I'm sure that eventually every couple moves past the honeymoon phase of their relationship. And even when both partners are being extremely intentional about their relationship, sometimes they get out of sync and unfortunately Andrew and I were having our first experience with this tension.
I'm sure it had something to do with the changing of the seasons and us both getting busier at work. Andrew's case load at the firm always ramped up in the autumn and my classes got much more intense in the second half of the semester.
The days were getting shorter and the mornings were colder. Andrew was stressed and I was tired so making love for connection took a back seat for the first time in our relationship.
After yet another small tiff over something that didn't matter, such as leaving the lid off the jam jar, or misplacing my glasses for the third time in a day, we both went to work without kissing goodbye.
During some down time in my office, I was feeling guilty for being so stubborn with Andrew that morning. I shot him an apology text and he replied with one of his own.
We should get away for the weekend, drive up North and be just the two of us.
That sounds great, babe. Want me to find us a place?
I agreed and sat back feeling a little better and knowing that this season of disconnect would eventually pass.
When I got home that night, Andrew was already there watching TV on the sofa. His shoes and socks were littered across the floor in a path from the door to the living room and suddenly the good will I had for him evaporated yet again. I walked past him to the kitchen and grabbed a soda, taking it to the bedroom. I sat on the bed and played on my phone waiting for my anger to mellow.
After half an hour or so Andrew appeared in the doorway.
"Elsa, I booked us a room at a B&B up in Southerness for this weekend."
"Okay," I chirped back without looking up from my phone.
"Should be good to be out of town for Halloween. I'm sure the pubs around here will be packed."
"Mmhmm," I agreed.
"Alright, I'm gonna watch telly," he said leaving slowly.
"Have fun," I said knowing how passive aggressive I sounded.
That timbre of interaction continued through the week. One of us would try to be nice and the other would reject and vice versa. Finally Friday arrived and after leaving work a bit early we packed the car and headed North. It was a three hour drive to Southerness. I made Andrew take a car sickness pill so he would sleep the whole way. Any time we went further than the outskirts of the city, he got ill.
I listened to some radio as I drove to keep me focused. The station I landed on was playing some Halloween classics like Michael Jackson's "Thriller" and "The Monster Mash."
My GPS led me to the Bed and Breakfast that Andrew had booked for us. The small building looked ancient, but I had grown accustomed to that having now lived in the UK for three years.
I shook Andrew awake and he slowly rubbed his eyes.
"I'm going to go check us in," I said. I turned back to leave a peck on his cheek. The point of the weekend was to reconnect after all.
Crossing the lawn to the front door I noticed a young man carrying wood to the back door. He was tall and broad with a full reddish-brown beard and a navy blue cable knit sweater that clung to his shoulders. He gave me a light-hearted nod as he saw me walk past, I'll admit it gave me a bit of a thrill to be looked at that way by another man with my husband so close by in the car.
I pulled the door to the inn open with a loud creak and stepped into the dim entry. A black cat skittered past my feet and on into the house. 'That's seasonally appropriate' I thought, also noticing the abundance of cobwebs in that first room.
I stepped into the lobby and up to a well-worn dark wood desk. Room keys hung on a board behind the desk and the keys look just as old as the in itself. A tall grandfather clock stood ticking in the corner and the black cat had curled up at its base.
A big brass bell sat on the desk and I picked it up to ring for service. While I waited for someone to appear I noticed what I thought was a crucifix hanging on the wall. That seems pretty normal for a Scottish inn, but upon closer look I realized it wasn't the form of Jesus hanging on the cross. I couldn't tell what it was. I took a small step forward to try and figure it out when the door behind the desk opened, startling me.
A woman, looking to be in about her mid-50s stepped into the lobby. Her once black hair was lined with silver and pulled back into a tight bun. She wore a high colored lace blouse and a skirt which gave me flashbacks to Frau Blucher from Young Frankenstein.
"Hello," she said in a deep, placid voice.
"Hi, I'm Elsa Bennett. My husband Andrew Bennett made a reservation?"
The woman looked at me cooley before answering, "Yes it is here. Andrew Bennett one room for two nights."
She looked up at me again but didn't make another move.
"Do you, uh, need my credit card?"
"No, the room is paid for," Again she stopped and looked at me.
I suddenly felt very awkward, but Andrew appeared at the entry door with our bags.
"Hello there," he said cheerfully. The woman gave a small nod in response. The door behind her opened again and a middle aged man with a long grey ponytail stepped out. I assumed it was her husband and he looked us over with the same dark eyes as his wife.
The woman looked to her husband momentarily then back at me.
"You are an American?" She asked pointedly.