The first words I heard were the emanations of a woman. The flicker of my thoughts adjusted as did my eyes.
This world started upside down. My toes felt the damp cold air and the mud that stuck to them. The rush must have been the blood in my head and the thud in my heart acutely keeping time.
She had placed a hand on my knee checking for warmth, perhaps to steal, and her voice leaked down my leg into my ear like wax, a residue. It may have been the tar from her throat as I later discovered her fascination for cigarettes was strong enough to stain her teeth, sour her breath, and whither her face.
She had looked down into my whole, being the hole through me, under the floorboards at my nakedness. Her elated grin flashed stretched gray gums and let billow a cloud from the bellows of her lungs.
I was in need of repair to myself and all I could see to draw from was a dusty bag of bones not shy about my person. Maybe I was personable in that I had nothing in the way of my own person resonating in my skull. Her groping claws clutched my hip as she reached with her other hand to pull me up.
Aching joints plagued my body as I flopped out strung by her arm. Sitting up I felt those strings and ligaments that passed down my shoulders to twist my belly as nausea flooded me and my nose broke a sickly green goo, a mixture of semen snot and miscellaneous dread.
The second attacks were my bowls pushing out warm liquid past my burning anus. My body felt a grievous wound and I knew only the post effects of some trauma. She stared curling wide red nostrils and uttered some insult on my moral perpetuity of which I had no claim to.
When motioning to give a rhetorical admonition my voice was cracked and caked with the same gross fluid.
The next room had noises of quieted people, hushed tones and movement, radiating heated like the coals of a forgotten hearth. It was assessing myself and my situation that was imperative and required investigation.
Crawling was all that could be mustered and I mused and mussed at bangs looking past them for the rite in all that was wrong. Taking in the scene first through scent exposure and took the form of sweat and bodies. My sight was weak and adjusting. My ears heard a quilt of rain on the roof.
Wrenching at some form of resolve, cracked like my voice, I found the vice that kept me sane. Curiosity tripped me up weaving under me. I stayed imagining myself as corroded as the woman behind me. "Could anyone else use a leather bag or purse. I store gross and ick." The sales pitch ground out some of the revulsion I was feeling. I suppose I was the person referred to in it. It mocked me in its tone because of its sincerity, a sincerity that was only present in sarcasm.
Awkward passion undulated in front of me all the way to the exit.
A woman near to me looked at me with lazy eyes. She was drained and flicking a spent hypodermic needle with her own tightly held pony tail. Her entire person came toward me revealing bosoms and for that instant my heart heaved and receded as did she back into the shadowy sex carpet.
The moon did not show in this place only a single kerosene lamp, the oil more refined than anything I could recall. It intermingled adding to the heat of bodies, flame pulsing the humidity, burning it off.
She came back again moving to someone else, light playing over her breasts in liquid thrusts, swimming in a sewer of ecstasy. Her unoccupied hand was drawing over her belly coated in semen.
There was a man at the end of her. The thrusts were his and he was plainly visible. His penis pushed into her and I began to feel him. I found my hand at my sex, building my sex. I was here. That is to say I am a woman, like her. I started to know myself.
My clitoris was swollen and tickled at the light weight.
My clicking knuckles snapped ticking me off. There was pain as I pressed harder. My vagina trembled and I felt it in my wobbling not realizing that I had was on my knees watching instead of all fours. Tracing my fingertips across the ribbons of my labia like a kiss, my clitoris felt and drank at it choking from the sensation. I was too sensitive to sustain the masturbation. I climaxed.
First my orifices wept with the love of some distant men. I was wet. My belly scrunched. My nipples twitched. I imagined myself suffused with lamp oil capillaries screaming as I burned.
Hands gripped me. A fetid gulping pulled the oxygen away around my ears. Not even breaths of air were your own in this place. Molten grips arrested, attesting to the steal nature of him. Sinking like a spring taking his flopping penis into the crack of my ass I widened my stance muscles sucking for strength.
I pushed to stay standing as he pulled down and back. His penis was pinched and released and his hips humped me.
Hump one and his penis ballooned. Hump two and his cock was rugged. Hump three and he was putting pressure on me. I broke before the fourth and he entered me. His erection was in my rectum and my vagina quivered.
My walls were crumbling before I had built them up sufficiently. I quivered again. He pushed into me. He slid into me harder butting his hips to my back. He was so deep. I was breaking. He butt into me. I felt his scrotum. They bounced off the under side of my buttocks. I cracked and my pussy gushed. I felt like a dropped bucket. He was still at my handle and thrust more into me.
The ritual swarmed in my head and I knew I wanted the sex but was in the wrong place. I needed to find out who I was.
He thrust till he fell out of me. I don't think he could cum. He fell back to leave the embrace. The room was more translucent when viewed from the floor up.
I crawled out looking for clothes. Pants, a shirt and a long jacket suited me, and hung limp on my body like cobwebs sticky under construction by a million tiny mites.
The streets were fissured, branded, and sparkling. Glass bottle bits bounced radiation. Great glowing gas signs lettered the district so I knew where I was. The name seared into my retina yet I only loosely recognized it. I trickled through it all filtered in my meandering, wondering.
Starting to take perspective realization flooded and kneaded my brain. That idea of resurrection and reconstruction foremost in my mind.
Each step caused pain in some part of my being. This occurred to such an extent that it change from pure pain to tickled tense slow movements and back again at erratic intervals. It was lovely owing to the masochistic nature of my body.