"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Remember when Brent Hardy...Kandahardy..." Erin Parrish snorts her beer, forcing her to pause and react to wipe her nose with her hand before finishing the related trip down memory lane, "...got his Humvee stuck in the sand and had to have like five camels pull him out?"
"Oh Lordy! Yes... he was ridiculed for months. His unit was so cruel." the lovely Kyra Whimsey chuckled between taking a hit on her rolled joint and choking over it, "Guys used to act like they were humping his Humvee after that, always asking him if it was Wednesday."
"And asking him if he needed a camel tow." She busted up, "I wonder what Brent's doing now that he's out?"
"Demolition crew I heard, somewhere in Texas."
"Turban renewal?" Erin giggled, "That was bad even for me." It was indeed, without her even knowing Erin's necklace twinkled as it seldom did when reacting to something it obviously wasn't happy about. At her feet the poodle Cotton, belonging to the deceased Brimley Stone cocked its head at spotting it's seemingly lifeless revival. As fast as the gem lit up it faded away before any other notice. At least of the living kind. Seven of the twelve young men who resided in this old home since it was erected back in the 1700's were quite aware of the unusual phenomenon. It took seven to know one.
"Funny but sooo wrong." Kyra waved the puff of smoke from her face. As if coming to her aid a gloved hand assisted her as she choked again. Two hands actually, one fanning the smoke, and another to pat her back caringly. Seeing and feeling the touch of ghosts was making her edgy, the weed was not helping. "Something just touched me." She jumped forward in her seated position on the antique sofa left by the prior owners. A glove hovering toward her back waved at her with a friendly demeanor. "Why are we getting stoned and drunk out of our minds in a haunted house? Erin this is nuts."
"Isn't it?" Erin laughed and reached for Kyra's bare knee, wearing shorts to help distill the warm weather even at night. "Bitch you need to shave your legs. I nearly got a playpercut." Kyra merely winced at her goofiness.
"I haven't had time to. I've been helping my Pop redo the kitchen. Since I've been back home, we've been trying to spend quality time together. Although, he says I'm in his way and need to find me a man. He just wants grandbabies before my biological clock stops tickling. Shit! Sore subject... you must really miss your dad."
"Right outside remember?" Erin pointed with her hitchhiking thumb. Scooby Boo staring at them through the screen door while seated out in the yard. "I get it Kyra; it's taken time for me to get used to things around here too. The boys are good to me though. They clean house and everything. Once they get used to more modern conveniences like a dust buster and a real vacuum cleaner things will be even better. They actually like it when I appoint chores for them to do."
"I will never get used to... " Her eyes flare as hands grip her shoulders and begin massaging them. "... Oh, my gawd! They rub shoulders?"
"Body massages are even better. Don't get me started on the sex. HOLY FUCK It's amazing."
"Erin... that's just morbid. Fucking the dead?"
"No, the dead is fucking me. I'm alive still remember. Don't knock it until you try it."
"Not going to happen. Sorry... um... guys?" She flared her eyes darting them about without moving her head. "No offense! Even though the massage is... " Gloved hands standing before Kyra Renee swoop low, plucking up her feet to take her shoes off. Strong yet invisible hands, although covered in latex begin rubbing her soles until she relaxes. "Now that I'll allow." A sudden sensation of a warm mouth around her toes results in flaring eyes and whimpers. "Is someone... sucking my toes?"
"Get used to it! They can't get enough of pampering me. I'm surprised they're taking to you so quickly. They were raised to... think whites were superior. Ginevieve was racist, owning dozens upon dozens of slaves to work for her. The boys didn't know any differently but with me here I think they understand right from wrong better." A sudden piano playing from upstairs paused their party with a woman's scream attached to the notes. Wincing at it as it effected their nerves Erin frowned and used a pinky to clear out her ear after the piercing noise subsided. "Speak of the lady, she tells you how it is... was. QUIET DOWN GINEVIEVE BEFORE I HAVE THAT PIANO HAULED AWAY." Dead silence now Erin grinned. "She's learning. Hey Amos? Are you here?"
A hand to her left raises and shows her his sharpie written name on his rubber glove. "Amos? Go get a big bowl of water and two of my pink plastic razors from my bathroom upstairs." Lester joined him as two pairs of gloves bumped fists just as Erin had shown them. Footsteps rushing up the stairs became rather spooky. Cotton even yipped at their hurried departure then barked toward the opened front door. "You want to go outside and be with mommy?"
Erin stood up and coaxed the poodle to the screen door. Looking out at Scooby Boo who sat with Erin's father's ghost inside him, the poodle wagged it's tiny, cropped tail. Once let out Cotton's eyes turned as white as his fur, reunited with his own Mistress Brimley who was prowling the grounds, unable to enter the house herself due to some mystical barrier. "We'll figure that out one of these days so you two can come in out of the rain." Not that a ghost felt the precipitation when it did rain. Clear night tonight, however. "Stand guard soldiers!" A paw rising from Scooby Boo looked exactly as if her father was saluting her. To comically cute he really did go out of his way to mimic the Hanna-Barbara pooch. Even in appetite, she had already gone through half a huge bag of dry dog food between the two dogs.
"Erin? Why are you telling ghosts to go get razors? All I can envision now is being carved up."
