Aidan goes over to her and sits down.
"You're getting to know my history," Mara says, "My secrets. I'm sorry if I freaked you out."
"What was all that?" Aidan asks, "Last night, what you said to me?"
"Like you said, I got a little wild."
Aidan shakes his head. "No, Mara, that's the thing I just don't get. Last night, in the club, then back here after. I dunno, it's, uh, it's like you just switch."
"I'm still me. You make it sound like I'm messed up."
Aidan grimaces.
"What?" Mara asks, "What is it?"
"Last night. Was that you? I mean, the real you?" Aidan replies, his voice muted, "Or what about when we were sitting on the front of the car out in the middle of nowhere, in the Outback. Was that you instead?"
"Which one do you like?"
Aidan sighs. "Fuck, Mara, it's not about which one I like. It's about... which one are you? Really?"
Mara's face creases and she gathers up the sheets, wrapping them around her body, hugging herself.
"It's early, Aidan. Do we really need to get into this? Can't we just have a relaxed morning together, just the two of us?"
She watches him for a long time, her gorgeous blue eyes regarding him steadily. Finally, she speaks.
"You wanna know about the real me, Aidan? You sure?"
"Yeah."
"Okay."
Mara straightens up in the sheets, raising her chin to meet his gaze.
"You know when I said you didn't need to use a condom if you didn't want to?" she begins, quieter now, "Remember that?"
"Yes."
"It's because I can't get pregnant. I had an abortion when I was eighteen, but it got messed up. We didn't go to a clinic."
Mara is speaking softly. Her eyes never leave his.
"We?"
"Yeah, that's the fucked-up part. Me and my stepdad. Turns out there's a downside to being so pretty and innocent."
Mara shrugs like it's nothing.
"So, yeah, the one time, the condom broke. Or he didn't use one," Mara says, "I forget. Anyway, he drove me halfway across the state to get rid of it, but the piece of shit wanted to keep it all below radar so we didn't go someplace official. The guy was operating out of his house, and he fucked the procedure up. I got so sick, but he still didn't say anything to Mom, so neither did I."
She pauses, looking down at her hands tangled up in the sheets.
"But at the end, I was fixed, alright. I was fixed for good."
He can see the hurt in her face, and it stirs an anguish in him as well. He thinks of Rosa, of the one last golden marble, the final embryo in deep freeze half a planet away. He understands the space inside her, the emptiness, and once again he realises how powerless he is to help in any way.
"I'm so sorry," he murmurs.
"Me too. Worked out okay for him though. He didn't need to use condoms anymore."
Aidan's phone buzzes, but he ignores it. Mara shifts in the bed, looking from Aidan to the unzipped carryall in the wardrobe.
"We're not due out until tonight," she observes, "You packing already?"
Aidan hangs his head. He has made his decision, and now he has to live with it. But, arriving at the moment of committing to it, he feels like a traitor. Mara is waiting patiently for an answer, but he doesn't give her one, letting the silence lengthen between them.
As he watches, her expression gradually crumples.
"You're not coming with me, are you?" she asks.
The tone of her voice wrenches his guts. He feels like he's betraying her. Slowly he shakes his head. She's staring at him now, eyes wide and bright. After everything they've done, after everything she's said to him, here at last was the real Mara, the woman finally stripped of her chameleon cloak and all her masks. He watches her collapsing in slow motion, the mountain crumbling into the sea.
"Why?" she whispers, her voice choked.
"I need to go home."
"I see."
"It's nothing to do with you. I have things I need to fix."
