Note: This one is a bit longer than some, and I wanted to let the story come out a little more before getting to the naughtier bits. It's definitely outside my norm for this site, but sometimes I just let the inspiration go. All people involved are over eighteen.
*
"Seven dollars for a cup of coffee?" asked Colleen. "Did you really need that?"
"The proletariat worries about needs," said Dave, adjusting his overly-thick hipster glasses. "We worry about searching out experiences."
Colleen wanted to roll her eyes, but knew that it would lead to another argument, and they'd already had quite a few over the last two days.
"It's actually pretty good," said Daphne from the back seat. "Like I'm a better person for drinking it."
Colleen tried to ignore Daphne. The younger blonde seemed to always find some new way to appear dumber. Fortunately for her most guys just seemed interested in her big tits. It was a shame when stereotypes were proven true. It also made Colleen glad that she had dyed her own hair back to its not quite natural red.
"It probably means that we're smarter," added Daphne, which made Colleen sigh.
"Maybe you should have some," said a voice directly behind Colleen. This was Kent, Daphne's current boyfriend, and one of Dave's circle of pretentious friends. "You seem kind of out of it."
"I'm fine."
"You're the one driving us, so I just want to be safe."
"I'm sure. Of course, any one of you guys could've offered to drive. Weird how it's always me."
Colleen refocused on the road. She did appreciate being closer to the heater. The weather changes in California were intense. Comfortable turned to frigid. It was Halloween, and the weather could really be whatever in Cali. There were some great things to do in groups while keeping warm, but she would never say that it was an indoor culture. They continued up the highway with Dave's over-sized phone guiding them. He had it in his mind to see a real circus before the year was out. The fact that it was Halloween just seemed to encourage him more. What could be scarier than clowns?
He had some new article he was writing, and was looking for some old expression of human experience through a pre-digital medium. Colleen found it sad that she knew about the weird shit he was into, but when you share a bed with someone some of their personal stink is left on you. It was annoying, and here she was driving them there.
She remembered a trip to circus when she was a little girl. The stink of the animal shit, and those orange colored peanut-shaped candies. Both were unpleasant. Then there were the clowns. She didn't have the clown-phobia that had become such a cliché in the last several years. Clowns were just clowns. Colleen knew some women who used nearly as much make-up and made even bigger fools of themselves. Still, she found the whole thing unsettling.
Their trip took them up to a remote area off the highway that was technically part of an Indian Reservation. This naturally inspired Dave to go off on a tangent with Daphne and Kent providing a chorus of "yeah"'s and "you're right's. Colleen ignored and drove. As they came off the exit ramp they beheld the gold and red glowing spectacle that was their destination. Despite the remoteness of the area, a good-sized crowd of cars was parked in a large dirt lot and on the road leading to it. Off on the opposite side away from the tent was a cluster of vehicles belonging to the circus. There were large trucks, trailers, and some rather ancient-looking motor homes.
"These people live on the road," said Dave. "They don't feel the same materialistic obligations as everyone else."
Colleen had reached her limit. She just wanted to get inside, and get it over with. Sometimes she was so certain that this whole thing with Dave would never work. There were other guys out there. One of them was bound to be at least less annoying.
They parked, and made their way to the big top tent. A bored-looking teenager with bad acne sold them their tickets. They were cheap considering the other events and concerts that they normally went to. As they got closer to the big tent they saw a strange looking man with a large orange beard taking tickets to let them in. He looked to be out of a bygone century with a crushed velvet cravat and ivory button shirt. His jacket was bright red and flared out at the collar.
"Welcome, new friends," he said with a richly deep voice. "Here you will see a new world outside the bounds of over-priced coffee and hybrid cars. You can be reminded of the true necessities of life and how one can live as they were meant to."
"Do you have an I-phone charger?" asked Kent. "My battery is low."
"We have no I-phones here," said the man. "Those are for life in town. We live in the beyond."
"You don't play Candy Crush then?"
The man smiled. "Enter. There is candy, and you never know what may get crushed. Perhaps the tent and the clowns under it."
"That's a little creepy," said Daphne.
"Let's just go in," said Dave. "I need plenty of notes."
"Is the gentleman looking to learn about the kindred? We are a close-knit folk, sir. You'll find people willing to be nice as long as you are nice to them."
"We gave you money, and you are nice or the word gets around that you're not. These 'kindred' may be a close -knit folk, but if the money on the highway goes dry they won't e making it together very long."
"Very clever retort, good sir. Naturally you are right. Forgive my presumption. I could tell that you were an educated man from the moment these foolish eyes of mine beheld you."
That wasn't sitting well with Dave, who could still get sarcasm despite the fact that he pretended to be the spawn of it. However, Colleen stepped in.
"We're sorry to hold you up, mister. Thank you for the warm welcome, really." She offered her best smile, and in her mind pleaded with the man to please take the hint and just send them on their way.
He offered her a flourishing bow, and even took her hand and kissed it.
"A pleasure, to have a fine lady like you with such a pretty smile," he said. "Please step right in. The show will begin in mere moments."
Thank you, God, she thought. I will never go anywhere with Dave again, I swear.
With no other issues impeding them, Colleen and her sometime friends made their way inside.
When all were seated, they waited for a time. The man with the big orange bead came into the center of the ring, and introduced himself as the Ringmaster. He quickly welcomed them, and announced that the show would now begin.
The crowd inside was fairy enthused. A circus was a novel thing for most of them. It progressed as many did with animals and performers. Colleen thought that it was all really interesting to watch. She couldn't do any of those crazy things, and certainly didn't like being near animals. The smell was there, but it didn't live up the negative memory I tried to tie to it.
There were some clowns mixed in with the regular performers. Dave explained that clowns could either be acrobats or acrobats could dress as clowns. The ones that they saw were the more modest clowns. The more intense clown troupe would be coming out later. Colleen noticed that he really seemed excited about it.
Daphne and Kent seemed bored. Dave got plenty of notes, and seemed caught up in his own world of dissecting the entire display. Colleen found it difficult to tell what he was thinking when he was in his "zone".
Then the more intense clowns came into view.
They were a wild mixture of colors and accessories: big red noses, extra-large neon shoes, costumes that ranged from garish to someplace well-beyond the bounds of normal human imagination. Stripes, polka dots, glitter, sparkles, and a storm of colorful fabric. Their costumes seemed to be in a desperate attempt to compete with the attention that the clowns' own skins would seek. Any visible skin appeared to be completely colored with bold white or black make-up for its base, and then a phantasm of colors to accentuate the eyes and lips. Some had designs trailing across them like bizarre tattoos. The designs of some seemed to be made to connect to others. They would perform odd movements to where it looked as though they were merging to form larger multi-limbed beings. It was such a frenetic performance that it was hard to tell what any of the actually routines could be.
"And we have sent in the clowns," cried the Ring master. "Our wonderful troupe features such fabulous performers and Mr. Bubbles, Slappy the Saint, Nosey, Curly, and Colonel Colors. What shall transpire within the ring tonight? For just a brief moment we may venture into their uncanny valley."
"Those things creep me out," said Daphne.
"Why?"
"Just look at them," she said. Daphne seemed to be on the verge of a convulsion of disgust. "How can we even allow people to look like that now?"
"That sounds bad. I mean would you ever let yourself get caught saying that about an actual culture of people? Or an ethnic group?"
The confetti fluttered down into the central ring and onto the crowd surrounding it. Slivers of light caught on the foil pieces at moments as if a cloud of light had bloomed inside the tent. Colleen was in awe. She looked over at her boyfriend to see if he was as taken as she was. Dave didn't seem emotionally impacted whatsoever. The patronizing and analytical mask was on. She hated it. During their fights that mask crawled onto his face and refused to let her reach him. It was sad that amidst a space filled with people wearing make-up Dave was the one with the false face.
Flowers came next, erupting from small canisters placed to be hidden from view. They rained down like leaves ripped up in a high autumn wind. Colleen caught herself staring with her mouth open. She found herself smiling at the dazzling nature of it.
She greatly enjoyed the rest of the show, and when it drew to a close she was genuinely sad to see it end. Dave had filled several pages of notes, and Kent and Daphne seemed relieved to be leaving.
"We're not going yet," said Dave. "I need to talk to some of these people. I need their actual words."
As always they gave into Dave and his demands. They waited as the rest of the audience filtered out of the tent, and only the performers were left to begin the clean-up. Dave walked them over to the Ringmaster who stood off to the side after bidding the audience "goodnight". He was brushing confetti off of his red jacket when they approached.
"Oh, well our young visitors stayed after," he said. "Did you enjoy the show? I think it was one of our best."
"It seemed indicative of a rather traditional clown performance," said Dave.
"Well, that's a ringing endorsement." He looked over to Colleen. "Did you like it, young lady?"
"She doesn't care," said Dave.
"I seem to recall asking her, sir."
