Ween Contest

Greetings to everyone! Yes, this is my entry into the Halloween contest. It's sort of a Satire/Celebrity/Erotic Horror piece with some gay sex, group sex, oral, and even some implied fisting. Yes, something for almost everyone in the Literotica family! Oh yeah, there's some Fetish too. I hope everyone loves it and I get to sell the film rights!

*

"Oh look!" Roz said as she checked her email. "I'm a finalist in this year's Halloween contest! I can't wait to tell the rest of the club during tonight's video chat; they'll be so happy for me. All of their extra votes really helped!"

Somewhere deep in the heart of Texas, a somewhat different reaction was taking place as Radley Texan opened his email with a snort. "Hmm, let's see, same stuff as usual: penis enhancement, Nigerian Lotto win, penis enhancement, generic Viagra, penis enhancement... ah here it is, an email from Litterotica

Dear Radley Texan:

Congratulations, you have been chosen for one of the coveted finalist spots in this year's Halloween contest! Because of the unique quality of your work, you are hereby invited to join us in Salem Massachusetts for our annual Halloween contest and awards dinner. Enclosed in this email, you will find your airline confirmation and your pre-paid, three night registration at the Burnt Witch, a four star bed and breakfast. Upon arrival, you will be given $500 spending money and your golden ticket to the party of the century!

If you choose to join us, you will remain in the running for this year's special award, donated by Anne Rice. It will be the largest prize that we've ever given: $10,000 for this year's best Halloween story! We hope that you'll choose to join us, but if not, we are sure that the other finalists will certainly thank you for improving their odds at gaining the Miss Rice prize. Congratulations once again and we hope to see you in Salem!

Law-ren, Queen of Litterotica

CC: Senor Pile-It, LovesCrap, Odd Bastard, Ms Zero, Kenny D, Roz, Ducky Buttman, JethroBJonas, Tiny Twaddle Tales, Jilling Susan, and Nathan_Brazil.

Radley looked at the list and began mumbling to himself, "Fucking Hell! Half of the members of 'we-vote-a-lot anonymous', several old perverts, and... who the Hell is Nathan Brazil? Well Fuck those guys; there's no way that I'm gonna miss this! It's not like I've already poisoned the apples for those bastard trick-or-treaters yet!"

Later that night, there was much joy during video chat. Excited screams were heard, and more than one video camera was knocked offline as the 'voting block' jumped up and down while squealing like middle-schoolers at their first Justin Beiber concert. "I can't believe that so many of us made it to the finals!" Ms Zero screamed, drunkenly.

"You know it, Zero! Everyone knows we're the best!" Tiny Twaddle Tales yelled back. This is

way

better than a $75 third place prize!"

"Weeeee are the champions, my friends," Kenny D and Ducky Buttman starting singing while attempting to surreptitiously send one another snap shots of their penises."

"Dammit you two, Roz bitched, you fucking hit 'send to all' again. I do

NOT

want to see your junk. I write Lesbian stories. How many times do I have to tell you that I don't like dick!"

"Oh hush Roz," Ms Zero chided, "We need their votes, and errr...I mean these two are just expressing their sexuality!"

"Yeah, you frigid bitch," Ducky yelled, "Check

this

out!" He then wiped a thin film of semen over his camera lens before chortling "Now, I bet my penis looks like it's in a Penthouse photo shoot!"

Yelling and debauchery ensued...

Four weeks later:

"This is a really shitty room," Senor Pile-It grumbled as he saw his room at the Burnt Witch for the first time. "How the fuck am I supposed to fit five hookers into that one little bed? Hell, I wonder if they even have Rent Boys in Salem. Shit! That would be just my luck too; five hundred bucks burning a hole in my pocket and no young studs to fondle!"

LovesCrap and Odd Bastard were somewhat happier with their shared room. Yes, LovesCrap had always been sexually ambiguous, but she/he was a confirmed incest writer and as long as it was all in the family, sex was good, and Odd Bastard was almost like family.

Odd Bastard, on the other hand, was more or less straight, but as an avowed fetish writer, his mind was open to almost any possibility. Rooming with LovesCrap didn't seem so bad; he knew that he could have been asked to share with JethroBJonas.

Jethro was

very

happy with his room. He'd already sub-let it to members of the White Nationalists Party, who were in town for a convention. He'd made a quick two hundred bucks and was now on the prowl for his true guilty pleasure, a corpulent black prostitute who would let him call her 'mommy'. He hadn't had any luck though, and was now considering blowing off the dinner and cashing in his return ticket for a ticket to Atlanta.

Somewhat later, a two-door Mini Cooper pulled into the car park and disgorged its passengers, the five members of the 'voting block', and their guest, Jilling Susan, who had her Pilot pen in her right hand, and her clitoris in her left. She hadn't been willing to let a lengthy car trip in the 'voting block' clown car go to waste. She'd written six more stories on their trip to the Hotel-- a slower than usual output for her, but hey... she'd cum four times! "It was just like that scene in that Austin Powers movie!!!" she thought excitedly!

The driver of the Mini, Ms Zero caught a whiff of the aroma in the car and thought, "Ah shit, there is no way Hertz is gonna give me back my deposit now. I'm never gonna get that smell out of the upholstery!"

No one had a clue to the whereabouts of Nathan_Brazil, he hadn't checked in yet.

Later that night...

"What do you mean that you don't do out-call," LovesCrap yelled into the phone heatedly. "This is a conspiracy; you've obviously been paid off by the 'voting block'! What kind of worthless Podunk town doesn't offer hermaphrodite out-call? Those bastards must have gotten all of their friends to one-bomb me again! Everyone knows that I need relief here, Damn it!

Odd Bastard remarked dryly, "C'mon roomie, it's okay; I can be whatever you want me to be, just ignore the wrinkles and dig in! We all know that they are cheating, but my stories never score well anyway."

"You stupid asshole," LovesCrap continued to rage, as he yanked the phone from the table and threw it through the window, and down into the car park below.

"Now stop that," Odd Bastard said soothingly, "Look, I have titties now," he said, pointing to his toilet paper stuffed bra.

"But I was winning," LovesCrap whined as she came forward and began to fondle the Odd Bastard's 'breasts'. "They are cheating and everybody knows it!"

"There, there," the Odd one said as he patted his protégé's head lovingly. "Just play with my titties and try to calm down. That's my sweet sexually ambiguous baby. Shh..."

In the parking lot, clothed only in diaphanous scarves and body paint, the coven surrounded their Queen. One of the eleven asked her mistress, "Are you sure that we can get a thirteenth out of these guys? My Queen, they are so uncouth! They are wrecking our hotel and repairs are going to be costly!"

Law-ren smiled down at her acolyte, "Yes Manoo, we shall find our final witch from these writers. Sometimes you have to go looking for a ruby in a mountain of rocks, you know. It has been foretold, and so it shall be. I realize that they all appear to be spoiled brats, but you will see, one of them shall climb out of their muck to join us!"

Up above her, another window shattered. This time a large dildo landed among the coven. It was covered in something vaguely greenish, although no member of the coven was brave enough to investigate it closely. Manoo looked at Law-ren and wondered if this would the time when she'd finally make a mistake. These people were clearly degenerates, how could any of them be worthy of joining their coven?

Everyone outside the building could now hear one of the contestants quacking his way through an orgasm, while another one seemed to be urinating through one of the broken windows. Manoo could not believe what he was hearing.

"You will see, Manoo, you will see."

"I hope so mistress, but if it happens, I do hope that it's one of the men. I want to see her face after the sex change!"

Halloween Night...

As usual, the 'voting block' showed up as a unit, and at the last possible moment. This time they were leading a leashed and blindfolded Jilling Susan before them into the celebration hall. Glancing around, they saw that most of the other contestants had already arrived. Susan couldn't see anything through her blindfold, but as she was orgasming again, she probably didn't really care.

Senor Pile-It had set up shop in the northwest corner, surrounding himself with a few carefully placed tables to prevent anyone from getting too close to him, while LovesCrap and Odd Bastard had done something very similar in the northeast corner. Radley Texan was perched on a lonesome barstool in the southeast corner where he sat casually carving his initials into the furniture with a pocket knife. His face was set in a mighty scowl, and his cowboy hat was pulled down low as if to say, "Stay away from me; I hate you!"

In the final corner, Jethro sat in a fort of his own design. He'd made a tent out of confederate battle flags and in front of that; he had set up a table covered with John Birch Society tracts. "Jade Helm was real," he yelled as the 'voting block' entered the room. "Obummer is a comin' for your guns!"

"Oh cool," Susan gasped out, "Jethro is here; that gives me an idea for eight more stories!"

Jethro looked out from the inside of his fort with a confused look on his face. "One, two...umm three, four, five... Hey, somebody's missing."

"It's the new guy," yelled Pile-It from his corner. "He aint welcome here! What's he ever written?"

"Maybe he's posted his work somewhere else," said Kenny D obsequiously, "Surely Law-ren wouldn't have made a mistake!"

"Fuck off, sissy boy," Pile-It yelled back.

"Hey everyone, nice to meet you," said an unknown voice from the doorway.

The room became deathly quiet as everyone turned to stare at the new guy. He didn't look like much, medium height and build, dark hair and a vaguely Jewish looking nose. He said, "Umm hi, I ran into Law-ren and Manoo earlier in the parking lot and they said everyone needs to sign a release in order to be eligible to win the contest. She gave me a bunch of copies of the release and some special pins with which to sign them. She said these special pins will allow you to enter the magikal world of Litterotica!"

"I aint signin' nothin'," spat Jethro.

"That's one down," chortled, Roz.

"I doubt if he can spell his own name," mumbled Radley.

"Don't you mean 'pens'," sniffed Buttman.

"Gosh guys don't be so mean," simpered, Susan. "You guys are like those mean girls in the Carrie shower scene... oh cool, I just had another idea!"

Nathan cleared his throat and announced, "Law-ren said that if you refuse to sign, you'll still be allowed to party with us until mid-night, but you won't be allowed to go into the V.I.P. room for the contest."

"V.I.P. room?" all eleven contestants gasped at once.

"I'm going into that V.I.P. room," LovesCrap said stridently. "None of you deserve it as much as I do!" She then ran up to Nathan and snatched the papers out of his hand and then scuttled back to his corner.

"I'm way better than you," wailed MS Zero, "Give me one of those forms!"

"Get him team," yelled Roz, "Make this contest safe for the 'voting block'. Her team obeyed and immediately began moving toward LovesCrap with menace in their eyes. Their manicured nails were ready to scratch his eyes out, and their well lotioned, yet ink-stained hands were ready to slap LovesCrap's sexually ambiguous face-- really, really hard!

When LovesCrap saw them approaching, she did what almost any embittered incest writer would have done, he began squealing for her mommy. "Mommy, Help me, the nasty cheaters are trying to steal my toys!"

"There, there Trelane," soothed the Odd Bastard. "Just let mommy help; you took all of the releases, and you only need to sign one of them."

"Trelane?" replied the 'voting block' as one.

Odd Bastard looked up and said, "Sorry, old Star Trek reference, I couldn't resist! Hold up a moment and I'll go and get the rest of the releases; I think she's calming down now. See! He's sucking his thumb and waiting for Mommy."

"Okay team," ordered Roz, "let's let the expert deal with this; everyone knows that the Odd Bastard knows his fetishes!"

As usual, Roz was correct about these things and the Odd Bastard quickly had LovesCrap calm again. Soon everyone in the room had a copy of the release. Things were finally going well, but that's when disaster struck. "Oh my God! Where is my pen; I can't find my pen," Susan shrieked as she frantically searched through her clothing for her precious tool. Spilling her large jiggling breasts out of her bra, she desperately dug through her décolletage, but found nothing. Well...she found several things, but she didn't find her pen.

"Here, you'll need this," Nathan said calmly, not even trying to hide the fact that he was staring at Susan's breasts. "It's an old style quill with a sharp end; the signatures will need to be in blood."

"What?" Kenny squealed, "But I'm a bleeder!"

"Shut up, you faggot," Senor Pile-It snapped. "It's a freaking Halloween contest; just finger your prick, get a little fluid and sign the damned thing!"

"Yes," Nathan replied, "Law-ren said that semen or vaginal fluids would work too. In fact, she was quite curious about which one that she'd get from LovesCrap."

"You sure do seem to know an awful lot about what Law-Ren wants..." Tiny Twaddle said suspiciously. "Who are you anyway?"

"I'd never actually met her before today, but I came in early and helped her set up the decorations in the banquet hall. She was pretty surprised when I showed up to take a long look around; she said that all of you usually waited until the very last second to send in your contributions. She said something about everyone being afraid that you'd get 'one-bombed' if you submitted early."

"See! She admits it," squealed LovesCrap.

Chaos ensued...

Several hours later, all of the releases had finally been signed and most of the contestants were now well on their way to getting drunk on the free drinks from the open bar. Jethro had given up on getting any of the others to acknowledge that an International Negro Muslim conspiracy was at work and had retired back to his fort in disgust, but the others were more or less getting along, doing writer stuff like stealing one another's ideas and slamming one another's work.

Suddenly their conversation was drowned out by a thunderous boom, a flash of smoke, and the onset of the Queen song, 'The Fairy Feller's Master Stroke' as it began to play from every speaker in the banquet hall. Yes everyone, Law-ren had arrived!

"Roses for everyone," she called, and with a wave of her hand, long-stemmed roses fell from the sky. "Manoo and I wish to thank everyone for coming and we wish you the best in tonight's contest. Now...has everyone signed their releases?"

"I signed mine first," Kenny shouted as he rushed forward to show it to Law-ren. "See! I signed it right at the bottom where I was supposed to!"

"Yes Kenny, at the bottom... and you do know how to bottom don't you? Oh, and you signed it in blood too, I thought maybe you would sign it in something more special!"

"I would have, my Queen, but I wanted to sign mine first and getting blood was faster! I could sign it again, if you would like," he said as he began to unzip his pants.

"Oh no, my dear boy, there is no need for that; we don't have the time now." And with another wave of her hand, a heretofore unseen door opened up, revealing steps leading downward. "Come on everyone, bring me those releases and we'll get started! Kenny, you can go on ahead!"

Kenny eagerly disappeared down the steps and the other contestants filed up to take their turn with Queen Law-ren. Her majesty was most gracious, smiling and greeting each of the contestants by name and making sure that she gave each one of them a moment of her time.

One at a time, they disappeared down the steps until only Odd Bastard was left. Law-ren peered down at his release and smiled a small smile. "Why thank you," she said, "I'll treasure watching this. Now, go join the others."

Odd Bastard smiled a sly smile to himself as he turned and walked over to the stairs. He never heard Law-ren mumble, "yeah, and good luck with that."

He walked across the room, but as he was passing through the doorway, he slammed into an invisible wall of some kind, knocking him off of his feet and leaving a nasty gash on his forehead. The Odd one was confused; everyone else had walked right through this opening.

"Yes, Odd Bastard," Law-ren said laughing, "but then again, everyone else correctly signed their releases using their own fluids. You signed yours with something that you took from LovesCrap. That was very bad form."

"But how..." whined Odd Bastard.

"Magik, dear. Didn't you know?"

"There's no such thing," he growled back.

"Au contraire my Odd friend; it is all too real for some of us. Here take my compact and open it to the mirror; now watch while I use a spell and repair that gash."

Odd Bastard took the mirror and nervously looked into it.

Law-ren smiled as she held his hand and said, "Odd Bastard, for cheating, you are the first one to be eliminated." She then grabbed his hand in a tighter, iron-like grip and began to drain the essence from the very well of his soul. Paralyzed with fear, he continued to look into the mirror and was terrified to see that he was aging rapidly. Wrinkles were appearing with lightning-like speed on his face as the rest of his hair, and all of his teeth fell out. One strangled scream managed to cross his lips before Law-ren smiled wickedly and released what was left of his hand, letting it fall to dust with the rest of him. She waved her hand, producing a gust of wind that blew his remains down the steps and into whatever lurked below.

"One down Manoo, there are only ten to go. Shall we join them?"

"Yes, my Queen!"

Down below, the contestants were amazed at what they saw. Somehow they had been transported outside of the building. There was no way that the two flights of stairs they had descended could have brought them to this place. Yet, here they were, in a small glen among mistletoe riddled oak trees, standing in the moonlight.

"This isn't possible," Ducky said, "look, the moon is full here. It wasn't full earlier tonight."

"Where are we?' several voices asked at once.

"In Salem," said the Queen, laughing, "It's Magik!"

"Hey, where's Odd Bastard," asked LovesCrap.

"Oh, he's been eliminated," replied Law-ren with a smile.

"Woo-Hoo! Go team!" Kenny squealed happily. "One down bitches!"

"Yes Kenny, only ten to go," replied Law-ren, "Now, did everyone read their releases?"

Mostly blank faces stared back at her, but Jethro surprised everyone when he answered that he'd read it. "Anyone else?" Law-ren asked with a relaxed smile. When no one answered, she directed Jethro to tell everyone what he'd learned.

"There was a whole lot of that boring legal stuff in it, blah, blah, blah. Then it listed the prize money and there was a part in there about being eliminated for cheating and stuff. And then it said that all other Litterotica rules apply."

"Yes, we need to talk about that," Law-ren said sadly, "It seems as if I've read quite a few inflammatory posts lately that alleged that some of you may be ineligible for the grand prize because of rules violations. We are going to have to sort this out before I can award tonight's prize."