This is my first submission, so critiques are welcome.
Hope you enjoy!
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The rain was coming down so hard that I could barely see my hand in front of my face. If there was any moon to help alleviate the gloom, it was hidden beneath the heavy clouds. "Hello?" I called out, for the millionth time, but there was no response. I had wandered too far from the campsite in my search for privacy to take care of my business. "I should have just squatted right outside the tent." I muttered, forcing my bare feet to continue onwards. The woods couldn't last forever and we had only been a few hours out from town when we had been forced to stop.
Finally, I could see a small glare of light through the trees. I dared to hope that it was a campfire that Papa had been able to start as a beacon for me. I hurried forward, oblivious to the branches that were scratching my arms and tearing at the thin shift I had worn to sleep in. But no-it was no campfire. It was a lamp, hanging outside a broken gate. I could see no means for how the lamp stayed lit, but that was the least of my worries. A gate meant that there would be shelter near by and even if it was as run down as its entrance, it would be better than suffering through the storm. The sleeves of my shift were long and it came down to my knees, but it did little to combat the cold. I needed to be inside somewhere to dry off. A great creaking seemed to pierce the fog of the rain as I pushed the gate open enough to slip through. Beyond, I could see another light and what appeared to be a door.
My hopes rose. The door seemed to be intact. They fell again as soon as I reached it and realized that it was locked. "Hello? Is anyone in there?" I called, rapping on the door with the giant banger. A moment passed and the door slid open silently. "Hello?" I repeated and this time my voice echoed down the many halls. One of them was suddenly illuminated with torches and I made my way down it, hoping it would lead to a bedroom.
Doors lined the hall, but each one I tried was locked until I reached the chamber at the end. By this point I was shivering in the drafty castle, my soaking wet shift clinging to my thin body and my hard nipples trying to work their way over the top. The door opened easily under my hand, but it was pitch black inside. I stepped in to see if the torches would flare to life and when they didn't I spoke again, since that had cued the others. "Hello?"
This time, I was greeted. "Welcome." A deep voice responded and I strained my eyes to see into the shadows. I made out a great looming shape and turned to run, but the door was closing behind me, blocking both the light and my escape. My hands reached for the handle, but before I could get a good grip on it, a massive arm wound its way around my waist and pulled me tight against a warm body. "I wouldn't do that if I were you."
The words chilled me even as his heat warmed me. "W-why not?" I asked, swallowing against a sudden lump in my throat.