This is a Winter Holiday contest story. Too many readers don't vote. Please vote. I need the support of your vote.
This is a Winter Holiday contest story. Too many readers don't vote. Please vote. I need the support of your vote.
*
A man picks up a woman in a bar who turns out to be a vampire.
*
Because I live alone and, usually, am so sexually frustratingly lonely, the period from Thanksgiving through to the New Year's holidays are always more problematic for me. To be honest, torturously depressing and aggravatingly annoying are more the descriptive words for how I feel during those six weeks. I avoid the bustling crowds, shopping malls, and supermarkets by buying whatever I can ahead of time and freezing it. Instead of having to put up with long lines of people, who are just as impatient and frazzled as I am, I'd rather run out to a convenience store for whatever I need.
Having grown up in an orphanage, I never believed in Santa Claus. The way that I figured it was, if there was a Santa Claus, he would have gotten me out of that Hell hole by finding someone to adopt me, but he didn't and no one did. Having never known my parents, I've spent my whole life looking for love and only finding sex. Now, unfortunately, unable to tell the difference between good sex and true love, nonetheless, having sex with an endless procession of women has served me well.
Never having received any toys for Christmas as a child, other than the few trinkets that they gave us at the orphanage, and never having had children of my own, as an adult, I've grown to hate kids. I hate hearing Christmas music. I hate the cold, the ice, and the wind. I hate snow. I swear, if I hear Jose Feliciano sing Feliz Navidad, one more time, I'll kill someone. And don't get me started on Burl Ives singing Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer.
Not having anyone special in my life, because I'm so depressed anyway, I usually drink more during that time. Other than to watch sports on television, what else is there to do but to drink? Actually, now that I think more about it, I don't need a reason to drink. I'm a drunk and drinking is what I do from the time that I wake up to the time that I go to bed. Nonetheless, unless I get lucky with some woman, having no one to celebrate the Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year holidays with, I usually hang out at the bar and celebrate the holidays with my drinking buddies.
Being that we're just drinking buddies, we don't buy one another gifts, per se, we buy one another drinks. Even though we're all in the same boat, alone and lonely, we still manage to have a good time talking, laughing, and drinking. Only, as soon as I entered the place, Christmas music hit me in the face like a cold shower. Then, when Jose Feliciano came on the radio and started singing, Feliz Navidad, I was about to yell to Dave, the bartender, to turn that shit off and put on the football game, when I noticed her. There sitting alone at the end of the bar was an unfamiliar face, a beautiful face, if ever I saw one. Someone new, it's always exciting to find fresh meat to hopefully hit on and to make a love connection. Only...
I didn't know she was a vampire. C'mon, seriously, how was I to know she's a vampire? I didn't even know that vampires existed. Even if vampires exist, which I know now that they exist, I'd never think that a vampire looked anything like her. Besides, what are the odds of a vampire coming to my small town and hanging out at my drinking hole? Except for the cape that she wasn't wearing, the huge fangs she didn't have, and the pallor of her skin, she was tanned, what does a vampire even look like? Other than on TV or in the movies, I've never seen one to know.
She looked like a normal, albeit beautiful woman to me. In hindsight, except for the tattoo on her leg, her arm, and her shoulder, and except for the big colorful tattoo above her butt crack, she looked like the typical woman hanging around a bar, while waiting for an interested and interesting man to buy her a drink. Yet, a lot of women are tattooed today, albeit admittedly not with tattoos of the Devil. Moreover, most tattooed women aren't vampires.
To be honest, as if she was a shining star, mesmerized by the pretty sight of her, I didn't even notice her tattoos, that is, until I started talking to her and until I thought I was going to get lucky. Before I even had a drink and before I was even tipsy, then when every women suddenly becomes the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, she was the most beautiful woman I ever saw in my life. Once I noticed her tattoos, I used them as a lead in and asked her about them to make conversation.
I figured for her to have so many tattoos that tattoos were important to her. Maybe she's a tattoo artist. I never had sex with an artist before, a tattoo artist or any artist at all. Oh, yeah, in the way that I'd love to tattoo her, if you know what I mean, I'd let her tattoo me.
"Merry Christmas," I said. "Nice tats."
"Merry Christmas to you, too. Thank you," she said looking down at the tattoo on her arm, before looking up at me, while I looked at the exposed cleavage of her abundant breasts. "I just love this song. I love Jose Feliciano."
"Me too," I said cracking a smile to lie through my teeth. "I love Christmas music. The only way today could be any more perfect is if Santa was to make an appearance and if it started snowing."
"Yeah, Santa's a cool dude," she said. "I love kids, but I could never have any."
"I don't have any kids either," I said. "I was an orphan."
Yet, as soon as I told her that I was an orphan, I wondered why I said that. Perhaps, because she admitted that she loved kids and confessed that she couldn't have any. Yet, what does being an orphan have to do with not having kids. Whatever was the connection, it eluded me.
"Me, too. I was an orphan, too," she said with a sad smile.
Bingo! That's a real connection. I was in now. She sized me up with a curious look, before giving me a go ahead smile. Merry Christmas to me. Oh, boy, this could be my lucky day.