Chapter One
My name is Andrew Kopcek and this is a story of personal tragedy. Like many tragic tales this one started innocently. It started on the day that I turned forty years old, April 1st, three years ago. Before I tell you about the ruination that has become my life, first let me indulge myself by telling you a little about my previous life. You see, I was quite normal in all outward aspects.
I was married to a beautiful and intelligent woman, my college sweetheart. We had two wonderful children that made the both of us very proud. I was a smart and imaginative engineer that had started my own business at the age of 32 and watched it grow into a thriving enterprise of over 70 people. I was a gifted musician that could sing and play guitar. I was many things that led my friends to quip on several occasions that they were envious of my life. Mostly I was simply a nice guy.
Of course, as is the case with most lives, appearances can be deceiving. There can't be a tragedy without discord. Sometimes it is a fire in a school. Perhaps a tornado carries destruction throughout an unsuspecting trailer park. Personal tragedy is often brought about by addiction to drugs or gambling. In my case the catalyst to tragedy was sex.
You might ask yourself "How can something as wonderful and exotic as sex lead to tragedy?" Consensual sex by itself is not tragic. It is amazing and beautiful and one of the wonders of nature. However, the pursuit of sex can lead even the most level headed person to stray away from the path of sane and explicable behavior and onto a steep downhill descent into a hellish carnival of desperation and despair.
This is my story. This is my roller coaster ride into erotic hell. As with any good roller coaster, this one has grinding slow ascents that lead to inevitable mind numbing peaks and descents so rapid that they leave you gasping for air.
The twists and turns make your body and mind queasy wondering if the ride will ever end. And of course there will be places where you find yourself looking at the world from upside down. As much as you want to let go of whatever is in front of you and raise your hands in the air, you find yourself gripping even harder as the next descent takes you into inky darkness.
And finally your weary mind tells you that the only fitting end to this ride is to release the tattered and semen stained seat belt, stand up in your seat as you sense the next rapid change just ahead, and step off into the rushing oblivion that waits.
Chapter Two
My 40th birthday party was held at Longmire Country Club in downtown San Francisco. About 100 friends and relatives attended. While outwardly I appeared excited about the festivities, inwardly I was dreading attending. Most of the people that would be there were social friends that I suffered badly. My true friends were scattered around the country and had not been invited by my wife. In actuality she did not even know about most of them. I travelled a great deal for my profession and my friends were the people who understood what I did and had similar lifestyles. Namely, they were my clients and competitors.
I was slurping at my second vodka martini of the evening when my business partner Doug James made his way over to me with a familiar face in tow. Terry West was one of our best clients and a true friend. Terry was the product development VP for Luna Valley, a retail chain of upscale outdoor furniture and home furnishings. Terry was one of my very first clients.
We started working together when he was a young manager for Macy's and I was an aggressive young engineer working for Global QC Metrics. When Doug and I went out on our own Terry was the first client I contacted and provided our fledgling company our first paying work. When Terry found out that his wife had filed for divorce from their 20 year marriage two years ago, it was me that he called. I brought a bottle of vodka over to his house and we commiserated the inequities of life and drank to the mysterious pain and joy that women brought into men's lives everywhere.
I had not seen Terry in over a year as his new job had taken him to the east coast. I was amazed at the transformation that had taken him from a somewhat overweight and dour looking man into this trim and dapper guy standing in front of me. After handshakes and greetings, I expressed my heartfelt appreciation that he had made the trip from Boston to San Francisco for the party.
"I wish I could tell you it was all for you" he said, after taking a swig of his red wine. I am in town for a convention and Doug here told me that I was invited. How could I pass up the opportunity to see you join the forties club?"
I again expressed my gratitude for his coming while at the same time reminding him that he would be joining the fifties club soon.
"Age is only a number" he said with a smile and a wink.
"Yes I see that" I replied. "You actually look like you have taken a few years off since last time I saw you."
"The last time that you saw me was not a good time for me." He said, his smile faltering slightly. "But I've got my mojo back and it's amazing how a positive attitude can make you younger."
"Positive attitude?" I asked.
"Let's just say that my new attitude is out with the old, in with the new and always live in the moment." He said with a renewed smile. "I think that you could probably do with a little of that attitude yourself."
I noticed that Doug had not said a word since they had walked over, and that mostly he was focused on the gin and tonic that was nearly empty in his right hand. Doug and I had been partners for over ten years, and I do not think that any two people on earth worked as well together as Doug and I. He was the savvy marketing and sales guru and I was the technical expert with a gift for communicating with clients. Together we had created and launched our company. We worked together so seamlessly that often times it was like there was telepathy between us.
The strange thing was that as well as we worked together, our private lives were separate. He was a died-in-the-wool Christian conservative and I was a liberal intellectual. We had very little in common outside of our desire to dominate our little corner of our chosen profession.
The fact that Doug was saying nothing spoke volumes about his feelings towards Doug's transformation. As the director of the sales end of our business, Doug had a much closer look at the day to day dealings of our clients. I knew that there was something going on that made Doug feel uncomfortable.
"I was just telling Doug that games are part of my new attitude." Terry said while surveying the room.
