Happy Turkey Day
Mashed potatoes. Yams with marshmallows. Corn on the cob. Buttermilk biscuits. Butternut squash soup. Cornbread stuffing. Cranberry sauce. Green bean casserole...her list of favorite Thanksgiving dishes could go on forever. For a stress cooker like Jane, November and December were the months to shine! Every November spread Jane conceived could easily outdo what was done the year before and this year would be no different. This year she had brined the turkey in a brown sugar, citrus and herb broth that would make it the most flavorful and moist bird she would ever roast.
Her husband and children were all too familiar with her early morning Thanksgiving intensity, though her husband preferred the term "insanity". As such he cleared out, with the children in tow, to have a nice breakfast at the local diner and then off to watch their town's attempt at a Macy's style Thanksgiving Day parade. Jane appreciated the consideration because it would keep everyone out of her way and as a result, Jane wouldn't leave anyone in tears by the end of the day. She had always taken cooking very seriously. Its the only thing that has ever really made sense to her.
Standing in front of her open refrigerator, she made a mental note of everything she had pre-made and prepped like the pies and the corn. She looked down towards the bottom of the fridge and smiled at the container holding the promise of a praise-worthy turkey. Still in her robe, she reached into the fridge and grabbed the handles. It was no easy feat lifting an 18 pound turkey soaking in two to three gallons of broth. She withdrew the container and its contents and carefully turned to placed it on the counter. The container was so heavy she was confident she could leave it on the counter and not have to worry about the cat climbing up to knock it over...because he had done just that before. Wine bottles. Cantaloupe. Chinese takeout. The mangy little shit often thought the kitchen counter was his space and would reclaim it as soon as she stepped away. Then she realized she hadn't seen the cat all morning.
She leaned back to cast a glance at the pet door leading into the backyard. The cat was equipped with a little receiver on his collar that would unlock the pet door for him and him alone. This way the family wouldn't have to worry about raccoons or opossums getting in and wreaking havoc in the night. She reached into the cupboard and pulled out a tiny box of his kibble. Jane shook it and waited to the hear the "mew" of a tiny cat with a bottomless pit in his stomach.
When she heard nothing, she called out, "Ozy?"
*shake shake*
"Ozymandias?"
*shake shake*
She frowned. She walked to the back door, pulling her robe tighter around her to protect her tiny frame from the chill outside. She pulled the door open and called out again, shaking the box in turn. Still nothing.
With furrowed brow and pursed lips, she finally shrugged and closed the door. The stupid cat was probably out killing something cute and would promptly return to drop it at Jane's feet. She made a mental note to talk to the children about having their little arts and crafts parties on the back porch. They had gotten red paint on the steps and no one had bothered to clean up. Jane would normally take care of it then and there, but she had a turkey that she needed to give her undivided attention to.
She walked to her room and removed her robe, ready to pick something comfortable to cook in for the rest of the day. She turned on her bluetooth speaker and began playing music that would set the mood for the rest of the day. To the percussion and funk of "Mustang Sally" she pulled on a sports bra and plucked a pair of gray yoga pants from her dresser. Slipping her feet into a pair of flats, she grabbed her favorite off-the-shoulder shirt and felt ready to start being awesome in the kitchen. Still moving her body to the groove of Wilson Pickett, she heard a loud crash come from outside the room.
She hesitated wondering what it could have been. Had she left the back door unlocked? Maybe the door swung open and broke the glass...or the wind might have knock something over... She walked cautiously towards the hallway. It wouldn't surprise me if Ozy had knocked somethi... Oh shit, the turkey!
Her cautious gait ramped up into a full-tilt sprint and the aroma of oranges, sage, and rosemary reached her nostrils before she even turned the corner of the kitchen. The container lay on the floor, broth still pooling around it, splashes of the broth evident on the kitchen cabinets and even the ceiling. Jane thought she might cry if she weren't so consumed with a rage that spelled doom for that cat if it had the balls to show its mangy face. Naturally, it was nowhere to be found.
Strangely the turkey was also no where to be found. It had just fallen, perhaps it could still be salvaged. She stepped into the room and looked around the kitchen island in case the turkey slid to the other side of the room. Nothing. Stepping into the broth, she noticed a trail of it leading out of the kitchen and into the dining room. She gasped, thinking the cat had attempted to flee with the turkey and hurried to cut him off. As she turned into the dining, she didn't see the cat or the turkey but the trail of broth continued. As she continued to follow the turkey's tracks, she began to consider the idea of the cat taking the turkey absurd. The turkey was almost twice the cat's size and Ozy really isn't that ambitious.
Jane was surprised to find the turkey laying in front of the pet door. She stooped to pick it up quickly and cursed the ridiculous feline for messing with what was supposed to be the day's piece de resistance. She carried it to the sink and washed it off as best she could. It felt heavier than she remembered but attributed the extra weight to the absorption of the brine. Satisfied with its condition, she placed it gingerly into its roasting pan to inspect it more closely.
Something struck Jane as...odd about the turkey. It still looked like a turkey but it also didn't. Something seemed off about it but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. She admitted it was heavier than it was before she brined it and it also looked bigger for some reason. The wings and legs appeared to be in awkward positions, almost as though the turkey had been contorted prior to its beheading...but that wasn't how she had purchased it. Surely it couldn't be a side effect of the brining or the fall, could it? She reached for the tip of one of its wings and pulled, extending the limb before letting it go again. She grabbed the drumstick and wiggled it around. Bending at the waist, she lined her face up with the turkey cavity she would normally stuff with vegetables and meat. She could have sworn she saw movement inside the cavity and she recoiled in disgust.
Great, something got in when I opened the back door and now its gotten inside my fucking turkey!
She stood straight with her hands on her hips, thinking what she should do. Everything was closed. There was no way she could get her hands on another turkey and there was no time to make the brine again much less brine the turkey. She bent at the waist again and tried to catch a glimpse of movement again. When she couldn't see anything, she drew a few inches closer to the bird. Her hand moved slowly to open the cavity a little more.