I live alone.
Not by choice.
One day, unexpectedly, my mate of thirty-five years, the wife, decided she did not want to live with me anymore. She had found another gentleman. Younger than me and more virile. She packed all her crap up and was gone in one day. Did I mention she left me a ponderous mountain of bills? Yeah, I got saddled with that. Now at my age, you begin to think about slowing down and retiring. Forget that shit. I worked all my regular shifts plus two to three extras a week. I made it a goal to be out of debt as soon as possible. Oh yes, I cancelled all her cards.
Why am telling you all this? Well, it is because I worked so many and such long hours. I got up incredibly early in the morning, long before sunup.
A splurge of mine. I bought myself an espresso machine for my home. I would sit or stand and gaze out one of the back windows. Watching the slow transition of night and day. Of course, during the winter, it was just dark until long after I was at work. That fall and winter, I worked. That is, it, just work. I went nowhere else and did nothing else. All extraneous funds went to pay her bills.
The spring of the next year, I did it. I was out of debt. Well, there was the house payment. But everything was done. I stopped working all those extra hours. I now had something. Wait...... do not tell me.... I can remember here in a minute.............. Oh yes!!! Days off!!
And here begins my tale.
Like I said, it was spring. The house next door had been for sale for two years. As you can imagine, it needed work. Well, one evening I heard what sounded like a truck next door. Sure enough, there was a moving truck. One of those rental type things. I looked at my watch. It was 9:30 pm. What a crappy time to be moving in. I looked out the window. There was one shadowy figure moving back and forth. They must not have had much. It did not take long. I went to bed.
The next morning, I got up for work. The moving truck was gone. There were lights on, but the weird thing. Someone was mowing the lawn at 4 am. It was so dark; I could not make out anything. But yes, mowing the grass. I made two or three or four espresso and then left for work. Weird. I do not enjoy work as much as I used to. The body is in the preliminary stages of failure.
Oh, I can still work circles around these young punks. They want a paycheck and a blue ribbon just to show up. And long breaks too. But towards the end of the shift, my back hurts, my legs have no strength, and my arms and shoulders are exhausted. You take over the counter pain meds and go on. I do not take the extra shifts anymore. Do not need to.
I arrived at my home late in the afternoon. No action next door. You could tell the grass had been cut and the yard looked like a mowed hayfield. It would get better with subsequent mowing. There was no movement. The windows all had thick curtains. Not that I was looking or snooping. No matter. I went inside and took a shower. Then sat down to a hardy dinner of cottage cheese and bologna. Popped open a beer and watched the news. About 8pm, I got up and went to bed. Still had a couple of days to work this week. I had the weekend off. First one in an exceptionally long time. And because it was the first one off, I made no plans whatsoever.
I arose at my usual early hour and made espresso. Per normal, I looked out the window. Someone was painting the house next door, in the dark. They must work a great deal to have to mow and paint in the dark. But you do what you must. I gobbled down an English muffin with cheese, swallowed another espresso and trudged off to work. Painting at 4 in the morning? Weird.
It was another red-letter day for pain, stiffness, and tiredness at work. Thank goodness for drugs. Upon my return home, I noticed the house next door. The entire area outside was painted a light blue. In one night? But once more, not a soul in sight. Did my normal routine and went to bed.
Friday awoke a little early. I was excited about having a weekend off. I made it to the kitchen and made that first espresso. The first one is always the best. I cannot drink drip coffee anymore. The stuff that comes out of the machines at work is not coffee. More like sad brown water. I avoided it if possible. Other guys drank that swill like it was manna from heaven. Yuck.
So, there I am, a little before 4am. Someone is in the neighbor's yard, raking the grass. I watch for moments. Yes, they are. Raking it up and bagging it for the curb. Just like a good homeowner would do. But at this time of the morning? I must get ready for work. Think about it. Nine or ten hours and I will be off for two whole days. How exciting.
The day had its usual difficulties. The last hour of work lasted at least three hours. I know this is an exaggeration. But the day ended, and I headed for home. Pulling up into the driveway, I see the neighbor's yard was manicured and nice looking. A couple more mowing jobs and it will be perfect. No one and nothing moving there. They must work longer hours than me. Poor sots.
A bag of chips for dinner and a can of soda. Delicious. I thought that I would stay up late in celebration. Nope. Passed out by 8pm. Ain't I the life of the party?
I woke up in the night. I will be honest with you. It is because I am older and must pee. Cannot help it. Once I relieved myself, I was thirsty. Off to the kitchen. The moon was out tonight, and it flooded my kitchen with its glow. I go to the window to take a gander at it. Yes, nice, and full, cloudless sky and the backyard bathed in eerie light. Movement caught my eye. Someone was in the neighbor's back yard. From what I could see, it was a girl or woman in a bathing suit. A dark bikini to be exact. I was suddenly more awake than I was before. Been a long time since a saw a sight like her. Wow! Hey, wait a second, why was she out like this in the middle of the night?
Bikini Vampire, Part 2
I go to work and do my thing. I do not do any more than I must. I had decided I ain't gonna kill myself for them. I was home and my time was my own. I did very little that Saturday. Let us see about dinner. Bologna, crackers, and cheese? Crackers and peanut butter? Fried egg sandwich? And what to drink? Beer? Pop? Milk? I opted for bologna, cheese, and crackers. No cooking, and a beer sounded right. I sat at the table and made nice little cracker sandwiches. The beer was okay. But you know how it is. One beer leads to another. Sunset arrives and not long after, another bright moonlit night.
Something binged in my head. I went to look out the window. Sure enough, there she was, bikini and all in her backyard. I did not move, just stood there, and stared. She rolled over to be face up. Damn those things are huge. I kind hope she falls out of her suit. I have not seen any tits since my ex-wife. And hers were not that great. About that time, she glanced in my direction. Yes, she noticed. I still did not move. Did her eyes just flash red? Must be the light reflecting off something. After a while, she got up and went in. I watched until she was gone. I am a dirty old man.
Between the work week and the beers, I was ready for bed. I headed to the bathroom to shower. One of the few joys I have right now is dropping my clothes wherever the hell I want to. My ex harped on this insistently.
"Pick up your shit and put it in the correct place!" She would speak.
I do not miss that at all. As a matter fact, I make piles all over occasionally out of sheer joy. The hot water felt nice, and I just stood there.
That was another thing she used to bitch about.
"Don't use all the hot water."
And you know I would delight in draining the hot water heater dry. Just to spite her. I shut off the water and opened the curtain. To my shock, there was a face in the bathroom window. It looked like it might be the girl next door and she looked pissed. I also forgot to cover up due to the shock.
I reached for a towel and when I looked back, she was gone. I put on sweatpants and a T-shirt and went to see if she was still around. I looked out the window and there she stood. Still looked pissed. I can admit when I have been a shit. I open the back door and go out.
I spoke.
"Hey, I am sorry about staring at you. It is just that I have not seen such a beautiful creature in an exceedingly long time. I promise. It will not happen again. If you want to know, I am Andy, your pervert neighbor."
Well, that made her laugh.
"Would you like to come in for a beer?" I asked.
She now had a robe on as well as her bikini. It did not hide much.
She answered.
"Yes, I will come in, but no beer. I do not drink alcohol."
She introduced herself as Marisa. There was something about her voice. An accent I could not place. Like I know about accents. We sat at the kitchen table.
Marisa added.
"About the window peaking. I thought I would give you the same treatment you gave me."
I was really embarrassed. I had let myself go.
I spoke.
"Sorry about the old man body. It is not attractive. But you, Marisa, are incredibly attractive."
Marisa laughed aloud and added.
"Nonsense. You do not look that bad. I have seen worse."
That made me feel a little better.
I asked why she had chosen this neighborhood. Marisa replied.
"Oh, it is quiet and a little remote. I needed a change of scenery, and the price was right."
I then asked.
