My life went back to normalcy after a while or something close to it. It had been several months since I had found myself back in my place, the safety of my home. My body shrunk back to its slender self, my breasts healed. Of course my golden pubic hairs grew back. There were not even any stretch marks. The happenings in the catacombs became a faded memory, forgotten like a bad dream which I began to believe it was. I had called my parents and let them know I was OK and would probably spend at least 6 more months in Italy. I wanted to stay longer and was looking for a way to do it. They had been worried and had left many messages on my phone and had tried to contact me by phone and through several friends. I made up some excuse about losing my cell while on a holiday and not to worry about me. I was an adult after all.
I started several more classes at the University and was looking for a job. I would do anything just to stay. I didn't want to go home. Something deep inside me forbids me. Some deep longing or urges I couldn't explain. I didn't know what it was. I guess it could be compared to lust. Something I had to do or had to have. I craved something. Something was missing from my life that I needed, craved, lusted for. It was my body telling me this not my mind. It was kind of like the way the body craves water when dehydrated or when after experiencing a lot of good foreplay, the bodies need for sex and a good hard orgasm...
With my life getting back to normal, the excitement of just being in Italy and back with my friends pushed the nightmare deep into my subconscious. There it smoldered and controlled me although I didn't know it or was aware of it. I pushed away all the guys I would have had a relationship with if I hadn't been controlled. I had no sexual urges to be with them. They were just friends like the girls I hung around with. Some tried to get me into bed but I pushed them away. Soon they quit trying. I didn't even go back on the pill. Saw no need to. It was funny, not Ha, Ha funny though. I couldn't even get turned on. Not even watching some of the porno programs would make me wet. That was really unusual for me.
Sometime around the third or fourth month I got this urge to go back to church. I felt no need before then, even though I was raised Catholic and had gone to church somewhat regularly. This Sunday, I went. It was like going to church the first time as a child. I was excited. I walked into the Cathedral with awe. It was beautiful, stimulating. I felt strange though; it wasn't stimulating my soul as it should have been, but my body. I fidgeted all through the service. I discovered I was aroused. I hoped it didn't show.
I was embarrassed, could feel my face flushing when I noticed an old woman watching me. I didn't think I knew her and I felt my blush deepening. I thought I could smell my arousal and hoped no one else could. Was it my imagination? I was confused, very confused. How could being in church do something like this? I hadn't felt something like this for months...