Maybe, because I have spent many hours on this site, maybe because of the lack of sleep, the alcohol, the pills that I take to stay awake and the pills that I take to sleep, and maybe it is all in my imagination but a strange thing happened to me when I was reading a story on Literotica.com. I wondered if the same thing has happened to anyone else.
Suddenly, my computer monitor screen went blank and turned completely white. I figured there was something terribly wrong with my monitor. Perhaps, and hopefully, it was something as simple as the plug loosened or fell out. Yeah, that's probably it. I walked around to the back of the monitor and jiggled the wire while pushing in the connections. All the connections that I checked appeared tight enough. They all looked good to me.
I didn't know what else to do. I'm no computer geek. I'm no Manu. I just write erotic stories. What do I know about computers? I turn it on, move the mouse, and depress thousands of keys on my keyboard in random order somehow producing a readable story. What else is there? What else do I need to know? I sat back down in my chair figuring that I was back in business. No dice. The screen was still completely white. Then, the screen went all black like it does when you turn the screen on before turning on the CPU. This is not good.
"What the fuck?"
I figured it was broken but the freaking thing was not even a year old. I bought it from Dell, you know, one of those new, sleek 19" flat screen panels with the high definition picture. Now, I wondered if I should have kept my old 20" Cathode ray tube monitor instead of giving it away to the Salvation Army and taking that tax deduction. Sure, the thing took up the entire desktop and weighed 50 pounds but it never failed me like this piece of shit. Now, I'm going to have to call Dell and speak to one of their customer service representatives in Bangladesh, India. This sucks. This really sucks. Fuck! I hate calling Bangladesh, India. Every time I talk to one of those guys, once I get accustomed to his accent and understand what the Hell he is saying, he asks me about America and tells me that he wants to come here one day.
"Yeah, so who Hell cares Rasheed, just fix my freaking computer." Just what we need more towel heads in America. I have nothing against Indian people or any people who want to come to America, I just don't like it when these big companies think that they can inconvenience me by making me call some foreigner in a different freaking company who may have taken my job or your job and now I have to listen to his dreams instead of him focusing on my computer problem. I'd rather speak to a customer service person in my own country.
Suddenly, an image of this Indian guy who has worked for Dell Computer and saved his Rupees tries to enter my country. Hey, is that a towel on your head or how you carry your dirty laundry? Those are the guys they need to check for weapons of mass destruction. They could hide all sorts of things in their towels. I can see the guy at customs who works in conjunction with Homeland security.
"Okay, fella, undo the towel. President Bush wants us to check if you are hiding any weapons of mass destruction."
The Indian slowly unwinds his towel and there perched upon his head is the dead body of Jimmy Hoffa. No wonder why they couldn't find him all these years. He's been hiding out on this guy's head beneath his towel.
Sorry, I digress, anyway, so back to my story, the nerve of that guy and I have a mind to tell him off. Oh, yeah, Pal? If you come here to America, you won't have a job because all the jobs are in, guess where, Bangladesh. You're better off moving to China, I wanted to tell him, because at least there, you'll be guaranteed a manufacturing job. You may only get 3 cents an hour but that 3 cents buys way more rice there than it buys here. Besides, over there, you won't need your car, just a pre-war bicycle. Oh, you don't have a car. You take the barge to work. I'd stay where you are, then. I'm pretty sure we already filled our quota of Bangladesh people this year.
Then, I heard activity on my CPU and a screen monitor appeared, you know, the one with all the fish swimming around.
"What the fuck?"
I don't even use that screensaver anymore. I stopped using that several years ago. I use a different one, the one with Leonardo Da Vinci. Once I saw the fish screen monitor was when I figured that I had a virus.
"Shit! Now what?"
I was all set to run my virus protection software, the one that is supposed to catch this shit before it breaches the firewall, and now it is too late. God damn it. Now, I'll have to call Bangladesh Dell after all.
"Shit! Fuck!"
I felt completely helpless and didn't know what else to do. I turned the thing off and on figuring that by rebooting it, that will somehow correct the problem. Next, I tried turning the power off figuring that maybe overnight some kind of electrical bug got in there. I mean, I had no idea what the Hell I was talking about or doing but it sounded good at the time.
My girlfriend, late for work, was in the bathroom blow drying her hair.
"Freddie! What did you do now?"