Preface
:
This is a story I've been working on for some time; my re-introduction to writing after some personal things in my life took the craft away from me for a little while. It started with no story, no plot, just the first line, which you'll read if you choose to continue on. The story ran on pretty much balls-to-the-wall from there, and in the meantime I think I've just been a kind of stenographer for something else.
The more the story grows, however, the more I begin to understand that no publisher will ever touch it because of the incest themes, at least not without some heavy cutting and massive re-writes. I have no desire to do that now, so just for kicks I'm presenting to you this story in its most raw and unabridged form.
It's unfinished, pretty much unedited. There will be more on the way because I'm still working it... I have no choice but to finish. I am, after all, the stenographer, and I can't stop working until the voices stop speaking. If you're a writer, you'll understand.
I should warn you up front, you've got some way to go until you get to the 'good parts', which are often a long way in between. If you're looking for a quickie, this ain't it. I won't be offended if you go somewhere else. But if you want to read a—hopefully—rich and entertaining story, give this one a shot. The good stuff is in there, I assure you, but you have to be patient.
Most of all, I thank you for reading. It's been a long time since I've done this, and coming back to it I've realized it's as fun as I remember. If you want, dive into the story and I hope you have some fun too.
--S.J.
I. The Reunited
Chapter 1
'Mother's dead,' was all the familiar voice on the other end of the line said. Violetta waited for more, but only received the static hum of the phone line. Or maybe it was the static hum of her own head. The sentence 'mother's dead' rang hollow in her ear like old news from long ago and far away.
Pompeii was destroyed by the eruption of Mount Vesuvius. Thousands killed. Mother's dead.
Violetta, who had no news of her own, stayed silent.
'Letti?'
'Don't call me that, please.'
'Sorry.' No apology in that voice. 'Did you hear me?'
'I heard you.'
Violetta had known already. Not necessarily that her mother was dead, but that something was wrong. It had happened the day before, exactly three-forty in the afternoon while Violetta was at work. Her heart quickened, a cold sweat broke out on her skin and a great wide lump had formed in her throat as if she might cry. And then, moments later, a cool wave of relief washed over her. These feelings, seemingly from nowhere, bonds that were strained and weakened but not entirely broken. Mother's dead, and now Violetta knew it was her twin sister, Maddalena, Maddy, who had found her. Maddy who had been caring for a sick old woman hand and foot for years. Shock, sadness, then relief the order of her emotions on that day. Violetta knew it without being told.
'Did you know already?' Maddy asked.
'No. I knew something was wrong, but not that.'
'And you still didn't call.'
'No, I didn't.' Again, no apology. There was little apology between the two sisters anymore, and Violetta supposed they were both accustomed to that. There could be no apology when there was nothing between them at all. No real love, but no particular hate either. Now, things felt decidedly neutral and that may have been more damaging than anything.
'Have you made arrangements yet?' Violetta asked.
'I'll take care of it.'
'I can help with—'
'I'll take care of it.'
'Okay.'
There was another long silence. Years ago, when they were younger, that silence would not have been awkward like it was now. Awkwardness did not exist between twin girls growing up together, the kind of twins who could read each other's minds, finish each other's sentences. Now, growing apart on separate sides of the country, they were no longer twins, but just sisters. Sisters different enough to not even like each other very much.
'Letti?'
Violetta let the nickname slip this time. There was still a place inside her, a small silent place, where she liked it. Small and silent enough to forget the troubled last sentence that contained it, the last time they had seen each other, the last words that spelled out their terminal rift
. Letti, if you leave with him, I won't love you anymore
. Child-like in their simplicity those words, especially coming from an eighteen-year-old woman. Direct and honest, like they had always been with each other.
I won't love you anymore
. Violetta remembered the way those words had struck her to the core, flooding her young body with so much disappointment, regret and, most of all, anger. All over a man, a boy really, who was not even around anymore.
'Letti, how's Roger?'
This a sudden and—Violetta believed—deliberate shot to her heart. Did Maddy know, or was this simply a case of bad timing? Somewhere deep inside, from the place where that fragile bond still existed, Violetta knew it was not bad timing, though maybe not quite deliberate. The same way Violetta knew something had been wrong a day before Maddy had called, not exactly what, just
something
.