"The boundaries which divide Life from Death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends, and where the other begins?"
-Edgar Allan Poe
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Chapter One: Halloween
The chilly fall night is dark and still when I exit the library. A few lights hover over the parking lot, but they are too dim to really make a difference. One is fading; its flickering death casts an eerie light on my parked car. Beyond that is darkness.
A chill creeps its way up my spine. My eyes dart around nervously while I make my way across the lot, beeping my car unlocked. The sound echoes, making me shiver.
I'm not normally spooked like this, or at least I wasn't a month ago before the nightmares started. Tonight is different; I fell asleep on a desk in a full library and woke up disoriented and alone. The library was deserted when I jolted awake, drooling on my text book. I was the only soul in sight with just the lonely light above, the ancient books around me, and my laptop half bent over. Its empty word document stared back at me, taunting me with evidence of my wasted night.
I knew I had the most dreadful dreams, though I couldn't remember exactly what took place. My heart thumped, my forehead was sweaty, and I didn't need a mirror to know I was completely white. The terror pooled in my stomach. I rushed out of there, a foreboding feeling of someone watching me prickling the back of my neck.
Now I can't wait to get to the car. I stop stalling, stop looking around. I point my key toward my car like its a compass--or better yet, a knife. My boots click against the pavement.
"Rosemary," someone whispers.
I snap my neck around so hard my hair slaps me in the face. The wind picks up and a sea of leaves sweep past my feet.
"Rossssssemary."
I know I should run toward my car. My feet want to go, but my mind is frozen. The rational part of my brain is telling me it's probably my boyfriend Brian messing around. Or it could be my friend Tara. She loves playing pranks on me. Something stops me, however, from calling their names. That something is telling me that this disembodied, strange voice doesn't belong to any friend of mine.
I rush toward my car. Finally I'm there, sticking the key in with shaking hands. It doesn't turn.
"Please," I beg.
I drop it. It's too dark to make out where it fell. I feel around with my hand, cringing at the sensation of wet, filthy leaves.
"Rosemary."
It's behind me now. I burst into tears when I know I can't find the key. That I won't find the key.
A freezing hand clasps my elbow. "Rosemary. Look at me."
I turn, weeping and shaking. "No, no," I plead even as I comply with the voice's instructions.
"Open your eyes," it orders.
"No!" I'm scream, frantic to keep my eyes away from whatever is torturing me. "NO!"
And then I'm screaming as I wake up, back in the library. I'm sitting at the desk; all my things are there as I left them.
"It was just a dream," I tell myself. I let myself relax a little. "Just a dream." My eyes close with relief.
Then I hear nervous laughter. My eyes snap open and I see people are staring at me. The couple a few tables down even stop making out to gawk at me.
I'm shivering and sweating. Tears still fall down my cheeks. My trembling hands run over my body, checking to make sure I'm in one piece. An old professor of mine walks by and takes in the scene.
He looks alarmed. "Rosemary, are you all right?"
"Yes." My voice is dry and still holds the remnants of my nightmare. I clear my throat and try again. "Yes. Thank you. I just had a nightmare."
He smiles unsurely and then does a quick check of my body. I notice he lingers on my breasts and I recall having an introductory lit class with him. He was a pervert then, too.
"Well, maybe you should call it a night then, hmm?"
"Yeah, right. Thank you."
I grab my shit, tossing everything in my bag, and run toward the exit without a goodbye. I don't even care how much of a mess I look right now. Running down the stairs, I pull my phone out and call Brian. He doesn't answer right away and I want to throw my phone in frustration.
Finally I hear loud music playing. "Yo."
"Brian, please. Please stay on the phone with me."
"Hold on, I can't hear you!" he calls over the stupid song blaring in the background. I hear the music fading as he makes his way to his room. "Sorry, babe, Tom has some people over."
"I can hear." I run down another flight of stairs. Thankfully there is only one more.
"What's wrong? You sound out of breath."
"I had a nightmare," I say in a small voice.
"Aw, another one? Was it the same?"
"Yeah. I almost completely turned around this time and saw it." I can finally breathe when I walk out the front doors. I run over to my car and the key works perfectly. "I just got to my car. Thanks for staying with me."
I throw my bag in and haul my body into the seat. My car turns on and I feel like I'm finally safe. I still lock my door, just to be careful.
"You coming over? You sleep better when you're with me."
My eyes roll. That's code for "come over so we can have sex". It's been nearly three weeks and I know he's getting frustrated with me. I've just been out of it; between constant nightmares and endless papers, I'm never in the mood. Brian's lucky--he has a much lighter schedule than I do. And I definitely don't sleep better in his bed. He sleeps so heavily that last time when I woke up screaming and he didn't react, I was convinced he was dead. That trauma definitely took a year or two off my life.
"I would but I have class at 9 tomorrow." That's not a lie, either.
"Rose, it's 8PM. I promise to have you in bed early." His voice is suggestive and for some reason it's a major turn-off.
"I'm really tired. I'm sorry."
He sighs into my ear. "Okay. I understand."
But he doesn't. I know he doesn't. It's just something you say. And Tara is dating his best friend and roommate Tom and he told her Brian is getting tired of having blue balls. I feel terrible but I'm too tired and worn out to do anything about it. I love him. I love the scent of his cologne, the way he burrows into me at night, the soft smile on his face when I catch him watching me. I miss him, miss being normal.
"I'm really sorry. This weekend I'll make it all up to you. It'll be worth it, I promise."
"Okay. You safe in the car?"
"Yeah, good to go."
"Love you," he says.
"Love you, too," I say back.