Twisted Wishes Get Twisted Results

I was addicted to games. I loved everything fantasy including all the romantic tropes of swashbuckling pirates, lithe beautiful elves, and medieval heroes who won the day using ridiculous bejeweled swords. As long as the story was predictable and the animated babes were hot, I was happy. I worked, I slept, and I took care of the little chores that come with life, but in all my free time I would generally be indulging in some RPG or the latest online craze.

Horror was not really my thing. I tended to avoid anything gritty, edgy or even borderline scary. My safe space was adolescent fantasy where you could count on the girls always coming around to the male hero. The male hero was also destined to win the day every time if he just tried hard enough--no matter how dumb or one-dimensional he was.

It was a week after my birthday. I had just received a package wrapped in plain brown paper. It sat open on my desk. Apparently a late birthday gift. Since most of my friends and family knew of my aversion to anything dark and sinister, I was surprised to see that the 'gift' was probably the creepiest object I had ever been confronted with in real life. I had very particular tastes that slotted neatly into mainstream geek hobbies. So why then had someone sent me this... thing?

I examined the packaging, looking for a return address or name. Nothing.

Who would pick this out for me? Did they even know me? Maybe a joke or a mispacked order?

Especially curious was the lack of a note, a card or anything else to identify the sender. Apart from the addressee information scrawled on the front, the only other piece of information was the words 'BirTHDay bOY' printed above my name. Without those two words I would not have even thought it was a gift, given that it was wrapped so plainly.

I checked my phone and emails. No texts or messages from anyone to let me know that a package was on the way or that their present to me might be late. It was the same on my socials and gaming forums.

I sat down at the desk, put the packaging aside and examined the object.

It was a little pewter box with intricate embossed engravings covering its surfaces. The engravings were beautiful but nonsensical. Disembodied eyes, mouths, tongues, snouts and hands were all depicted along with characters I did not recognise. The effect was horrific, particularly how some of the eyes and mouths looked contorted in terror. The creating artist had masterfully observed small details that turned my stomach, like throbbing veins and taught tendons.

I looked around the room at my posters. Musclebound heroes, sexy female elves, more sexy female elves, magic casters preparing brightly coloured spells in their hands. Gazing at those posters comforted me somewhat.

I looked back at the box. 'Urgh...'

My plan was simple. Open it, see if anything fun was inside, then chuck it on eBay if I could not find a reason to keep it. I did not care who sent it to me. If it was some loving long-lost aunt then I could make up something later to spare her feelings.

I reached out with both hands, running my fingers over the corners of the lid. 'Yow! Mother-forker!'

The lid was sharp. Both my thumbs had received tiny cuts. There was a little ridge under the rim of the lid, almost like someone had jammed a long razor in there.

I wiped away the small amount of blood on my skin. The stinging cuts had already stopped bleeding. Using a folded tissue for protection, I popped up the lid and opened the box.

The inside was lined with dark red velvet. I thought I had seen something move under the lid, but now there was nothing there. I must have been mistaken.

Question answered. Nothing interesting inside. It was bound for Ebay. I reached for the lid to close it.

Harsh whispering filled the room. I jumped in my chair, heart racing, fingertips and mouth trembling. I turned slowly, as one does when they do not really want to see what they are turning toward. In the corner of the room behind me, floating near the ceiling, was a mass of shadow or dark smoke. With a menacing presence, it started to fill the room. Its vaporous form billowed with tendrils that reached along my walls and over the ceiling.

I wanted to scream, but something about the presence held me frozen. Through the shadows of its main body I could see the rough outline of a face looking back at me.

'Time is short,' it said, forcing its words into me, 'the lid will close in 99 days. I suggest you do not speed it along its way, lest you be left with no real gift. Ask one desire and it can come true until the lid closes. When trapped in the box again all my power will be undone and whatever you asked for will have disappeared, except for your own memories of that gift. By my limitations I do not offer you lasting riches or a transfigured form, but wise minds will find that they can have an experience of other worldly status until they return to their usual life on the 100th day.'

The entity's words overwhelmed me with a keen understanding of its intention. I had no need to worry about whether this was real or not, because the entity forced me to believe in the reality I was presented with, including the iron-clad binding of its rules. 99 days, then back to my ordinary life with the memories of what I experienced. No riches. Nothing lasting.

My eyes turned to the posters. Something amazing that I could experience for 99 days...

'I want to have sex with an elf. No, two. I want to have two elf lovers. We can enjoy each other's bodies for that 99 days, making love as much as possible. And I will be just their type. They will be super, super attracted to me.'

The being pondered. To itself it mused, 'Do elves exist still in this world? Ah, they do. Holdovers from the wild spirits guarding crevasses and hollows.' Louder, addressing me, it said, 'Very well, I will send you to two of them that are left, and I will have them be glad to see you. I will remove any barriers to you all enjoying each other's bodies until the box closes.'

My eyes again looked to my posters. I was confused. I tried to ask the entity what it meant since my assumption was that it would just create two hot, sexy elves from the posters. I did not get the chance to discuss the point though. A rushing filled my ears and my vision when black.

I woke in a dark, cramped space. My clothes were gone. Underneath me felt like wood, but it was dirty and rough. I was definitely not laid out on anything as refined as a modern floor or a piece of furniture. The air also smelled earthy, like overturned dirt.

I did not have enough space to sit all the way up, and the darkness kept me from seeing very much. I felt around with my hands as much as I was able. Was I in a trunk, or a dirty old barrel?

As my eyes adjusted to the darkness I noticed a little bit of flickering light by my feet. The space seemed to extend past my legs like a small tunnel. I could not see how far it went, but there was a dim waving light coming from somewhere. I guessed it was a candle.

As my heartrate settled down and I calmed myself, I became aware of some faint voices. At least two individuals, speaking to each other excitedly.

The sound of the voices caused my cock to stiffen. The reaction confused me until I remembered the entity's words. It had said it would remove any barriers to enjoying each other's bodies. Was my cock's reaction part of that? If those voices were the elves meant for me then did I have the power to stiffen vigorously at only the hint of their presence? If so that seemed to have its advantages. After all, I wanted to make the most of these 99 days, even if this weird setting was not exactly what I expected.

I was reminded of the beginnings of some games, where the opening scene showed the hero waking up in an odd place, like a jail cell or the hold of a ship at sea. This may have been a similar predicament. Maybe this was the harried start to the story before I found myself enjoying lush bed chambers and sexy elf girls.

My cock twitched, bouncing up and down as blood pumped through it. Something about it felt off though.

The voices came closer. I started to make out some of the words. The pair were both very high-pitched, but one sounded a bit more feminine than the other. Their reedy tones were actually quite sharp and unpleasant, reminiscent of how a sniggering little demon might sound in a game. I hoped their physical attributes made up for that.

'Well, where did our clothes go then, aye? If you aren't playing silly buggers, then where are they?'

'Not an idea, Klute. Carried off by thieving bog-trolls for all I know. What I do know is that all of a sudden I'm bloody cold and my tits are about freezing off. Let's get some blankets or summing.'

Tits. Lost clothes. The entity must have made all three of us naked to help 'remove the barriers' of our love making.

Now that I could hear them more clearly, their horribly high voices sounded vaguely Scottish or Irish. I was not sure.

My cock twitched faster. Why did it feel so odd? I reached over and touched it with one hand. It was not the cock I knew. The thing I felt was about as long as my cock had been, but its shape had changed horrifically. A thin stalk extended out from my pelvis and supported a heavy, flared, conical head that was easily double the circumference of the shaft. The shape felt like an obscene pointed mushroom.

I used both hands to feel around it frantically, making a mental image of it by touch. What the hell was this thing? Where was my cock?

I turned my attention to my other privates. I still had balls, but they had changed as well. They were perfectly round orbs that ached to the touch. They seemed intensely full, pushing the limits of what could fill my scrotum.

It was all too much. I let out an anguished cry. The voices down the passage halted, one shushing the other. The light from the candle then got closer. I could hear scrabbling.

As the light closed in my surroundings were illuminated. I was indeed inside some kind of wooden tube, like a long barrel or the hollow of a massive tree.

Powerful hands grabbed my ankles. They dragged me forcefully down the passage, the rough wood under me scraping at my ass and shoulders. I tried to call out, but the best I could manage were a few grunts and whimpering sounds as I was pulled along.

Finally the hands let go. I was in a slightly larger space. Still a wooden tunnel of sorts, but wider. If I had a mind to I probably could have sat up. I elected to stay on my back in a position of submission, holding my hands up in surrender.

'I don't mean to hurt you or disturb you,' I said, my voice quivering. 'I'm sorry to intrude. I think I am here to spend time with you.'

'Kaww,' said the more feminine sounding of the two, 'look at that, Klute. Never seen a big man with a perfect pecker like that. Me mouth is watering just looking at it. I bet the human girls don't like the sight of that thing, but ol' Misu here will gladly boil that mushroom in her little soupy pot.'

'Get away,' said the other. 'You dribbling harlot. You'd shove anything inside you. He is a good sort though, isn't he? Looks like he is just our type. Something for both of us to enjoy. Oi, man, how did you get here?'

Honesty is the best policy. 'I made a wish. I wished that I could make love to two sexy elves. I have always wanted to, ever since I knew what sex was. I think the wish made me come here. Also, I'm sorry but I think my wish may have inadvertently taken all our clothes. The entity who granted the wish to me said that he would remove barriers to us being together. I guess that includes the barrier of underwear.' I let out a very awkward chuckle.

There was a pause and then the other two laughed as well, though it was not a chuckle so much as an undulating manic screeching. Now that they were closer to me I could appreciate how horrible their voices really were. Like a very poor attempt at doing an impression of a monster.

'Alright, man,' said the one called Klute, 'lets have a full look at you. If we decide you are worthy for our sexy little bodies, you are going to stay here and we can all fuck together, yeah?'

I did not think before I answered. All that flashed through my mind were the images of the elves on those posters. Their bawdy little smiles, sexy clothing and massive tits. 'Y-yes. Yes please. I really, really want to stay here and make love to you both... if you'll have me.'

The pair let out more screeching laughter. Then they went silent. I imagined they were looking me over and conferring.

I dared not move until I felt comfortable to do so. I stayed still, looking up at that rough wood. I could hear them whispering to each other.

Eventually they came to some agreement. I felt the hands on my ankles again. Klute said, 'Good thing you came along, love. We was getting bored of having at each other. We will be glad to have you as a third body in the rutting, so long as you treat us nice. This is our home, after all. Be a nice guest, aye? Don't want us to turf you out or give you a little punishment for not accepting our hospitality.'

I nodded, grinning. 'Y-yes. I'll be nice and obedient.'

The hands dragged me down further into an open space that was about the size of my office. It was relatively small, but there was more than enough room to move around, even stand up if I had a mind to. I got the feeling these tunnels were definitely made of hollowed trees. The lack of noise around us made me think that the structure was possibly even buried underground.

Tentatively, I started to sit up, angling my eyes so as to see my hosts.

My heart skipped a beat. What was I looking at?

The pair were short and squat. They were about as wide as I was, but each only stood as tall as my belly button. They were fit, with ropey muscles and large, strong hands. They had long elven ears protruding from their heads, but their facial features were not like the elves of popular media. They bore heavy brows, little button noses, high cheek bones and wide mouths. They looked more like the classic images of garden gnomes than the elves I knew.

From what I could see, the main difference between the pair of them were their endowments. One was flat-chested, while the other sported a large set of perky boobs. The flat-chested one had scruffy short hair, while the one with large breasts had longer hair pulled into a ponytail. Both had little leaves and flowers woven about their hair. Tattoos of various plants also adorned the skin of their shoulders and chests.

The well-endowed one stepped forward, kneeling down in front of me and blocking my view of the other. In one quick motion she whipped out her hand and hooked her forefinger around the thin erect shaft of my new cock. I was startled. I tried to crawl backwards but only managed to move a few inches before her finger was dragged along my cock and got stuck at the bulbous head. I yelped in pain and moved back towards her for fear that any more tension would cause my mushroom-cap-like head to pop straight off my penis.

'Ol' Misu aint gonna let you get away that easy, big one. I never seen a human with a toadstool dick like our kind have. Guess that's why you need to wish to have sex with elves, aye?' Misu laughed shrilly.

'I-I... well, this is not what it--'

'Shush shush,' Misu interrupted, pulling her finger slightly towards her, painfully stretching my hard cock. 'No need to explain. Tell you what though, I'm just glad you are here. Never done it with a human before. Heck, never thought a human would be interested! But you like us elves, hey?' She grinned, showing little bits of plant matter in her teeth.

Before I could answer, she stretched out my cock again. I gritted my teeth and stayed still, afraid of doing anything to upset her.

'Yeah, you love us elves. This is the biggest toadstool I've seen. I'll be glad to plant it in my damp soil.'

I got harder. Misu noticed.

'Good boy.'

She unhooked her finger, got up, and walked around me. I stared at her, half in fear and half in curiosity. The other one must have lit another candle, because the light increased and I could see more of Misu. She was certainly fit. Her proportions were not what I expected, but she was kind of sexy. My eyes settled on the thick bush of pubic hair nested over her vagina. I must have been staring at it for a while, because she clapped her hands to knock me out of my daze.

'You like the look of that, hey? You are lucky that you are just my type. Which is strange, because as I said, I've never had a human before... but... you are just my type.'

'You said that already,' said Klute from the other side of the room. 'He's just my type, too. Which is really odd, now that I think about it. Think that's some magic at work? Part of his wish?'

'I bet that's the case,' said Misu. 'Not sure if he will regret that part of the magic or not though.'

The two of them laughed. I was starting to get sick of being left out of their jokes.

Klute made a seductive noise, 'We do tend to get carried away when we are horny and attracted. No stopping us after we start.'

I forced myself to pull my eyes away from Misu. Still staying on my back, I angled my head to try and see Klute. Klute lit yet another candle, then turned toward me. I could see Klute's thick bush as well, but under it sat a half-erect mushroom-like cock just like mine, except not quite so big.

I gagged. No. Had I not specified two females? The genie or entity or whatever-the-hell-it-was surely saw that all the posters in my room were women, right? Did it ignore the clues to my preferences, or just did not see them? Did it just not care? Surely I said two sexy elf girls.

Klute's words now rang through my head like the reverberations of a gong. They get carried away when they are horny and attracted.

Misu knelt beside me. She used one rough hand to turn my head toward her and she pushed her wide mouth onto my lips. I was startled and frozen, but she easily forced my mouth open and shoved her tongue inside. She began making moaning noises. I was taken aback by the smell of her. She had the usual bodily smells, but mixed with mint and cinnamon, possibly from the leaves and other things woven into her hair.

My resistance disappeared and I kissed her back, wrapping my arms around her neck. Somehow making love to her was the only option I could take. It became clear to me that the wish was not just an opportunity presented to me, but something that would be fulfilled, and my part in it was not voluntary. I had asked to have sex with two elves, and now that I was here my actions would move right along to fulfil that narrative. Any thoughts I had to the contrary were just wishful thinking.

Klute pushed my legs apart and stood between my knees. He held a jug of something in his hands. With a crazed grin he upended the jug over my pelvis, coating my cock, balls and thighs in what turned out to be a thin oil. The oil ran over my skin and down my buttocks to pool underneath me in a sloppy puddle.

Misu pulled her face away from mine and positioned herself in a squat above my head. Just before she lowered herself on to me, the last thing I saw was Klute rubbing some of that oil on his cock, the mushroom head engorging.

There was no turning back now. I would have to fulfil my wish. All three of us were going to make it come true.

Misu shoved her pussy down into my face. She grabbed at my hair with one brawny hand and pulled. I received the message loud and clear. I threw my mouth open and darted out my tongue. As soon as I licked her salty, fragrant flaps she let my hair go. I kept licking. She was so hairy that her nether regions scratched at my face, but I soon forced her lips open and used my tongue and mouth to massage her warm wet folds. The smell and taste of her filled me with need.