Out of a dead sleep I awoke with one desire and one desire only: to satisfy my tight throbbing asshole. There are some mornings where my horniness knows no bounds, and this was one of those mornings. With one mission in mind l hectically searched my apartment for any object that would satisfy my need for a good ass fucking. I checked for the typical cucumber in the fridge, for a thick sharpie marker, or any phallic looking object, but none could be found. Running out of options and in desperate need of satisfying my delicious hole, I opened a kitchen drawer and that's when I saw it: a wooden rolling pin. The rolling pin itself was way too thick to ever penetrate my tight luscious hole, but the handles were the perfect size to give me what I needed.
I had never before fucked myself with a kitchen utensil so this was a new and exciting experience. As I began to lube up the handles, an old memory of my father and I using it to roll out pizza dough came to mind, but my asshole wasn't about to let family memories get in the way of it being filled. After asking for my father's forgiveness, it was time to fuck my hole. With the rolling pin lubed up, my boxers off, and my throbbing asshole up in the air, I began to slowly push one of the pin handles into me. At first it was a strange sensation, I had never felt a wooden object inside me before, but I had to admit I liked it. It felt smooth, cold, and rejuvenating, as if a Hogwarts student was breathing life into my asshole with their wand. For the very first time I truly felt alive.
After my asshole was satisfied I laid in bed exhausted and bewildered at how such a simple object could show me such unadulterated bliss. The rolling pin didn't just penetrate my body, it penetrated my mind, my soul, my being. My body had never before convulsed so violently with pleasure, and I couldn't wait to experience it again. The rolling pin had released something in me and I needed more of it; I needed more wood. This revelation left me with the need to seek out a rolling pin thats craftsmanship would rival that of Pinocchio's perfect wooden cock.