My name is Ted Kerston. I found some paper and have decided to fill it with my thoughts and ramblings. You know, I used to root for the zombie apocalypse. I prepared for it. Making Go-Bags, learning skills like fire building, lock picking, using fire arms and how to create basic tools in the wilderness. It is true, some of those skills were VERY useful now that my "dream" came true. Now that everything around me has succumbed to fallout, I realize that it's not what I wanted. I mean, I could probably enjoy myself more if the zombies were lifeless, but these... zombies aren't as lifeless as the movies and tv shows made it out to be. Moaning because its throat is in rigamortis. Shambling towards you without coordination. Wet from puss and decay. The only human like quality left being the insatiable hunger glowing from the eyes. I am sure I could put a bullet in that, right? Like putting rounds in targets or playing a shooter. Putting a bullet in the head of a rotten hunk of meat should be easy...
That is not what I am dealing with. They can talk. They make you want to give yourself to them, at least they are convincing to me. They become more and more convincing every passing week. They promise that, "Everything is fine." "It won't hurt." "You'll be happy out here with us." Whispering their lies through the walls. Screaming it at night. Thankfully, they seem unable to concentrate enough to break into our strongholds. The only solace.
I would leave this place if I could. The other survivors have slowly been isolating me. They would have thrown me to the Horde if it was not because I have the only gun. Thank you, Go-Bag. Honestly, we would have starved by now without my knowledge and supplies, but they would never admit it. I am watched like a predator, like the wolf among sheep. I fear them more than they fear me. I am the only male among this sea of estrogen. They outnumber me 8 to 1. It is so hard to sleep with one eye open. I want to run, but I know they would catch me. I am fast, but my stamina will only last so long. I would be run down as soon as I stopped for breath, if I made it that far. There is not even anything close enough to sprint to. I have looked. Every building within sight of the roof has windows at street level, all broken open and full. I do not like the roof. Seeing the sky is nice though, but not worth the sights, sounds and smells of those below me.
The smell is the worst. It is wet, but not from decay. It stirs you to a boil. It's itchy and pungent. It isn't a bad smell. Not like death or rot or anything like that aroma of hot garbage that makes you want to vomit out the deepest parts of your soul. It stirs at the loins the strongest. I always seem to find my hand straying to my crotch, my pants growing tighter. I see the same effect in the women. We know though not to let it control us; that's what started this whole mess. I know that is why they fear me. The women expect me to break and rape them, like I am not aware that would stir the Horde up. The last thing we want is the sounds and smells of sex to entice a stampede. The Horde might be complacent now, leaving us be in our concrete prison, but the second we begin fucking, hell will break down our barricades. A comfort, masturbation seems to be ok. You should clean yourself and the mess you leave behind, less the smell bring a larger crowd, but still safe.
I suppose, I should detail the monsters we face. If you are reading this you know them already, but this chronicling of my thoughts helps distract me. There are two types of creatures: male and female. They all appear normal with very few clues to differentiate. Especially in the female. Most have lost their clothes, some ripped off some removed before hand. Tatters and the occasional sock are not unheard of. Even though the smells of the opposite sex seem to be the driving factor, they ignore each other. This wouldn't be a catastrophe if they attack each other, only piles of insatiable sex. The virus or whatever it is seems to only drive them to infect the uninfected. This virus seems to be a sexually transmitted disease, in that the only areas effected seem to be the groin.
The males pose no threat to me. It is if I am invisible. They also outnumber the female outside our home. I am assuming because of the number of human females present. That sounds like good news. I am still outnumbered 100 to 1. The males have an enlarged sack, looking like two grapefruits. I would guess that the virus takes up residence there, probably stirring up the hormones. They are less vocal than their counterparts hardly saying anything at all, but are significantly faster. They tend to be solo hunters only found in packs when following a scent, probably due to a common destination and not any sense of comradery. They are ferocious. Sprinting in bursts, stopping regularly I assume due to the sensitivity of their new endowments, but with a never-ending hunger to bury themselves in a human female, not afraid to share their target, filling every crack even going so far as masturbating over the scene. Whatever works to get their semen on her. Once spent, they leave her there to wallow in the infection soaked semen. Eventually, she rises and begins her hunt.
The females look no different, aside from being nude and walking unmolested during the apocalypse with an obscene amount of moisture dripping down their legs. The females are not as fast, but never stop. Whereas a male, within sight of you, will run you down, but will fall behind if you can create some distance, a female will constantly charge at you at a fast jog, never stopping. Constantly taunting you, begging for you to stop and come to them. They are worse than any porn star or prostitute with their cries. Whenever I am on the roof, their cries come on in force, touching themselves, being as provocative as possible. I do not know what happens if they were to catch me. I try not to think about it, but the thoughts come anyway whether I am awake or in my dreams. Sex. It must be. How else would the infection enter my loins? Why else would their thighs be dripping so much? I bet it feels amazing... No, I cannot think like that. I would lose my sanity. My humanity.
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