Crazy Cornelius & the Magic Pills

INTRODUCTION & DISCLAIMER - Now that the dysfunctional Hawkins family along with youngest daughter Erica's boyfriend Gavin have fled their house after it was overtaken with terrifying demonic and alien activity, can they keep one step ahead of their supernatural foes in a thrilling chase through Sydney and into regional New South Wales? Read Chapter 4 of this twisted road trip tale to find out.

Please note the strong themes of the story, which include scenes with female characters using the toilet and having their periods, which may not be for everyone. All characters and events are fictional, with similarity to real persons living or dead coincidental and unintentional. Please enjoy, and rate and comment.

*

Alistair and Danielle's journey out of Sydney's northern suburbs and towards the city was hampered by the morning peak hour traffic. There were thousands of people travelling to work, university and school, plus buses, trucks and commercial vehicles. All of these drivers seemed oblivious to the urgency of the Hawkins family to escape their unworldly pursuers, and Alistair and Danielle had to weave through plenty of slower vehicles.

Getting onto the Sydney Harbour Bridge, Alistair glanced into the back of the car. "Erica and Gavin, keep a watch out for dangers on the water," he said.

Erica looked out the left of the vehicle towards Point Kirribilli, but there was nothing out of place, just a yacht and two ferries heading out to Taronga and Manly. Gavin kept a close watch out the right side towards Goat Island, but fortunately there were no UFOs, ghosts or monsters to be seen, and with Danielle right behind him Alistair was able to negotiate the busy Harbour Bridge traffic before exiting and driving to Bennelong Point, and the Sydney Opera House.

Alistair and Danielle stopped their cars, and the six of them piled out. "I thought it best to bring us to a place where there's more people so we can work out our next move, the aliens might want to avoid being seen," said Alistair.

"We need to get out of town," said Faye.

"Yes, but we need to make sure we stay one step ahead of the aliens and demons in case they set traps to capture us," said Alistair. He looked around, first up at the ornate Sydney Opera House and then at the tall buildings on the city skyline and shook his head.

"Maybe this wasn't such a good spot after all," he said.

"Why is that?" Faye asked.

Alistair pointed at the opera house. "Is there any other building in the world that looks like the Sydney Opera House? No. That means it might be of alien design, and therefore aliens inhabiting it."

The other five members of the party also looked at the building and realized Alistair was quite right. Alistair then pointed at the taller structures in the CBD -- the distinctive Sydney Tower with its skinny structure and circular observation deck high above the city streets, the white octagonal skyscraper at 25 Martin Place and Sydney's tallest office building, the blue and grey Chifley Tower with a triangular turret on the roof.

"The aliens could be on top of those buildings or any others watching and listening to us," Alistair pointed out. "We need to get out of range of those buildings and away from here before they find us."

"Dad, I think we might be a little too late," said Erica, the young girl nervously pointing at the sparkling blue waters of Sydney Harbour.

Her family and boyfriend looked and stood amazed at the sight on the water. Coming towards the Harbour Bridge was a ship, which wasn't unusual, cruise ships and other vessels docked at Circular Quay all the time. But this ship was unusual -- a large passenger liner with four towering funnels and even taller forward and aft masts -- and having seen the popular movie released towards the end of last year and still in cinemas by autumn several times -- Erica did not even have to read the nameplate 'Titanic' on the ship's portside bow to identify it.

With open mouths, they observed the Titanic steam by, although other passers-by at the Opera House seemed oblivious to presence of an ocean liner that sank in the North Atlantic 86 years earlier steaming through Sydney Harbour. And the Titanic was not alone. Above it, well out of range of the smoke that poured from three of the Titanic's four stacks, was an aircraft.

It was definitely not a UFO like the ones they had seen earlier, but regardless an aircraft definitely out of place. It was an airship, a large silver airship with a swastika on its tailfin and its name -- Hindenburg -- prominent on its side. The motors of the airship contained with the unfamiliar sounds of a steamship made for quite a racket, but again the other people seemed not to notice or care that a ship and an airship lost since 1912 and 1937 respectively were in Sydney Harbour. Nobody could be observed on the airship, but the decks of the Titanic were filled with passengers and crew in Edwardian era clothes.

"This is much worse than I thought," said Alistair. "We are dealing with far more powerful aliens than we could ever conceive, if they can go through time and bring back a ship and an airship that were destroyed years ago, think what else they are capable of doing. Let's get out of here and fast."

"Where are we going?" Danielle asked.

Alistair, conscious that there could be spies or demons around helping the aliens, leaned over and whispered, "Bondi Beach, follow me," into his daughter-in-law's ear.

Danielle nodded, understanding that it was very important that the aliens nor their allies the demons not overhear them.

As she climbed into her father's car, Erica read the words 'Titanic' and 'Liverpool' on the ship's stern as it steamed under the Sydney Harbour Bridge, sounding its horn and whistles, while the Hindenburg flew over the top. Alistair raced no time in racing away from the scene, Danielle right behind him.

The two cars made their way through Sydney's exclusive Eastern suburbs -- Rushcutters Bay, Double Bay and Rose Bay -- and into the Waverley area and Sydney's famed Bondi Beach, which was now less crowded than earlier, with most of the early morning beachgoers having gone to work by this time.

Alistair and Danielle parked their cars, and everybody got out. The tall buildings of the Sydney CBD were visible in the background, but hopefully far enough away to avoid the alien spies who might be watching and listening to them in the city.

"Now, we need to make an excuse as to why we're not at work today and maybe not back next week," said Alistair. "They will be wondering where we are, and we need to make it sound as though we're a long way away. We need to be convincing. Come on, ideas, ideas!"

"Alistair, how about my sister in Adelaide?" suggested Faye. "Perhaps we could say that Angela suffered a stroke, and we're flying out to South Australia to be with her, taking Erica with us?"

Alistair nodded and stroked his beard. "Yes, that would cover you, me and Erica." He turned to Cornelius and Danielle. "What about you two?"

"I was going to just call in sick," said Danielle. "I'm a relief teacher anyway. And Cornelius doesn't have a job, so he doesn't need to call anyone."

Alistair shook his head. "No Danielle, that wouldn't work at all. People need to think we've left town, and therefore if the aliens send around their agents or the police they've paid off to find us, they'll think we've gone interstate." Alistair glared at his son. "What about you? Have you come up with any great ideas, Cornelius?"

"Nuh," grunted Cornelius.

"I thought as much, that's why you're useless Cornelius," said Alistair. "Fuck, aliens are after us and you can't think of any reason why you might be out of town."

Erica spoke up. "How about Cornelius and Danielle going to the Gold Coast?"

"The Gold Coast?" grumbled Cornelius. "Erica, that's stupid why would I be on the Gold Coast?"

"What were you doing on the Gold Coast that time when I had to spend all that money to bring you back?" growled Alistair, to which Cornelius looked sheepish. "Go on Erica."

"Cornelius is a clown," said Erica. "What if he went up there for a job interview, you know to work as a clown at one of the theme parks? And Danielle went with him to support him, and to be his assistant when he was showing his magic tricks in an audition?"

"That sounds pretty reasonable," said Alistair. "We'll go with that."

"How about me?" Gavin asked. "I wouldn't have gone to Adelaide or to the Gold Coast."

"No chance you would head to Melbourne for any reason?" Alistair asked.

"None at all," Gavin said. He then thought. "There was a camping trip in two weeks' time with some of the guys, we were going up the Colo River for the weekend. I could tell my sister that I got the dates wrong and that we're going today instead."

"That sounds fine," said Alistair. "Tell your sister that."

Gavin's face clouded over again. "Lisa seemed a bit suspicious this morning that something was wrong. What if she doesn't buy it? Then there's my boss, I'm supposed to be working at the supermarket most of the day. I can't tell them that I can't come to work because I'm going camping."

"You'd better make sure Lisa believes you," said Alistair solemnly. "Don't let on that anything's funny going on, if she doesn't know anything then she's safe. If not, the aliens or the demons will come for her too. And as for your boss, just call in tomorrow and pretend to be sick. You wouldn't be the first young guy to chuck a sickie to go camping with his mates."

"Right Mr. Hawkins," said Gavin. "Lisa's at work at the moment, so I'll have to call her later when she's on her break."

"Now, keep watch while we make the calls," said Alistair to Gavin and Cornelius, the others moving to a phone box.

Alistair himself was today supposed to be heading with his team to some high rise commercial buildings in Chatswood, which were much easier jobs than the ones in previous days plus he didn't have to drive through the busy city traffic. He regretted not being able to go to work today, but there wasn't much he could do about it now aliens were after him and his family.

After calling the office and spinning the tale of him and his wife and daughter having to rush to Adelaide at short notice after his wife's sister had a massive stroke overnight, Alistair vacated the phone box and Faye rang her employer and told the same story. Erica rang the sandwich shop where she was supposed to be working tomorrow and let them know about having to rush to Adelaide and apologizing for not being able to take her shift for Saturday. She also rang one of the girls from university with whom she and Gavin were working on a group assignment, saying that she would be away at least several days in South Australia, so as not to rouse suspicions by her absence from university.

"Very good, Erica," said Faye, pleased that her daughter had been convincing.

Danielle picked up the phone and called the school she where was supposed to be working, giving a somewhat vague explanation that her husband had to go to the Gold Coast at short notice for urgent business, and she needed to go with him to support him, and giving her apologies for not coming to work.

Cornelius and Gavin, standing guard and watching intently for anything alien, demonic or supernatural had so far seen nothing, but as Danielle finished Gavin's eyes picked up something silver in the skies. "Mr. Hawkins, I think there's another UFO," he said, pointing at it.

Alistair looked at the UFO. It was silver in color but was a long distance away, so far that it wasn't making any noise. "That spaceship's way beyond the city and probably out near Botany Bay, but if it comes towards us then we'll have to go," said Alistair.

Gavin intently watched the UFO as it continued to circle around the Botany Bay area, but got no closer than about Newtown so it probably didn't pose any immediate threat.

"Now, we need to get out of the city," said Alistair. "But we need to take care of a few things first. Like money, we need cash for the trip. If we use EFTPOS or credit cards, then the aliens and demons will track us. Faye, get the cheque book and write out a cheque for a thousand cash. Then we'll cash it."

"Yes Alistair," said Faye, taking the cheque book and writing out a cheque payable to cash, she and her husband both signing it.

"Mum, Dad, they can trace cheques too," said the worried Erica.

"True, but it's less risk than leaving an EFTPOS trail or using credit cards," said Alistair. "And we need cash to cover our journey."

"So, where are we going?" Faye asked. "Interstate? Can we drive to Victoria, or up to Queensland?"

Alistair shook his head. "No. The aliens have probably already thought about that. They will have contacted the police, and the police will already be setting up roadblocks at Tweed and Coolangatta on the New South Wales -- Queensland border to capture us, and at the Murray River if we tried to cross into Victoria at Albury and Wodonga. It would be the same thing at Mildura and Swan Hill. Even if we went into the outback and tried to get into South Australia its way too far and the Broken Hill police will have shut off the border by the time we make it out there."

"What do you suggest then, Alistair?" Danielle asked.

"We'll go back south of the city and cash the cheque," said Alistair. "That way, if we are being tracked, they'll think we're going south. If we cash it at the Chatswood, Ryde or Willoughby branches, they will know we went north. But we'll turn back and head north."

Faye nodded. "That sounds sensible."

While Gavin continued to watch the far-away UFO, Cornelius was looking to the north, and froze as he saw something out of place. "Um, you guys need to take a look at this," he said.

Everyone else looked at what Cornelius was indicating, and froze with dismay. Coming along a path near the beach was a hippopotamus. Only it was not an ordinary hippopotamus, it walked upright on two legs and wore clothes, an enormous flowery mu-mu dress and a large straw sun hat. It also carried a handbag and walked on leads two ferocious looking canines. An ordinary observer might think that the dogs walked by the hippopotamus were German Shepherds, but the Hawkins family and Gavin were not fooled. These were not ordinary dogs, they were werewolves.

"Quick, look away, don't make direct eye contact with the hippopotamus or the werewolves," urged Alistair, the others quickly complying with the directions.

"Why did they send werewolves?" the frightened Erica lamented.

"Maybe they're trying to track our scent?" Gavin suggested. "Werewolves can track even the slightest drop of blood."

"Shit, I've got my period," said Danielle.

"Are you wearing a pad or a tampon?" Faye asked.

"A pad, I rarely use tampons," said Danielle.

"Well, you'll need to wear a tampon now," said Faye. "We can't risk the werewolves picking up the smell of your menses on your napkin. We'll never lose them."

"I don't have any tampons with me, I only brought pads," said Danielle. She looked at her mother-in-law and sister-in-law. "You don't have any tampons on you?"

Erica shook her head. "Sorry, I always use pads."

"I only wear pads too," said Faye. She pointed at a small convenience store across the road. "You'll need to get some tampons, Danielle."

Her daughter-in-law nodded, and reached for her purse. Cornelius kept a watch on the hippopotamus and the werewolves. They had seemed not to notice the Hawkins family and the hippo was standing near a light pole, the werewolves sniffing around the base and the ground.

"I think we're okay for now, but you need to hurry," he warned his wife, who dashed across a road so far that a car had to brake to avoid hitting her, the driver beeping and cursing the girl with untidy blonde hair who had not bothered to look both ways before crossing the street.

Bursting into the shop, Danielle ran for the feminine hygiene products section and grabbed a box of super-absorbent tampons from the shelf. There was a bit of a queue -- mostly older men - for the one checkout staffed by a middle-aged woman, and Danielle didn't have time for this.

"I'm next," said Danielle, pushing in front of the line to the irritation of the men waiting and thrusting ten dollars at the cashier. Hearing the dissent of some of the men waiting, Danielle showed her tampons to them. "Women's problems, period emergency," she declared, which shut them up.

Grabbing her change, Danielle hurried out and made for the toilet block near where the others were waiting for her. Knowing the smell of blood in her period pad would attract the werewolves, Danielle watched for them but they and the hippo walking them were still in the area, so they still presented a danger. However, as Danielle approached the female toilets there was even greater danger lurking, and she hastily backed away to where the others waited, clutching the tampons.

Faye was impatient. "Danielle, come on we don't have all day."

"Um Faye, I can't go in there," said Danielle, pointing nervously in the direction of the toilet block. "There's a monster."

"Monster, what monster, oh that monster, oh shit!" said Faye.

Everyone looked to where Danielle was pointing and visibly jumped as they took in the sight of the monster. It stood some seven feet tall, with a large mouth full of razor-sharp teeth, shaggy purple fur all over its body and two large turquoise horns protruding from its head. At present the monster was scavenging in the wheelie bin outside the women's toilets, snarling and growling as it ate the garbage. It didn't seem to have seen the Hawkins family, but if Danielle tried to go into the female toilets it would then.

"I'll just have to do it here, sorry about this boys," said Danielle, yanking down her stirrup pants and her panties and squatting, her period pad in full view. Alistair, Gavin and Erica went to look away, but all caught sight of Danielle's bright blue menstrual blood over the soft white cover of her napkin and were unable to prevent their looks of shock.

"I must be related to royalty, blue-blooded," Danielle joked as she detached the sanitary pad from her knickers and put it on the ground, and got a tissue to clean her pussy flaps which also ended up soaked in smelly blue period blood.

Danielle then hastily opened the tampon box, taking out one white cylindrical object. Unwrapping the tampon, Danielle freed the long blue string then spreading her legs to open her wide-set vagina more, Danielle shoved the tampon up her fanny, the lubrication of Danielle's monthly flow ensuring it went up her vagina with ease. Adjusting the tampon so it was nice and comfortable in her pussy and straightening out the string, Danielle stood up and pulled up her knickers and her stirrup pants, adjusting her panty lines through her leggings.

"Okay Gavin, you can look again," Danielle laughed, noticing the embarrassed Gavin was staring at the skies to avoid looking at her as she changed her pad for a tampon.

"I was watching for more UFO's," said Gavin unconvincingly.

Alistair was closely observing the big purple monster, which having finished eating the trash in one bin, moved to another. "It doesn't seem to have noticed us, but we can't be too careful and we must not make eye contact with it. Above all, don't do anything that it might take as an act of provocation. That means you Cornelius."

"As if I would annoy a monster Dad, you treat me like I'm a fucking retard," Cornelius snapped sulkily.

"That's because you act like a retard," Alistair shot back. "Anyway, I think we'd better get going to be safe. Where's the hippo and werewolves?"

"Um Dad, I think we might have something to worry about in that regard," said Erica.

She pointed to where the hippopotamus had sat down at a bench, the two werewolves still leashed. This was good news, but the family watched as the hippopotamus pulled up the antenna on its phone and began to make a call.