©Nora Quick 2014
Chapter Twenty
One might think that knowing I had to die would leave me desperate to live. I suppose anyone else would have eaten everything they could, fucked their wolves repeatedly, enjoyed all magic, but I couldn't. Contemplating the end to all I k new, the end of myself, I retreated into human need.
I held each man in turn, they held me, and I refused to speak or share my thoughts. They would only try to talk me out of any course out of love, but I couldn't change the world for them. There were over a thousand witches depending on me, an equal number of sorcerers, and god knows how many dragons and wolves. And if magic was out of balance it was surely affecting the human world. So with the weight of the world on my back I cuddled, couldn't sleep, and only used magic in the wee hours of dawn to refresh myself. My lovers had drifted off.
I slipped from the bed and Andre rose, but Liv peeked in and assured him she would watch me. She ordered room service and followed me and Diego downstairs to take the dog out.
The sun was rising over the mountains and it was a beautiful sight. I froze as Diego did his business. This was why I was likely a deist, but never a theist. The alps were things of terrifying beauty and the sun made them momentarily majestic. I knew in that moment what it was that called men's souls and made them climb. I suddenly understood that the world was beyond us, and a greater purpose lay where we could find it. If there was any meaning in this life, surely it was that search.
"Liv?"
"Yes, Anna?"
"How do you and Jerry do it?"
"Do it?" She was shivering so I called up a warmth bubble. "Thank you."
"You love each other but you had to...service others. You've even expected, I dunno, maybe invited, me to share it. How can you do that?"
"You know most wolves, not all, are the child of both witch and wolf, yes?"
"You know, I never asked. You said not all?"
"Not all. Sometimes a witch for whatever reason does not want a child with his of her wolves, so he or she seeks another such pack to create children. I am the product of such, pure wolf, raised with wolves alone."
"Hunh." I wanted to ask more, but I wanted my question answered, so I bit my tongue.
"We should get back, the food will arrive soon."
"Talk while we walk, please." I used magic to clean Diego's mess, and into the hotel's trash bins it went. He yipped at the magic happily and ran to us for petting from both, and then we slipped inside.
"As a child nothing is hidden from us. We know that when we grow older we will become wolves and the joy of it is revealed to us. We are also protected from some of the more sordid aspects of our parent's slavery, usually our mother's as we are typically raised by our mothers in cases like mine.
"Still, we know they are at the beck and call of all witches. To prepare us for sexual slavery sex is discussed openly and frankly, but appropriate for each age. I was taught from a young age to find joy in the act, hold it sacred even if my partners did not.
"As such, I was taught that sex and love are two different things. One can bring the other, but not always. Still, I admit I had given up on love until I began to work with Jericho. They were remodeling the theater and we both worked on the demolition crew. We talked, we shared our dreams, our hopes, our fears.
"It wasn't instant and it wasn't easy, but it was love. Still, we could not make love until we were bidden. We volunteered for wolf chess in the hope we could...and we did. So it became a special place for it.
"When I have sex with anyone else it is fun, as much as it can be. It's like dancing with someone aside from your love, or sharing a meal. I just treat sex as something simple and basic, a function of the body that may or may not be of the heart."
We reached our suite as the waiter came out of the elevator, so we held the door as he wheeled in the groaning cart of food. I signed the bill and then Liv insisted I sit and she would make plates.
Everything she told me was the same logic swingers used. Once, in what felt like a lifetime ago, I had been a swinger. It didn't work, somebody always fell in love with someone new, and out of love with someone old. But I supposed it was different with wolves. Near immortality and slavery made the free will to choose who you loved non-existent.
And as one of the monarchs of magic I had more free will than anyone, but arguably as much freedom as any wolf.
"Why do you ask?" She handed me a plate of scrambled eggs with cheese, hash browns, bacon, and a frosted Danish. Pretty simple fare compared to what I was used to. "I ordered American, or what Americans tend to get on Thunder Island," she said at my surprised look.
"Thanks. I'm not sure, just wondering." I wanted my best friend, Diane. I didn't want to bring her into this world, but if anyone could tell me what to do about Malachai, it would be Di. And it had only been a short time since I had seen her, but so much had changed it felt like an ocean of time.
She slid a plate to Diego, what looked like a skillet with sausage. I wondered what the hotel staff thought of all this food, I knew Europeans tended to go light on breakfast. No wonder we had bought out the hotel.
It suddenly occurred to me I was retreating from the human world. I didn't want to. It was what I had known for thirty one years, the witch world for just officially a week. And what a fucking week it had been.
I didn't want to die. Feeling like screaming I instead conjured up cigarettes and an ashtray and lit one. I slid the pack to Liv if she wanted and she too set down her food and lit up. It was funny, I thought. Smokers know the risks of cancer, heart disease, all of it. You only smoked if you didn't like yourself or you hated the world, you only smoked if a part of you wanted your ticket punched early so you could escape the tragic comedy of life. Yet still it soothed me, even knowing damn near eternal life could be mine. I just had to sell my soul and murder thousands.
"Liv, I need some privacy. I need to call a human friend, talk about some things. I'm going to cast a spell since you wolves have that extraordinary hearing. I mean no offense."
"Cast it now."
I did, a bubble between us, and she turned to face me fully. "Anna, I have seen the way Malachai looks at you."
I damn near dropped my cigarette at that.
"I don't know much of sorcerers, but he being their king he is discussed often on the island. He is the king of the dark, magic given to the sexual over the sensual, or so they say. He loves his dragons, it is plain to see, but he is a man bred for temptation. It is often said that sorcerers live to seduce married humans."
"I get the feeling many witches do too."
"Not for the same reasons. Witches can be too foolish in matters of the heart. Malachai lives to muddy the pure."
I sighed, catching her drift. "So what you're saying is to Malachai I am forbidden fruit, and the fact that I love my men and am determined to remain faithful is the sole reason he...desires me."
She nodded. "And I do not blame you for being tempted. When I met Jericho I was young for a wolf, merely one hundred. He was thousands of years older. Experience in a man is tempting to us all. I doubt I could have withstood him if I really tried."
"So what exactly are you saying?"
