My tutors told me I would need an infinite amount of patience. I was to bide my time considering the endless permutations and means by which suffering can be inflicted. It is easy to hurt, to destroy; pain resulting from physical intervention barely scratched at the surface of suffering. It was unpleasant for the humans; they usually died. Humans rarely experienced true suffering. Few of their kind ever transcended the thresholds of pain to experience the pure and exquisite ecstasy of the soul true suffering imparted. Most are too fragile to begin that journey. They crumble like a decomposed stalk, unable to take even the first step on the path to immortal ecstasy.
I am the initiator, designated by my tutor to bring a soul into our rarefied community. I cannot pass the portals to complete immortality until I fulfil this task. Even immortals require sustenance. We feed on the depraved thoughts of others. Over time we exhaust the infinite possibilities of depravity that exist within our kind, we need new souls to renew and revitalise our ecstasy. Human souls, my ancestors learnt, have a unique capacity for depravity across many aspects of their existence. Humans succeeded in devising new extremes of degradation. They were the choicest of morsels. So difficult to reach and extract the tortured soul intact from its mortal frame, so difficult to impart the ecstasy of suffering before terror imploded upon their soul.
I have been patient. I have waited thirteen long years. I hunger to feast with my ancestors. My tutors have told me a myriad of souls await my pleasure. I can slate my hunger in the hall of my ancestors, they will feed me with their desires, as surely as I will bring to them the fresh sustenance of my wretched soul borne ecstatically on a crest of lustful desire when torn from my human form.
Each immortal is marked by its predilection. My own is carnal, a depravity I barely acknowledged in my human life. My tutor has told me carnally depraved humans possess the easiest of souls to remove. They are willing to make the sacrifice to achieve immortal ecstasy; it requires practice, is all, to steal their soul at just the right moment. There must be no hint of what is to happen, they have to willingly surrender, desiring ever increasing sexual stimulation until their body is no longer under control and their soul soars on wave after wave of lust, limbs trembling, fluids leaking, mind reeling with a desire never to stop the intensity of the orgasm.
I've practiced; I did not succeed. 'You were too intent on your own pleasure', my tutor admonished, 'your purpose is to give pleasure. You must find souls who conceal their depravity. Remember your own initiation. Remember your fantasies, the way you touched yourself. I know everything about you. I initiated you. Find me a soul like that; the depraved innocent is the sweetest of feasts. Then you can join me in our hall and I will consume you and inflame you more than you can believe possible. I have seen into the darkest recesses of your soul, you crave pleasures upon which you cannot bear to dwell. Find me an innocent and I will release your depravity upon you in incandescent fury.'
My tutor instructed me to recall my transition into this world. I often relive the experience. It sustains me better than the meagre practice attempts I'd made to initiate others.