Amorous Goods The Sumerian Dildo

Author's notes,

This was written for the

Amorous Goods, Season 03 (2022) Author Challenge

and I will also enter it in the

Halloween Story Contest 2022

. Everyone depicted is over 18 and obviously this is a fictional story. Be sure to vote. I hope you enjoy the story.

Prologue:

A lifelong collector of goods and objects from far and wide has passed and left the entire collection and the business built around them to the only remaining relative, a niece on a career path of her own. Vikki has taken on the task of administering the estate and liquidating the business and collection. However, she has come to find out that many of the goods have been cursed or enchanted with amorous powers that affect those who encounter them. These are the stories of some of those encounters with objects found at Amorous Goods.

>>>>>

Amorous Goods: The Sumerian Dildo

Amy Madison made a wrong turn and her brow furrowed as she tried to decide what to do. She had never driven down this street before. She made the logical decision, in her mind, to make several other turns in various directions without keeping track. Totally lost, she had no idea where she was nor how to get home. Suddenly, on her umpteenth turn, there on the left, she saw a rather large mansion. It was kind of spooky looking, but there was a large sign in the front of the building, "Amorous Goods." Amy, with a rich executive husband, and Olympic-level skills in spending his money shopping, racked her memory, but she had never heard of it.

A college graduate, she knew what amorous meant and what the word goods usually indicated on a mercantile sign. Never one to pass up a chance to spend money, Amy decided to check it out. She needed a gag gift for Jackie, her older sister. Her older sister's birthday happened to be on Halloween at the end of the week. That was always a hoot, to see her older sister get all that ribbing.

The gag gift on birthdays had started with each sending funny birthday cards. Jackie had started the gift thing when she sent Amy, privately, of course, a beautiful wooden box with an exquisitely carved message on the top;

"Put this in your husband's suitcase the next time he goes on a business trip to remind him of you."

Amy wondered what wonderful thing her sister had put into this gorgeous box. The box contained a red see-through thong and a can of tuna fish.

Amy remembered she had laughed so hard she actually peed herself. To this day, she couldn't serve tuna fish to her husband Larry, in any form, without being sent into a wild fit of laughter. She would still have had the thong, but as a joke, she wore it. Larry got so excited he tore it off her. Well, that wasn't so bad, she guessed.

She wasn't particularly impressed with the outside of the old mansion. It looked seedy and creepy, like something out of a Halloween cheap B movie. Inside, it was cluttered, a bit dusty, and unorganized. Certainly not a Gucci showroom.

The clerk introduced himself as Dylan and explained how he and his co-owner Vikki had acquired the place. Her uncle had been a lifelong collector of goods and objects from far and wide. When he passed away he left everything to his niece, his only living relative. She had her career and had no interest in maintaining the business. Vikki took on the task of administering the estate and liquidating the collection and business. Since, liquidation can be tedious, time-consuming, and expensive, she had taken on Dylan as a working investor.

"Is there anything you are particularly looking for?" Dylan asked.

Amy didn't want to explain because all the gag gifts they did were raunchy, and she wanted this year to be the raunchiest yet. Fuck, she wanted it to be over the top.

"I don't know. I guess I am just looking for a birthday gift for my sister," she said, finally.

So Dylan began to show her around, pointing out various things he imagined might interest a woman.

"Here is a lovely Rockwell print," he pointed out and gave some, supposedly interesting, facts about the artist relating to this print. "Here is a beautiful broach worn by..." he continued, but Amy had tuned out by now.

There were stacks of different odd goods, and she was about to give up when she spied a small glass cabinet, almost hidden in a corner. Her curiosity got the best of her, and she moseyed over to have a look. The object that drew her attention was a phallus statue with balls only about three inches high enclosed in an obscenely large display case. An evil grin came over her face, and she thought about the possibilities. Perhaps a note.

"Put this on your shelf, so when Bill goes on a business trip, you have an exact life-sized replica of his cock for you to worship."

Bill was Jackie's husband, who Amy didn't like. It would be a hidden insult to him and a raunchy gift for Jackie. If nothing else, Jackie would never be able to display it.

Amy called Dylan over to get it out of the case.

"I'd like to look at that object in the display case, please," she said, pointing to it.

"Yes, ma'am," he said.

"Why does it have such a big display case?" she thought.

Dylan handed it to her, and she looked at it from several angles.

"I think this will do. It's a gag gift for my sister," she confessed, chuckling.

Dylan was shocked at her nonchalance.

"Do you know what this is?" he asked seriously.

"I've been married for many years. Yes, I have an idea of what it is. I think my husband has one, except it's a lot bigger," she replied sarcastically.

Embarrassed, he turned about three shades of red and stuttered, "Well, of course, you know what it represents a...," which he didn't want to finish.

"Phallus, penis, peter, cock, dick, dong, wang, pecker, prick, John Thomas...," she started to list every word she had ever heard of to denote the male genitalia.

"No, no, no," he sputtered, interrupting her, "It is a four thousand year old Sumerian worship phallus."

Amy sighed and looked a bit bored.

"Archeologists believe it was used in the worship of Inanna," he said excitedly, as only people interested in that sort of thing would be.

Amy still looked bored.

"She was the Goddess of love, sexuality, prostitution, and war," he continued trying valiantly to gain her interest.

"So, it's a four thousand year old dildo then," she said.

Dylan's mouth just hung open.

"Look," Amy began, "I don't care if four thousand years ago some bimbos stuck this in their twats. I'm thinking it's the perfect gag gift for my sister's birthday. What's it cost?" she asked, getting to the bottom line.

"This is in a special case, the item is very old," he replied.

Sighing and exasperated, Amy spit out each word individually, "What-does-the-fucking-thing-cost?"

"Our requested price is three hundred dollars," he said, defeated.

"Sold," she shouted, "Easy enough, huh?"

At the counter, the usual contact information was obtained, the credit card swiped, and just before he handed the fancy shopping bag to her, he put a small booklet into the bag and said, "Here are the instructions."

Amy's eyes rolled up in her head, then she glared at him and flamed on.

"You little peckerwood. I'm no bimbo who's going to use it," she spat, mad as hell at the perceived insult.

Again, all apologetic, Dylan sputtered, "No, no, you misunderstand me."

"How the fuck am I misunderstanding you?" she launched back.

"It's a special product. I didn't mean to infer you were going to use it...that way. It's special and old and..."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, how to clean and maintain it and shit," she said, snatching the bag and stomping out the door into the light misting cold rain.

Eventually, Amy found her way to an interstate she knew. Although she drove four miles in the wrong direction before realizing it. After turning around, she did eventually find her way home.

Amy put the bag on her nightstand and then stripped for a shower. She didn't like looking at herself in the mirror. She had frown lines on her forehead, crow's feet at her eyes, a double chin, crepe skin, cellulite, was overweight, and her tits were losing the battle with gravity, although they weren't that bad. Her paunch, was relatively small as it flowed down to the mound of her sex.

Her hairy pussy was scarcely used by the one, who when they first were married and in the passion of fucking her stupid on her parent's bed, had screeched as he came, "Your pussy belongs to me."

Her hubby was on one of his usual business trips. Since they became empty nesters, it seemed he went on more and more. He seemed more interested in his career than her. But she soldiered on soothing her growing dissatisfaction with ever-increasing credit card bills. At least it caused them to talk once a month.

Amy went about her day as she usually did. She ran errands and today lunched with Clara, an old High School schoolmate. Later that evening, after her usual third glass of wine, she almost fell asleep on the couch. Stretching and yawning, Amy decided to go to bed.

Usually, she slept in a typical house frau nightgown. It was fall and unlike most women, she preferred it a little cooler when she slept. So, Amy had a reasonably light cotton one on and what she called granny panties. She noticed the bag and retrieved the Sumerian object, still in its case, and tossed the bag into the corner.

The object wasn't large, and she thought that if it was, used as a dildo, the Sumerian worshipers, had some really low expectations. That made her chuckle. This was a perfect gift for her sister, a four thousand year old used dildo.

She continued her examination by gently removing it from the case and thought it was probably, made of wood. The little bulges representing balls allowed a good handhold. If you placed it in the palm of your hand, you could wrap your fingers, two on each side of the shaft, and close your fist over them to get a good hand hold. This would allow the use of the entire length of the short shaft, and the first knuckles of your fingers to do nice things to your clit. Impishly, she kissed the head of it and then just sucked the tip. As her lips touched it, Amy shivered involuntarily, and her pussy twitched.

"Where did that come from?" she thought, smirking.

She continued to examine it closely. It was an exquisite carving and almost felt warm. She dismissed that as probably heat from the incandescent bulb in the nightstand's lamp. Amy rubbed her fingers all over the smooth slick surface. Never had she experienced a wooden object that was so smooth. Impressed, she rubbed it against her cheek, and then somehow, it seemed to be in her mouth, and she sucked the entire length of the shaft. Again her pussy tingled, and shivers ran through her body.

"Was it this smooth because it had been worn smooth by countless pussies," she daydreamed, a thought almost overpoweringly erotic.

She marveled at the realism of the carving, prominent veins ran up the length, and it looked as genuine as any cock she had met in real life, just in miniature. It fit perfectly in her hand like it was almost made specifically for her. Her heart began to race and her face flushed as another stronger tingle in her pussy made her moan.

"It's the wine," she said out loud.

But the feeling didn't ebb. The flush spread from her face to her chest. She could feel the heat coming from her breasts. She felt her nipples begin to harden and sweat began to bead on her brow. Her heart began to race and her breathing was ragged. Her eyes flew open realizing that she was wet. Yes, she was wet down there. She couldn't remember the last time she was wet and didn't need her tube of lube.

She looked at her hand. The Sumerian object was locked in the position it was used, firmly fixed in her hand. Again, playfully she kissed the tip and suddenly found the Sumerian object in her mouth. Her lips and mouth were sucking it, and her tongue was playing with it as if it were a real cock. She even swore she could taste saltiness on her lips. Immediately, she pulled it out, but it was strange and looked so inviting.

Amy then pulled her night dress up and off, the cool air, stimulating her nipples, causing them to swell even more. She then, in what seemed the flash of a moment, rubbed the dildo over her right nipple. It stiffened almost painfully and felt like it sent a spark to her pussy. She had made no active decision to do it and moaned from the intensity as she did the same thing with her other nipple. It seemed the sparks now came from both nipples to her pussy, and she groaned. It had been a long time since she had been properly serviced and was getting turned on. So turned on, she hooked her free thumb into the waistband of her panties and stripped them off.

Breathing rapidly, she backed up, sat, and then lay on the bed. She rubbed the dildo all over her body, sending wave after wave of sparks to her pussy. As she neared her pussy, rubbing it generously over her sensitive inner thighs, it touched her clit. Amy involuntarily arched, thrusting her pussy into the air as if she were trying to reach an invisible cock.

"It's because of that TV show I watched," she gasped aloud.

Slowly, she massaged her outer lips with the object and then found it in her pussy, stroking slowly.

"Oh god, I miss that," she whined.

Her imagination then took hold, and she fantasized about a handsome young stranger using her pussy, using her. She pinched her nipples to hard nubs and squealed at the sweet little orgasm she had. Lying there recovering, she realized that she wanted more.

Amy then rolled onto her stomach, thrust her ass in the air, and from between her legs, began to pleasure herself again. This was a lot more serious fuck as she fantasized about a barbarian warlord, raping and fucking her with no mercy. This orgasm ended in a shriek.

Again, she wasn't satisfied and flipping back onto her back, she fantasized about the barbarian warlord and all his generals, gang-raping her. This orgasm ended in a scream.

>>>>>

The light through the window illuminated the room, and Amy awoke groggy.

"What the fuck time is it," she queried aloud, rising on her elbows to see the clock.

It was nine o'clock. Amy hadn't slept in until nine since she had children.

"What the fuck," she spat out as she looked down at herself.

She was naked and completely uncovered, the bedclothes off the end of the bed on the floor. Amy had never slept naked or uncovered in her life.

She gulped and stuck her tongue out, saying aloud, "Yuck."

There was an odd taste in her mouth that was different from the run-of-the-mill morning mouth. It seemed to taste like cum but with a bitter aftertaste. It wasn't that she regularly swallowed cum. She had never let anyone, husband included, cum in her mouth. Although once or twice, out of curiosity had serendipitously tasted cum deposited on her tits by her husband. She went to wipe her mouth and it seemed there was a sticky deposit around it, on her lips and cheeks. Continuing her self-exam, she found this sticky whatever, on her nipples as well.

"Holy fuck," she screeched in surprise.

The Sumerian object was in her pussy. She reached down quickly to pull it out, again feeling the sticky substance on the object, her thighs, and the hair on her pussy. It seemed almost like it was resistant to coming out. Amy chalked that up to her imagination. As she got it out, she felt a familiar tingle on her perineum and quickly spread her legs. Fluid was seeping out of her pussy and running down to her ass. This, she chalked up to the object having been in there, and her fluids built up behind it. When she removed the object, the fluids could then escape. Amy sat up, creating a large wet spot on the sheets, and mustered her strength to get up feeling hung over.

"Too much wine," she thought.

Amy examined herself in the mirror in the bathroom and was startled. She leaned into the mirror to check, to get a close-up look. The crow's feet wrinkles at her eyes were much diminished. The frown lines on her forehead were also. The wattle at her neck was nearly gone. The hair on her pussy was not salt and pepper, it was her old color.

"This is nuts. You are hallucinating," she said to her image in the mirror.

With that, she turned on the shower, to get the water warmed up and brushed her teeth. After her shower, she felt better and slipped on her usual pair of granny panties. They were loose. I mean falling down loose.

"I've got to get some new underwear. These things are all stretched out," she gripped.

Amy left them on, deciding to throw them out at the end of the day. No sense in throwing out clean ones because she had gone to all the work to launder them. She grabbed her jeans, expecting the usual fight to get them on she always had. To her amazement, they slipped right on. They were so loose she could stick her hands in her pockets, with the jeans buttoned at the waist, and push them off. She stood there awestruck. With that, she ran to her closet and dug out a pair of jeans she had worn, after she had gotten her figure back, after her first pregnancy. They fit just like she remembered, molded to her curves, looking almost painted on. Looking at herself in the mirror, she saw the lines of her panties underneath and decided to go commando today.

She again spent her day as usual running errands, and today she had lunch with Jane, a woman she had gone to college with.

"Amy, you look great," Jane said. "What's your secret?"

"Just healthy eating and exercise," Amy replied.

This made her day. The only unusual thing about the day was that she seemed to be a bit aroused. She hadn't thought about sex during the day in quite some time, but today she saw a young man and for a moment fantasized about him making passionate love to her. Amy laughed, feeling the slightest dampness in the crotch of her jeans. She hadn't had that happen since college and chalked it up to her seemingly endless dry spell.

That evening she only had two glasses of wine. It almost seemed like her bedroom was calling her. After completing her nightly routine, she put on her nightgown. It was ridiculously baggy, and she didn't want to wear panties because she figured she'd wake up with them around her ankles. This made her laugh and, like anyone who has fought the battle of the bulge, again made her day. So, she opted to dig through her husband's stuff and found a t-shirt that only just hid her ass.

"This will do," she said, hopping into bed.

There on the nightstand by her bed was the object. Funny, it looked bigger to her. It seemed a bit thicker and a bit longer, which she again chalked up to her overactive imagination. She took it in her hand, kissed the tip, and slipped just the head in, giving it a couple of gentle sucks. The next thing she knew, she was sucking on it like it was a real cock. Amy swore she could taste the salty taste of precum but chalked that up to remnants of her pussy, although she knew she had cleaned it well. She ran the thing all over her cheeks, her neck, and suddenly her t-shirt was gone, flung away. She ran the object over her nipples and breasts. The sparks she felt were stronger than those she felt the night before. They were far more powerful and tore moans from her throat. Lying back, her legs spread wide, she stroked her belly, and thighs. As it touched her clit she squealed and orgasmed.

Never had she come so fast. Then it was somehow in her pussy, and stroking not slow but rapidly. The juicy wet sounds of her sopping pussy excited her. She imagined that the young man was driving his cock into her, over and over again. This orgasm was no nice sweet little orgasm, it was a powerful all-body experience. She writhed and squirmed under its formidable sensations.