We all have a circle of friends who can talk us into doing things that deep in our hearts, we know to be extraordinarily bad ideas but at the time, seem like they make perfect sense. I was the voice of reason for ours. If I was *good* at being the voice of reason, or getting my two idiot friends to actually listen to me, I wouldn't be telling this tale.
We had spent most of our adult lives as friends. We were the same age, our kids had gone to the same schools, we more-or-less lived in the same neighborhood and socialized in the same circles. One by one, we divorced or separated from our husbands around the same time. This was also around the same time our kids left the nests.
So there we were, reinventing ourselves. Laurie got her real estate agent's license, Marie found a spot helping run a local Congressman's office and I went back into Human Affairs. The gym replaced PTA meetings, downsizing our homes took center stage and online dating substituted for making family dinners.
If it sounds boring and you want to stop reading now, I don't blame you. The best part of the dates were trying new things on the menu. Overall, the consensus was that the sex was no better than our memories of our X's.
Life had reached an impasse for all of us, and when we finally sat down together and faced facts, none of us wanted to just give up. We all made the best of how we looked to the world, we all still had our libidos and when we started sharing, it was obvious we all had some pretty wicked imaginations. Hot sex. Dirty, sweaty sex. Pounding, dangerous and breathtaking sex.
But Laurie was the one who took risks. Big risks.
She dated a few married men (and found that to be a dead-end). Then she decided she wanted to try swinging. Marie and I did our best to talk some sense into her, but she kept pushing the envelope until she found a married couple worthy of her time.
It took three glasses of chardonnay (in all of us) before she spilled those beans to Marie and I. Laurie had met a couple and they all seemed to *click* but she wanted us to back her up for their first meeting. At first, I wanted nothing to do with this mess but Marie's curiosity was clearly radiating from the moment Laurie asked for our help.
All we had to do was 'be there' in case things got weird. If it got weird, we'd be the ones to make the rescue phone call that allowed her to leave gracefully. Since it was obviously going to happen and I didn't want Marie to go alone, I caved.
Fast forward a few, to a crisp fall day right before lunch. The sky was bright blue and all was right with the world. Marie and I arrived super early and took a corner table in a coffee shop where we could see everyone and everything (including the bathrooms and back door) inside, as well as anyone parked outside. About ten minutes before the 'date', the couple showed up.
I saw them first, getting out of a newish, white four-door BMW parked about three or four spots down the street.
They were about our age, professionals. They were both tall and took care of themselves. Their suits hung like they'd taken a break from a catalog shoot. I will admit to being somewhat relieved at the normalcy I saw, but when I glanced at Marie she was completely focused. Unhealthy, almost.
I dubbed them then and there as Mister and Missus Beamer. He had thick, distinguished grey hair and I mentally bet myself was a lawyer of some type (turns out he was). Her close-cropped copper 'do was from the bottle, but it was striking without being tacky. I couldn't ignore her rings. They certainly looked like a wealthy suburban couple just meeting for lunch, maybe finalizing schedules to whatever charity events they had to attended.
I was going to whisper something equally catty in Marie's ear, but she was still focused on Mister. A lightbulb went on. "You just got a crush!"
Marie flushed, knowing she'd been busted. "Shh!"
"Why? They can't hear us, no one's paying attention to us. Wow, so that's what turns you on?" I wanted to have fun with this.
"Hey, tell me he's not hot." She squirmed in her seat, wry smile spreading.
"He's a package deal. You want him, you have to take her. I didn't know that interested you."
My friend was silent for a moment. "Haven't you ever wondered?"
I looked at Mrs Beamer again. "Sure. With the right woman, why not?
*
We watched the conversation warm, we saw the couple discretely slide papers across the table (Laurie had insisted on notarized STD test results right up front) and she returned the gesture. If you knew what to look for, there were dozens of other signs that everyone at that table was flirting. They certainly approved of Laurie -- a 5'7"-ish skinny brunette with close-cropped curly hair hinting of grey, green eyes and a penchant for dressing in a way that made men smile even if she didn't have curves.
The deal was this 'date' was supposed to last only 30 minutes, then Laurie was going to excuse herself however it was going. I got antsy around 45 minutes, since there was only so much mundane bullshit Marie and I could rehash.
I suggested we get the ball rolling and text Laurie something that'd let her escape. Marie wanted to keep watching and after five minutes of pointless bickering, I sent a simple "?"
We watched our friend dig out her phone, say something to her new friends and answer. "You two go on, I'm ok. Really. Will call when I'm done".
My inner voice screamed 'no! bad idea!' and Marie's infatuation made her useless, but the day was running on. After an hour, we got up and slipped past them. I made eye contact with Laurie briefly, and the trite phrase 'twinkling eyes' was an understatement.
*
It was somewhere around dinner time when I got another text from Laurie. "Hate to be a drama queen, but can you two come over tonight? I need to talk".
