Laylah Yearning

3. Lady of Lust and Ruin:

I had the same nightmare again, only different.

Well, that does not make much sense. I will explain it, it is just that even now that I understand it, it frustrates me to think of my ignorance back then even now.

The monsters in the darkness swarmed me again, destroying every hole of me. The self-proclaimed lilitu was right though, this was no rape. Every nightmare had begun with me calling for them, demanding them rather. The tone of my call brooked no disagreement, it was almost as if they were bound to heed my summons. If only I had considered that mystery longer, I might have completed my conversion much sooner.

I noticed something during the manic orgy this time, I was certain it had never been there before. Between the things that surrounded me I glimpsed a light. It was difficult for me to see or focus considering what I was at the centre of, especially since my face was occupied most of the time, yet I did my best to make out further details. In this black abyss it was the first time I had ever seen any such thing.

Indeed, a shaft of silver light, like that of a full moon, pierced the dark. This lunar ray alighted on something I knew was important to me. I made out a silhouette in the light before another monster began thrusting down my throat. For a time I lost myself to the orgy again, but the light remained, as if patiently awaiting me. Once the creature's orgasm thundered through me, it left for another to take its place. Between this brief pause I focused upon the light again and made out...

I awoke and nearly screamed my frustration. I knew that light was important somehow, and I may have lost my only chance to make it out. If only I did not lose myself to those creatures so thoroughly I might have concentrated enough to learn more. Angry and aroused I rose from my bed. Despite my better judgement I would begin the lilitu's request tonight and see where it all led. She was right after all, I fled to that realm every night willingly, I wanted to leave this drab world for that one. It may be all a deception but I had little to lose.

At least, after two years stifling myself, I could let loose tonight.

******

Oh I had missed it! I cannot deny it felt good to do it again.

Wandering the back alleys in my undergarments, smiling coyly at complete strangers, luring them to me, how I missed it! The other prostitutes regarded me strangely, looks I was familiar with for they were not like me. Desperation drove most of them to the harlot's path whilst I walked it eagerly. Yet although I let my madness drive me to offer myself as a whore it was not without purpose for once. I needed what only men could give me.

It was not long before I was taking it in the ass in the back of a client's car. To have a man in me after so long felt magnificent, even if it was anal, nay it was better because of it. The supposedly taboo nature of it thrilled me all the more. The way he pounded me with wild abandon only increased my arousal. Over and over he thrust into me, until the purpose of my dalliance finally bore fruit and I felt his ejaculation. Our business done, he left me a few notes and drove off, leaving me behind. The notes were of no interest to me however.

Clutching my main prize, I made my way back to the cloister.

******

"Here." I tossed the prize to her, aiming carefully between the bars.

With a grace few mortals could muster, she caught it and raised an eyebrow. She stretched and sniffed it curiously, "What manner of vessel is this?"

I frowned then realised she had been trapped here for centuries. There was no doubt all manner of things in this world now that she was unaware of, "It's called a condom."

"A what?"

In an awkward manner, I explained its function to her, as I did so I saw her jaw drop lower and lower. "You must not use such a thing again."

I folded my arms and tried to hide my irritation, "Do you want me to get pregnant, or catch a disease?"

"You cannot get pregnant anymore and are immune now. They are mortal problems for mortals to fret over. An Ardat-Lili is a vessel for seed, not this thing." She held the condom out in disgust, "It is what will sustain your immortality, otherwise you will end up like that pitiful creature I had send you here." She referred to the late reverend mother. I was unsurprised by my inability to get pregnant, I was getting on years now. Immune to disease though? I found that hard to believe, for I still felt like a human and noticed little change in me.

I watched as she emptied the condom's contents into her mouth greedily. It turned out that the means for her to get her strength back was semen, convenient as I had to apparently whore myself as part of my conversion to Ardat-Lili.

Naturally I argued and refused at first, but now I had some form of excuse I could not help myself. Before I realised I was doing it I had sneaked out of the convent and begun playing the harlot as I did so long ago. When she finished she screwed up her beautiful face, "The essence of this seed is weak, and the amount pathetic. What did you do to get this exactly?"

I sighed and gave a brief account of my back seat liaison. The Lilitu shook her head, "How very... mundane." She tossed the now empty condom back at me, "Get that thing away from me. Laylah, you need to inspire your devotees to greater heights of perversion, it is what will enrich the essence for me. You need to collect far more than that diminutive amount also."

"Oh?" I said as I picked up the discarded rubber, "Just how am I supposed to do that? How much time do you think I have to do such things? If I am gone too long I will be missed, between creeping out of this place, getting to the nearest town, wandering the streets and creeping back in again you're lucky to get that amount. I swear if I traverse that wall again I will break something, then what will become of us?"

She tutted, which from her was an oddly heartrending sound, "You need to start thinking like an Ardat-Lili Laylah, not a mortal. Skulking and sneaking, do you do that in my realm each night? No, you order, you demand."

I shook my head and stepped back, "I think, perhaps, this was a bad idea. I'm sorry, but I cannot do this." As much as I was in love with that entity it was all beginning to overwhelm me.

"Laylah." She said my name quietly, but drew it out, her tone hinting at warning, "Do you think you can hide yourself away in this place forever? My mother despises rejection above all things. Spurn her advances at your peril."

I felt my stomach knot, "Your mother would harm me?"

"Yes, in that she will leave you and admire you from her throne no longer. You will never be hers, you will never become Ardat-Lili. Your sanity will crumble and you will be nothing more than a sex-crazed madwoman. Many have suffered such a fate." She then gave that heart-melting smile and held up her hands, "But I shall not let that happen to you my love, I just need you to trust me."

My love, she had referred to me as my love. Could this perfect thing really be in love with a lowly thing as I? As soon as she said it I was hers again. I stepped as close to the bars as I dared, "I trust you. I will do my best to get more. But getting out of here is so difficult."

She giggled and that set me to smiling also, just to see her happy, "Still thinking as a mortal. It must be those awful sermons that they bore you with, as well as that constant praying. Sit Laylah, time for a very different kind of sermon." Without hesitation I did so, curious as to what she would tell me this time, "This is not the first time I have come to this world you know. My mother has sent me here several times. I shall tell you of one of my first visits here, back when cities were still a new concept to your kind and an utterly foreign one to me!"

******

"What is lust? Do you know yet?" I asked. I wrapped an arm around her waist and drew her close to me. As always I scented her growing arousal by my touch and had to hold myself back from casting her down and ravishing her, which she was no doubt hoping I would do.

From the balcony we looked down, watching the city of Akkad spasm in its death throes. The magnificent woman beside me had brought it all about. Silili, they had hailed her as the high priestess of their goddess Inanna. Little did they realise that in her heart she belonged to my mother, the one they dubbed Lillake. Ever since she had toyed with her father and been sold as a slave to the temple my mother had taken note of her, and eventually sent me to aid her. With her speeches, actions and the aid her closest priestesses, she had treated the city like a living organism.

In doing this she had turned the city itself into an Ardat-Lili.

The king Lugal seduced, none had been able to stop her and soon the people succumbed to her seduction and influence. The people had turned depraved and mad with lust, doing things that set the other kingdoms aghast. Just like a harlot, Akkad was being threshed quite thoroughly. The gates open, the Gutian tribes had united and come from the mountains. They flooded in now and pillaged the city, no building being left untouched, nor any person for that manner. Just as she had intended.

"That question of yours has been driving me mad, but I think I have the answer now." I took my gaze from the magnificent sight below to the equally magnificent sight beside me. As I looked into her eyes I thought I could glimpse the flare of my mother there, I knew then that her conversion was at last complete. She too is Ardat-Lili now.

I could not help myself. I darted in and kissed her, my tongue flicking in to dance with hers, my fingers entering her, wanting to touch every part of her. It was a good while before I broke that embrace. Eventually, as we lay on the pillows provided, far from spent but knowing it would soon be time to leave, I pressed her, "Tell me your answer." I suspected her response would please me.

She laughed and swept an arm out to indicate the carnage below, "Is that not it? Do you know what they call Lillake when they dare mention her at all? The Lady of Lust and Ruin. I, nor anyone else, really understood why until now." She drew nearer to me and whispered in my ear, "For lust is ruin, for us it is one and the same. Lust consumes and destroys, it cares not for boundaries nor hierarchy. All crave and fear it. That is how a simple temple slave like me has managed to destroy an entire city."

I planted kisses along her neck as she said this then stood. I cast a weary glance to the priestesses who stood waiting for their leader. I could see how they longed for me, how they wished I would lay with them as I did their high priestess. They admired their high priestess also, unlike me they had known their leader intimately on several occasions when not whoring themselves at one of the 'Houses of Heaven'. I eyed them with scorn. Did they honestly think I would take them with me to our realm? That they now beheld an Ardat-Lili and lilitu together and still held that hope was laughable. As I would an ant I ignored them and held a hand to my mother's new hand maiden, "Come, time to go home. My mother awaits you. I am sure my sisters would love to meet and play before letting our brothers satiate themselves with you. "

She laughed long and lightly at that, "Those Gutian savages down there will be at the temple doors soon, I am willing to bet more than one are hoping to be in the famed 'high priestess of Inanna' before it is over. Who am I to disappoint?" She wrapped her arms around me and crushed her breasts against mine, her touch reminded me of my creator so much that I felt my loins burn for her again. She smiled at me wantonly, "Care to dally with these barbarians with me before we head on?"

I could not help but smile back and shrug, "Why not, you have an eternity ahead of you now, so why hurry?"

Arm in arm, with her priestesses in tow, we entered the temple and awaited the invaders.

******

I breathed in, "You brought about the destruction of an entire city? And you expect me to help you free yourself?"

The lilitu shrugged, "It was not me, in fact if I gave you the full story it was the city itself. Every empire is like dry kindling, it takes but a spark and it will all go up in flames."

I considered this, I did not need to be a historical expert to know that there was some truth to that. No empire has lasted forever, nor shall the current ones. "What of Silili?"

"She is Ardat-Lili. I took her to my realm where she now resides, probably fucking one of my sisters or brothers as we speak, if not tending to my mother." She rose and stretched languorously, likely knowing it would have me craving her all the more, "Best be off now. You have a lot more cock to drain before your conversion is complete, I want to hear no more excuses."

I bit back a retort, knowing it would get me nowhere. I wanted to stay with her but knew the others would awake and begin the morning prayers soon. Besides, gazing at her behind bars was not enough, I wanted to touch her, hold her, be hers utterly.

To do that I would have to creep out again.

4. The Harlot Empress:

"You look weary Sister Luci, have a seat."

Muriel indicated the chair opposite her desk.

Noone had elected Muriel to the position of reverend mother, but no one had voiced against it either. Upon the previous reverend mother's death Muriel had silently taken on all the tasks and duties left behind. The only reason everyone accepted this was because no one else wanted the responsibility. She was certainly not like her predecessor. Muriel was far more business-like in her mannerisms. Where before the reverend mother would discuss matters whilst walking the gardens or over tea, here I was looking at Muriel over a desk like some sort of job interview. "You summoned me?" I could not keep the disdain from my voice.

She was not wrong though, I was weary.

That previous night I had woken from my recurring dream. For a second before I woke, I saw what was in the lunar ray. It fell as though purposely to alight an onyx throne at the far end. As masterful as this throne was, it was but a poor shadow to the beauty sat naked upon it. Statue still she regarded me, she did not even seem to breathe. Her malachite eyes regarded me coldly, with disinterest, perhaps with boredom. I awoke full of lust and despair. That woman was beautiful, the very epitome of harlotry, and she was utterly unimpressed with me. But why? Was the way I gave myself to those monsters not enough?

Frustrated and in need, I found myself creeping from the cloister again. Remembering the lilitu's words I declined the use of condoms. This scared some away whilst it attracted others. Acutely aware of how much time I had until morning I took them into me one after another. As soon as I felt their ejaculation I would shoo them off and seek the next. It was not until one client flooded my mouth with his seed that I realised I had no means of collecting it.

I was tempted to swallow it, unlike most of the whores there the taste aroused me further. Quickly scanning the alley I noted a discarded plastic bottle. I quickly grabbed it and spat the contents into it. I then retreated to a niche and collected what I could of the semen still in my womb and rectum. I tore away the bottle's label and inspected the fruits of my efforts. I was certain the lilitu would be better pleased this time, I must have had semen from over half a dozen clients. I had also earned a respectable amount of money, yet I had no interest in it. I threw the notes in the nearest bin whenever I was given them. I wanted to continue but knew my time was up.

I made my way back to the cloister and carefully got back to my quarters. I had no time to visit the lilitu with my earnings. The sisters would begin waking and preparing for morning prayers at any moment. I put the bottle under my bed and donned my habit in time for the bell to chime. I sleepily went through the litanies and made to join the other sisters when Muriel called for me to see her privately.

So I sat before her, tired, my holes aching whilst demanding more, stinking of my exertions and the sweat of the men who had been in me. I could only hope Muriel would not suspect anything. She regarded me sourly like usual, "You are due to take your vows soon, to become a full nun of this order. Let me be clear, I do not believe you belong here. I do not think you have fully embraced the lord. Instead this is merely a hiding place for you, to hide from whatever led you here. The previous reverend mother may have stood for it, but I do not."

"Are you expelling me?" I felt panic rise in me. If I was kicked out getting to the lilitu would be much harder, plus I had nowhere to go. Of course I could get by through prostituting myself, but without the lilitu's guidance I may never become Ardat-Lili and end up losing my mind utterly.

Muriel took a deep breath, "I would like to, but no, since you have done nothing as yet to warrant it. But know that I am watching you closely. I am going to put off your vows for another year until I am more certain of you." She leaned forwards, "I cannot help but wonder, just what did the reverend mother say to you before she leapt from the window? Yes, you claim she babbled the same nonsense but I find it hard to believe, she was so determined to see you after all."

I shrugged, "I have nothing more to offer, that is what happened."

Muriel sighed, clearly believing none of it, then stood, "Very well, that will be all Sister Luci, go break your fast."

I rose, aware now that if she ever discovered what I got up to during the night that it would be over for me. I saw her smug face and felt my irritation rise. I had no doubt she would make the next year for me as unpleasant as possible. All because, deep down, she was envious of me.

Something strange happened to me then.

I let out an involuntary gasp as something akin to an orgasm rippled through me. My body felt warm, uncomfortably so. The habit I wore suddenly seemed grotesque me and I almost began tearing it from myself. Then I looked to Muriel, who regarded me in confusion. I had an overwhelming urge to fuck her, to rip her garments away and fuck her until she broke. Lust and hatred mingled as one and nearly had me on her, clawing at her and raping her.

For a moment, my senses were enhanced. I could read Muriel's confusion on her face, I could smell the arousal between her legs for me, brought about by my changed aura. I could hear the change in her breathing and heartbeat. Influenced by my presence, she wanted me to set upon her, to break her utterly with my lust.

As swiftly as it came, the feeling passed. Awkwardly, I left the room and fled down the stairs. At the bottom I leaned against the wall to catch my breath and looked at my hands. What am I turning into exactly? What is happening to me?

******

"Not as fresh as I would like, but better than nothing." The lilitu, after eyeing the plastic bottle suspiciously, probably wondering what it is, drank the seed I collected. She seemed to let it linger on her palette and gave a purr of delight, "I can taste you amongst their offerings, your taste is exquisite. The essence is far better than last time, not to an Ardat-Lili's standards though."

I frowned, "I must have had eight or so men in me last night, how can that not be enough?" I shook my head and wearily sat down, the lack of sleep catching up with me. I had made it back to the lilitu as soon as I was sure the others were asleep. "I had no more time to get more. It is that or nothing."

"Still thinking as a mortal." She sighed as she playfully threw the bottle back at me.

I bit my lip, "Yes and no." I then explained the sensation I felt with Muriel, how I was on the verge of fucking her violently.