Hepzibah, a harpy with a magical amulet that made her appear like an emaciated human woman, lay on my friend Monday's bed caressing an egg that was about the size of a volleyball.
I turned to Monday. "Damnit, Monday, I told you to wrap it up!"
He looked back at me, eyes wide. "My girlfriend just laid an egg, and you're going on about safe sex?!"
---
Seven weeks ago...
After Monday got out of the hospital, he picked up the antibiotics he had been prescribed to fight the strangely powerful infection he had developed from the slashes Hepzibah's sharp fingernails had left on his chest. Then he headed home.
As he started Fortnite up on his Switch, his mind wandered back to a few days previous. Hepzibah was unlike any woman he had ever met before; she had been like a wild animal! Tommy had tried to cock block him, but seemed more concerned than proprietary. He had that other chick with him, which Monday assumed was his girlfriend or whatever, so it didn't seem like Tommy wanted Hepzibah for himself.
Unless he wanted a harem of beauties! Wouldn't that be just like Tommy? Monday chuckled. That fuckin' guy.
As he died again ("Fuckin' hax!" he yelled at the screen), he tossed the controller down onto the coffee table.
Scritch scratch.
He looked toward the window. Through the light of the setting sun he could see that something was out there! He went to it.
Hepzibah was looking back at him through the grimy glass, a toothy grin on her face.
"Shit!" He quickly opened the window and let her in. "How'd you get out there? I'm on the fourth floor!"
"Mon-day!" She said in her harsh voice as he closed the window and turned to her. She was right in front of him now, sniffing. She nibbled her lower lip, the universal sign of sexual excitement as she looked up at him.
He looked at her. Bit of a butterface ("everything looks good but-her-face"), wearing that same ratty t-shirt and jeans from a few days ago. She was super slim, almost emaciated, which was a look he favored since he had lost his virginity to that homeless lady shortly after turning 18.
"Okay, babe, to my bedroom, but you gotta not be so...energetic, okay?"
"Heh heh..." she cackled as she practically flew through the bedroom door, her feet barely touching the floor along the way.
He took off his shirt as he entered the room. Hepzibah was already naked, her boobs dangling as she moved forward to touch the bandages on his chest. She cooed in a concerned fashion.
He unfastened his belt. "I'm okay, but like I said, take it easy, yeah?"
As he dropped trou, Hepzibah moved forward to grasp his hard cock, which a previous lover had described as like a Red Bull can, thick but not too long. Monday rummaged through a side table as she stroked him.
"Ha!" he exclaimed as he pulled out a condom and unwrapped it. "Whoa!"
Hepzibah had shoved him back onto his bed and clambered up on top of him.
"Just lemme...there!" He snapped the rubber around his cock head and rolled it down the shaft. Hepzibah moved his hands aside and grabbed his sheathed cock, directing it to her sloppy pussy lips. As she sank down on him he sighed and she made strange bird-like noises. She really was an odd duck, Monday thought.
She had some trouble getting him all the way inside her, but once she did she crowed, pulled up, and then slammed back down on him.
