Rebeccas Note

So I thought that this was gonna be a suicide note; correction, a double suicide note. It's still here though. I guess this is gonna be something of an explanation instead. I suppose I owe that much to the dead. Upfront I'm gonna say this. It's gonna seem complicated to those who aren't me but here goes. When I say 'me' I mean the four of us. Like I said, I'll explain.

There's Jingyi. Jingyi is the girl my family, friends and colleagues know. The girl you will meet in my day to day life if we ever meet in my day to day life. Jingyi feels the weight of expectation to live life to her name. She's an intelligent, gentle and quiet girl. For better or for worse there are no exciting stories to tell about Jingyi.

Then there's Jing. Jing is Jingyi's inner monologue. The voice in her head. Jing doesn't like Jingyi and Jingyi doesn't like Jing. Jing doesn't understand why Jingyi is happy to waste her life. Jing doesn't understand why Jingyi is timid, subservient and anxious all the time. Jingyi doesn't get why Jing keeps talking to her like she doesn't get it. Jingyi wishes she'd just shut the fuck up already.

So we came to England from China when I was 6. My Dad is English. My Mum Chinese. I don't know how they met or why they split up. My Dad never talks about her and I'm too gentle and quiet to ask. It's not important anyway. They would argue, my mother would scream murder and eventually my Dad took me away. It was all very fucked up. My mother was tiny but terrifying. If you can picture in your mind the thin, tiny terrifying woman from Chinese horror films then you're looking at my Mum.

So then it's just me and my Dad. He did a fine job raising me without a Mum. I mean it's a fucked up situation obviously but overall I have no complaints. I got good grades, GCSE's; A Levels. I fitted in, I did just fine. Then I went to Uni and it's from there my world started to get really fucked. When I say fucked I don't just mean in a sex way. It's not a sex thing or at least it didn't start off that way. Since I know you want to ask, yes I did lose my virginity at Uni but this isn't about that at all. I'm not gonna go into details here about that though because compared to the rest of the story honestly it's boring. Honestly.

So me and my friend Alice went out charity shopping one day. We used to buy a lot of clothes from Charity shops. It was kind of trendy when we were at Uni so it wasn't like a money thing. We used to customise clothes and everything. Looking back I think think our outfits looked cool. So there. Anyway in one of the Charity shops there was a Ouija board for sale which we couldn't fucking believe! It wasn't like an old creepy one or anything. It was boxed and looked nearly new. It had a price label from Toys R' Us still on it for £15.00. Naturally we bought it. Cost us £5.00. We were ecstatic. To Uni students honestly, that was like finding gold! So that night we got drunk on Bulleit Rye (that was our drink), and messed around with the board. Worth mentioning that in my dorm we were all science students, so we're smart and also fully aware of how Ouija boards work. Even so, if you've never played with one, you'd be surprised with how weird and creepy those things are. The ideomotor effect is truly a fucking weird creepy thing. Anyway we all got pissed up and scared. Alice got a little more pissed and a little more scared than the rest of us. So end of the night, Alice asked if she could stay in my dorm. I only had a single bed but that's not a big deal to girls. I don't expect guys to understand that, but girls also share toilet cubicles together when we go out clubbing and I don't expect them to understand that either. Before you start thinking about that too hard let me tell you, it's not remotely sexy so don't waste your fantasies. Alice and me that night however. Well that was sexy. Very sexy.

Alice was, and still is a complete attention whore. You should check out her Facebook and Insta posts. It's sad really. She's a total attention whore but I still love her. At Uni she was the same. She looks amazing with make up but she wears a ton of it. She's pretty plain looking without it but I guess a lot of girls are in reality. She's got a tiny frame though and massive boobs. Those things are head turners honestly. She could've worn no make up and the Uni guys would've still wanted a bit of her. When we went out as a group her outfits had to be that extra bit sluttier than the rest of us. She wanted all the attention on her. Like I said, a total attention whore. A prick tease too. I mean she did go with guys, but the way she dressed and acted you'd think she'd fuck anybody. I don't know anything about her childhood but I'm guessing something was messed up. 'We're all damaged in our own way.' That's a line from a metal song. I adore metal music. That line has always resonated with me. I guess it's true. Anyway back to me and Alice. So we got undressed down to our knickers and into bed. I get so sleepy after drinking so I practically fell straight asleep. I was half awake, half asleep and Alice took my hand. I didn't think anything of it as I was still half asleep and getting more asleep. I heard her whisper.

"Stroke my kitty Jing."

I didn't even register. I'd never heard anyone call it that so it didn't even startle me. It wasn't until she guided my hand between her legs that I worked it out. I mean I honestly didn't know how to react. So while Alice wanked herself to a quick and drunken orgasm using my hand, I pretended to be asleep. I could feel myself getting wetter as she used me but I didn't do anything about it. I never got another chance either. I don't know if Alice even remembered doing it. She was so drunk. She never talked about it anyway and I'm too gentle and quiet to ask. So when I said earlier that there are no exciting stories to tell about Jingyi I stand by that because she wasn't there that night. She was asleep.

Like I said, I know how Ouija boards work so I don't put what happened next down to that but I also don't know how else to explain it. In my sleep I was visited by a fox. A fox with nine tails. It didn't speak obviously because it's a fox, but it was in my head. It was saying to me over and over again 'I am in you now. I am in you now'. This was so vivid though. I mean really, really vivid. I Googled it and in Chinese mythology there are these things called Huli Jing. I'd never heard of them though. I know you'll think that it must've been something I'd heard in China when I was a little kid but I swear I never did. So yeah. I got my Huli Jing that night. I'm not even gonna explain it or justify it any more than that. You either believe me or not. Either way it's totally fucking true and totally fucked up.

Living with this Huli Jing thing at Uni was really, really hard. I'd always been interested in sex in the way that teen girls are but it really wasn't that important to me. Everybody wants to be wanted. That's all it was really. Porn had never really interested me before that night. I just wanted to get good grades and make my Dad proud. I now had this lust that was overwhelming though and that just wasn't compatible with my ideal at all.

Now's a good time to introduce Candy.

Candy. I'll be honest she was a total porn creation. The name, the look, everything. She's so exciting. Jingyi hates Candy. Jing likes Candy and wishes Jingyi liked her more. Candy was kept locked away at University by Jingyi as much as possible. As much as Candy wanted all the kitty, all the cock and all the cum from the vids that she watched on the Internet, Jingyi wanted her 1st in Biology more.

My friends got worried. They wondered why I had become withdrawn all of a sudden and why I wasn't going out at night as much anymore. Why I alway made excuses to go home early. They said I was studying too hard and I'd get ill if I didn't let my hair down properly. By the time they got to the club though, Jingyi was locking her dorm door and Candy was getting dressed up like a total fucking slut and getting out the latest sex toy she'd ordered off the net. Candy was fucking herself absolutely senseless in front of the mirror. Streaming hot porn vids, she tried to recreate the scenes of fucking as well as an inexperienced, petite Asian girl could do in a room with nothing but a bunch of outfits and a box of dildos, vibrators and anal toys for company. Candy was a filthy fucking animal. Jingyi figured that if she allowed Candy this release then hopefully Candy would let her study when she needed to. Jing loved it of course. She thought Candy was fucking fire and the orgasms...OMG...THE ORGASMS!!

So we made it through Uni. A few less friends maybe but with the 1st class honours degree. We were pretty happy with ourselves. Dad was happy too and wanted me home. For a time everybody seemed satisfied. The Huli Jing thing wasn't satisfied though so instead of moving home I moved away again. Dad was happy to fund my Masters though and so a move to a different City was perfect fit for everybody.

By day Jingyi could carry on with her studies. Masters students are way more understanding when you say you don't want to go out. Must be a boredom or burn out thing. Being Chinese looking in this new place of strangers also had its benefits. If you don't want to speak to anyone you just keep quiet. Most of the time people assume you can't speak English and will just leave you alone. Chinese girls are still quite rare to see in England, so nobody ever expects to you speak the language let alone actually be English! It's also a look that made getting clients easy.

When the visits came now they became more intense.

"I need more from you Candy. I need more from you Candy."

We relented. In England they call it being 'on the game.' English punters love something exotic. For Candy it was so much fun in the beginning. The years spent perfecting her slutty, bratty character. Releasing her for the first time was an amazing experience. The businessman who bought her for the night thought he was so fucking suave. Punters like to think they've got the power but they haven't. It's all with the whore. Candy was dripping wet before they even got into the hotel. She made him cum so quick. She demanded to be fucked again but he didn't even have it in him. She would've left without taking his cash too if he hadn't reminded her as she was leaving. What a gentleman.

What a thrill. On the way back to the train station she stopped in the park. It was completely empty. She wished that there was a crowd to watch her though as, apart from her knee high boots she got completely naked and fingered herself to orgasm on the park bench; fantasising and wishing she could squirt when she came, the way that all the girls on the net can squirt nowadays. By the time she home, showered and in bed she was Jingyi again.

So that could've been where this story ended but then that wouldn't explain half the stuff that I've alluded to would it, so you know there's more. Sex with clients coincided with visitations. They went from being a monthly thing, to a weekly thing and then two or three times a week. The clients; now they would be a psychologists dream. If you think that there's one type of punter then you're dead wrong. You wouldn't be able to pick out a punter in a Police line up I swear it. Even if you did I bet you still wouldn't be able to guess what they're kinks were or what kind of experience they enjoyed. So sure, Candy acts like a slut but she still has standards. Condoms are a must. Pussy sex is on offer to all and anybody can finish on her face. Feminists and those who aren't having good sex talk and say that cumming on a girls face is disrespectful. They blame 90s porn for 'normalising' it. Well you reap what you sow. You spend a decade telling people they're gonna get AIDS from sex and that's what you get. Anal is an off the menu dish, served to only the special customers. Like I said, punters like to think they've got the power but they haven't. It's all with the whore. On nights when she hadn't been satisfied, walks and wanks in the park also became a regular treat for Candy. Public masturbation; such a pleasure. It really suited her character. The first time she got an audience for it, well...lets just say that was a game changer.

It was really dark in the park so you couldn't really tell what someone looked like. Or maybe I just don't want to remember. I'm guessing he was in his 60's.

"Can I join in?"

"No but you can stay and watch the show if you want. It's only just started."

So I guess he was enjoying himself and enjoying the show. It was something about the way he hit the ground. So hard. Candy knew instantly that he was dead and the Huji Jinn howled with delight. In that moment she came harder than she ever had. If she could squirt she knew that she would've squirted like the Bellagio Fountains. In that moment of primal ecstasy she also screamed a name from nowhere, in a voice that she wasn't sure was hers.

"Rebecca!"

So finally I can introduce to you Rebecca. When I first got to Uni I needed some extra spending money. Dad had brought me up right so I've always been willing to work for things I want. I don't expect things in life to come for free. I started working at a Chinese restaurant near to my digs. The manager was another scary little woman like my mother. I hated her. Her English was shit. How she managed to run a business I don't know but she did and it was successful. I guess you should never judge a book by it's cover or its bad grasp of English. She insisted, "you have English name." I didn't get it and I still don't. I'd grown up in England. I knew that people could at least manage Jing. She insisted though and she scared me like my Mother scared me. So I spent a year, three times a week in the company of three other actually Chinese girls; 'Iris', 'Winnie' and 'Joyce', who could speak as much English as I could speak Chinese. I came up with 'Rebecca' from a Google search. Apparently it's a popular choice for a 'Western Name' in Hong Kong. I guess I thought it might piss her off.

I didn't know it at the time but it was my first schooling in the effect that an Asian girl can have on 'real' men. From holding my hand that little bit too long when a tip was handed over to overhearing conversations about 'how they'll do anything that you want them to do.' Maybe that was the case for 'Iris'. Maybe 'Joyce' would offer a full service on request. Not 'Rebecca' though. I just played the part and pretended not to understand them. Gentle and quiet.

You see, Candy is just the fucker. Rebecca is the Femme Fatale. After that amazing orgasm in the park I honestly thought that the Huli Jinn was sated. I didn't even think about sex for weeks until I realised that I hadn't thought about sex for weeks. I kept my 'client phone' switched off and just studied, fully focused, like I could before that night with Alice. A month to the day I had another dream. More vivid than any dream I've ever had. I lay completely naked on my bed except for the Huli Jinn who was draped over my torso, his nine tails each lightly teasing a different part of my bare skin. My zones fired in sexual stimulation. It looked me dead in the eyes.

"Rebecca we need to go to work again."

I awoke suddenly and fully and grabbed my 'client phone' turning it on. As the notifications of messages, voicemails and missed called came through in vibration one after another, I held the handset pressed against my pulsing sex. As they finished I put the handset aside, my head swimming with excitement and opportunity. With two fingers in my dripping wet hole I resolved that I would make a call in the morning.

My next client was just the last guy to call me. That evening Candy went to work. Suck and fuck. He came. The walk back to the station bypassed the park. After getting home Candy locked the door to the flat. Within minutes Rebecca had turned on the MacBook and was researching.

Rule 1. If you want to get away with it, watch how the professionals do it. Thanks for the inspiration British Government.

Getting the Co-Proxamol and needles was easy. I never found out if the lab realised some had been taken. Nobody would suspect the quiet Chinese girl anyway and let's face it, everybody wants to hide a fuck up. Punters make perfect victims. No happy person has ever used a whore. Don't let anybody tell you different. When a sad guy is found dead in his flat or his hotel, his friends and family will do the work for you. Just another helpless suicide case I guess. In truth I've never looked back to see what wreckage was left behind.

Rule 2: Leave no trace; Never get caught.

There's a 3rd rule too but I don't want to give away all my secrets.

So Candy became the foreplay and Rebecca the climax. Each climax satisfied the Huli Jinn until the need more more. Jack wasn't just another victim. Jack was number nine. Nine was meant to be the end. I was sure of it. You see, I'm a smart girl. I got the degree I wanted. I thought that I'd figured it all out. It was all symbolic. One climax for each tail. That would satisfy him fully. I just knew that was the answer.

It appears that it wasn't the answer though. He's still here. This note was meant to be a goodbye to Candy and a goodbye to Rebecca. A double suicide note of sorts. Instead this will all continue now until one of us is caught or one of us kill ourselves. I have no idea which is more likely. I don't even know who wrote this note.

I do know this. It's important to Jingyi that people understand that she's not responsible for the actions of Candy and Rebecca or the thoughts of Jing. It's also important to Jingyi that you understand no matter what you think, this shit is all real and she's not fucking crazy. It doesn't matter what you think anyway.

I should probably go on; should probably explain more; would if I could, but I'm off to work now. Maybe I'll catch you later XXX.