I'm not sure what roused me, but suddenly I'm awake with my eyes wide open. My bedroom is pitch black; even the streetlight that normally teases at the edge of my window blind is absent. The loudest sound is my own nasal breathing.
The first nugget of sentient thought to strike me is that my cotton pyjama pants feel off. They've become twisted during the night. I'm a restless sleeper, so that's a common occurrence. I reach down under the covers and pull them back into position.
With the adjustment, I notice a slight wetness in my underwear. That, too, is a common occurrence. It doesn't necessarily mean I'm horny. Sometimes vaginas just leak stuff. On this occasion, I actually am a little horny, but that's irrelevant.
Groggily I push myself up my pillow into a half-sitting, half-lying position. I reach out to my bedside table and feel along its wooden top. Eventually my hand closes around cool metal, and I bring my phone up to my face. In my drowsy state, my fingers fail me, and I drop it on my chest. My phone slides down my buttoned pyjama shirt and between my breasts. The cold screen directly against my skin makes me hastily yank it back out. If I wasn't alert before, I sure am now.
When I turn it on, my bedroom is graced with a faint glow. In the corner of my eye, something moves into the closet.
What was that? My head snaps up and I flick my hair out of my face, peering through the darkness. Nothing looks out of place; there's no sign of any animal or... person. Then I notice that my bent knees are casting vague, shifting shadows onto the walls, and I sigh. Paranoid.
It's 3:15. What a terrible time to be awake. For some reason, I don't feel drawn back into slumber. My reptilian brain has decreed that I need to be alert right now. Instead I open the browser and type in 4chan.org.
Yeah, I know, I know. I promise I'm not completely insane. It's just fun to go on certain boards and announce that I'm a girl and watch the poor incels go crazy. Most of them are just desperate and a bit creepy. The rest demand that I post my tits, which is the standard method of female verification on the website, and when I don't, they call me slurs and threaten to kill me. Not that I've never considered it. A quick half-nude could be fun. As titillating as I find the idea of random strangers masturbating to my body, though, I'm worried they could track me down from a single boob pic, so I keep things mild.
Before the website can finish loading, the screen goes black. I press the power button repeatedly, but my phone only vibrates in protest. Then, I remember that it wasn't plugged in when I grabbed it. Damn.
I lean over and return it to my bedside table, inserting the charger. The dull white outline of an empty battery symbol appears on the screen. It's an old model, and it'll take at least half an hour before I can turn it back on.
Well, there goes the only source of entertainment at hand. I still don't feel like I can fall asleep soon.
My gaze wanders around my bedroom. The charging screen is the only source of light; if not for that barely-present glow, I wouldn't be able to see a thing. As it is, it takes a moment for me to realise that my closet door is slowly moving.
I sit bolt upright, staring at the closet. The creak of the door opening is quiet, yet incredibly clear in the night. It was definitely shut a minute ago. Maybe I just left it unlatched, but why is it only falling open now? What's making it move?
Something steps out from the closet.
My heart skips a beat.
A tall shadow emerges. It's so blurry and indistinct that it disappears into my peripheral vision if I shift my gaze away. Peering at it, I can make out a gently protruding nose and indents for eyes on a head that seems to merge with the darkness around it. Though it doesn't take any noticeable steps, it seems to be getting gradually closer.
Panic fills me, mind and body. I'm frozen in utter shock. This is clearly some kind of evil spirit, or at best a neutral spirit that is nonetheless scaring the shit out of me.
There are three obvious questions: what the hell is this thing, what does it want from me, and how do I make it go away? If only I was as knowledgeable as those occult nerds on the 4chan paranormal board, /x/. I never bought anything I read on there before, but now I'm rethinking it all.
Wait! I remember seeing something on /x/ about dealing with supernatural entities. It was all about confusing the spirit with absurd behaviour. Yes, that's right... the post suggested pulling down your pants and jacking it.
Okay, it was probably a joke, and definitely one targeted towards men. As I recall, however, all the replies seriously praised the masturbating technique. Surely the principle holds true regardless of one's plumbing. Besides, what else am I supposed to do? Looking at that tall black creature, now halfway between the closet and my bed, makes my mind blank on any actual logic. I need to act now, but all I can think about is that silly post.
Taking a deep breath, I cast aside the covers and pull my mane behind my ears. I keep an eye on the shadow person as I put my thumbs around my pants and underwear and tug both down my thighs. Showing this otherwordly being my slightly hairy pussy makes me feel ridiculous, but I can't back out now.
I push my pants past my knees, which I then awkwardly spread, trying to give the shadow person a decent view. It's embarrassing, but I swallow my pride. I've never done anything quite like this before - brazenly playing with myself in front of someone else - so I can only hope I'm doing this right.