As much as Phil disliked the Scrote, being a student in his Advanced Studies classes had some benefits. The first year room he'd shared with Jake Pulman had been little more than a cupboard with two beds. Compared to that, his new room was enormous. It even had its own toilet.
And it was all Phil's. Even though the room contained an extra bed, Phil didn't have to share with any other student. He guessed the spare bed was supposed to be for his daemon, which presented a slight problem as currently Phil had two.
Or maybe more, he wasn't exactly sure on that.
He doubted the lack of beds would be a problem. Rosa and Verdé were succubi, daemonic sexual vampires. Most likely they'd see it as an excuse for one of them to share a bed with him, or with each other. As both of them looked as ravishing as extra-hot porn stars, this might have sounded fantastic if it wasn't for the tiny drawback that sex with a succubus was invariably fatal.
He'd somehow managed to survive so far. Barely. Currently they called him master.
Phil didn't think that word meant what he thought it meant.
"Yeuch!" Rosa said, horrified. "They actually expect us to sleep here?"
"It is a little pokey," Verdé said.
Pokey? This was enormous compared to his last room.
"This is good for a student's room," he mumbled. He noticed someone had brought down his belongings and left them on the right hand bed in a little bundle.
Rosa walked over to the other bed and pressed a hand down on the mattress with a disapproving expression.
"Do these people know what comfort is?" she complained.
"Very spartan," Verdé said, entering the room and looking around.
"This won't do at all," Rosa said.
"All the rooms are like this," Phil said.
"How are we supposed to seduce yummy students on beds as hard as rocks with blankets that stink of old mould?" Rosa said.
"Wait, what do you mean, seduce yummy students?" Phil asked.
Rosa and Verdé ignored him. They moved over to the door to the en-suite bathroom. They seemed less interested in what lay beyond it than the door itself. They opened it up a fraction and examined the jamb.
"Wood's a little old, but it should be okay," Verdé said.
"Easier to hide than out in the main corridor," Rosa said.
Phil didn't have the faintest idea what they were up to. He stood in the centre of the room and felt almost invisible. In a way it made a pleasant relief from one of the succubi jumping him for sex every five minutes.
"I'll call CÎrμlÉ™a," Verdé said.
She produced a dainty little mobile phone and put it to her ear.
Rosa saw Phil's look of surprise and sniffed. "Just because you Luddites still choose to dress up in medieval robes doesn't mean we have to ignore the latest advances in technology as well."
"Medieval robes have their uses." Verdé flashed her green eyes at Phil and smiled as she slipped a hand into his warlock's robe and groped his privates.
"Hello CÎrμlÉ™a," Verdé said, her attention drawn back to the phone.
"Yes, we're here. Can you see us?" She continued the one-sided conversation.
"Good. Now perform the Aper-Portoirre ritual."
"Yes, then you can come to Earth too."
"No, not tonight."
"Aww, I know you're excited. You'll have to be patient. The stars will be right soon."
"Yes, then we'll have fun. Lots and lots of fun."
"Master's doing fine," Verdé turned and smiled at Phil. "Now go and start the ritual."
Verdé closed her little clamshell phone and put it away. She flashed Phil another bright smile.
What was going on here? Rosa and Verdé were in no mood to elaborate. They sat on the edge of the bed facing the en-suite door and shared a passionate kiss.
Phil jumped as bright blue light flared above the old black hinges of the bathroom door. The light crackled and hissed as it extended in a line along the jam of the door. It looked like someone was using a welding torch on the other side of the door, or was cutting through with a high powered laser.
From where?
Phil wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer to that question.
The line of light continued to burn its way around the door until it came back up and reached the lower hinge. It flared brightly, as if a blue star was burning behind the door so brightly the light burst out through the cracks. Then it flared out. Puffs of black smoke smelling of sulphur welled up from the crack between the bottom of the door and the floor.
There was an expectant hush as the smoke dissipated.
Rosa nodded Phil on to open the door. "Go on, open it," she said.
Phil wasn't exactly eager to do this. A few minutes earlier the door had opened into a tiny little bathroom. He very much doubted this was the case now.
Rosa nodded again. "Go on."
It wasn't a request. Phil walked up to what had been a plain wooden door leading to a plain little toilet. It still looked plain and woodeny. Utterly unremarkable.
He looked back at his two succubi. For some reason they'd got off the bed and were standing on the other side of it.
"Why are you standing so far back?" he asked.
"Oh, no reason," Verdé said, smiling sweetly.
Phil looked back at the door, thinking about what might be on the other side of it and wondering if thinking about what might be on the other side of it was a sensible thing to be thinking about. He reached, slowly, for the handle.
An object popped into existence on the side of the door with a flash of blue light, nearly causing Phil's heart to jump up out of his mouth. It looked like a brightly coloured Fisher-Price toy designed for the children of megalomaniac scientists. It could be a dial. His eyes watered from looking at it. The lines and curves of the dial intersected in ways that should be topologically impossible.
Phil didn't know what he was supposed to do with it—if anything—so he left it, turned the door handle and gave the door an experimental prod. The door swung open with a drawn out creak. Phil closed his eyes and braced himself for...what...
A familiar perfumed fragrance greeted his nostrils. Phil opened his eyes and saw the main hallway of the succubi's castle. Ornate stairs lined with statues of lewd nymphs curved up to the second floor.
"Ah, perfect," Rosa said. She'd snuck up to Phil's shoulder without him noticing.
The gaudy dial next to the door caught her attention.
"Hmm, I wonder," she mused.
She pulled the door to and twiddled the dial. At least Phil thought she twiddled the dial. It hurt his brain to look at it.
"Now let's see..."
She pushed the door open and this time Phil was looking into the gigantic bathroom with black marble walls and a huge circular pool with gold taps cast in the shape of buxom mermaids.
"Interesting, now what if..."
Rosa pulled the door to, turned the dial and opened the door onto a different room. Phil recognised this one as well. It was the large pentagonal room with the enormous red bed. The walls were lined with skulls and the skeletons of the succubi's previous victims lay on top of the silk sheets.
"Clever girl," Verdé said.
"This gives me an idea," Rosa said. She shared a smile with Verdé as she manipulated the dial.
The door opened onto a room Phil hadn't seen before. Well, not a room exactly, it looked more like a cave. Even though it looked like they were underground, the cave was lit with a soft yellow glow. This glow came from the cave walls. Bright streams of molten lava flowed slowly through veins of clear crystal in the walls.
There were two naked girls with lush, gorgeous bodies lounging on a glossy black bed in the centre of the room. Both had long, lithe legs and flat, trim stomachs. Despite their athletic-looking frames, they also had large round breasts that looked like soft pillows.