Chapter 3 An Undeniably Pleasurable Twist
About a week had passed since my last interaction with Dana on the phone as well as the unusual sexual experience with Julia. I had once again been successful in avoiding any prolonged exposure to Dana's presence, trying to keep myself together and...well...married. I was working on being sweeter with Julia, and trying to stay focused on her and not allow my mind to wander down the alley of sexual lust for Dana. It worked for the most part, and only crept in late at night when Julia's breathing became heavy with peaceful sleep and I was wide awake. It was those times I would sneak onto Dana's facebook page and look through her photos, my heart heavy.
However, as I sat at my desk at work and worked on Dana's 90 day work evaluation, I couldn't push down the excitement that I was the one who had to meet with her for her 90 day evaluation as I was her main supervisor. I knew I couldn't avoid it, and while it made me gulp back fear of being that close to her, I was undeniably excited for when I would be able to spend that hour alone with her in the conference room. I knew, however, that I had to maintain appropriate professionalism, so as I wrote out my comments with each expectation on her evaluation, I was also working on playing out how I would handle the situation in my head.
Dana, please plan to attend your 90 day evaluation at 3PM next Thursday.
I emailed the calendar invitation to her.
Absolutely!
Where will we be meeting?
Her text came immediately, as if she had been holding her phone waiting for a text from me. My heart skipped a beat, my face flushed with heat. I knew that she had missed talking with me since our phone interaction several weeks ago. She had attempted to call several times, only to be met with a professional text from me that stated:
Can't talk right now, sorry!
I also had smelled her sexy perfume when she would come stand outside my office door when it was closed. I had been keeping it closed a lot lately, trying to again, avoid temptation with the illusion that I was working on difficult work projects and was not to be bothered. I would smell her sweet scent before I could see the shadows of her two feet in the slit of light that showed from under my doorway. I would hold my breath, wondering, hoping that she would knock so I could at least talk to her for a few seconds to tell her I was busy. But she didn't.
Part of me appreciated that she was not being pushy at all. I knew that she probably thought I was trying to work on things with Julia and making sure that she and I were ok. I knew that even though she knew I struggled with wanting to be with her, that I loved my wife above all else. I knew that she knew she brought out an almost animalistic sexual instinct in me when she was around me, something she knew I had a hard time keeping together. I knew she highly respected me as her boss, and wanted to be able to work with me and be around me more than she needed any sexual relationship.
I sighed to relieve the tension that always came over me whenever I thought about her. I shook my head to clear my thoughts.
In the conference room up front.
I wrote back to her, making sure to not include any smiley faces or flirty words.
It took a moment for her to respond. My heart was thumping in my chest, I started to write several messages with smiley faces for fear I had run her off completely, but I kept deleting them. I had told my wife that she had nothing to worry about.
You got it, boss! See you then
. The phone buzzed in my hand and I looked down. Relief washed over me like a hot shower. I could tell she had wanted to write other things back, but that she chose to also keep things to a professional level. I felt horrible that she probably was hurt that I hadn't really spoken to her since our phone call that night. Guilt took the place of the relief and I was back to mentally beating myself up.
Get a grip, man!
I yelled at myself as I stared down at the screen. I needed to make sure she knew that we were good. I had been completely inappropriate with her that night on the phone, and then since then I had been a complete jackass in avoiding her at every possible moment, even to the point of coming in early and leaving early so as to not have to be alone with her. I hung my head. I needed to go make it right.
Standing up, I straightened up my shirt and made sure that everything looked professional before going to my door. I took a deep breath and opened it. I had heard her come in a few hours prior, so I knew that she was at her desk a few cubicles from my office. I turned the corner and stared. There she was, her back to me as she was typing on her computer. Her phone was sitting propped up on the keyboard, and she kept looking down at it, expecting a response from me. Her brown hair fell in those soft waves around her shoulders, and I could smell the floral of her perfume from where I was standing. She had on a light ocean blue/green see-through shirt with a cream tank top underneath. Her sleeves were rolled up to her elbows and the shirt was tucked into her skin-tight dark denim skinny jeans. Dana pulled her hair off her shoulders around one side and made a big sigh. She went back to typing on her computer.
I didn't want to startle her, so I took the last few steps towards her cubicle and cleared my throat. Dana still jumped slightly and spun around in her chair. Her light brown eyes lit up at the sight of me and her perfectly plump, light pink natural lips curled into a smile. Her skin was more bronze than usual, obviously she had been spending some time in the sun. I could feel the sexual tension rising in me once again, but I willed it away.
"Good morning, Dana, how are you doing?" I asked, making sure to keep my voice even and controlled. I was unsuccessful however, and heard my voice crack halfway through the sentence like a pubescent adolescent boy. I shook my head as she giggled, her slim fingers making their way up to her lips. I raised an eyebrow and pursed my lips in a mock annoyed look at her giggling. But inside, my whole body came alive with that melodic giggle that I loved. I knew that she knew she had me then.
Dana placed one slender leg over the other and folded her arms across her chest. She then moved her lips into the most sexual pout I had ever seen. "I've been better, boss." She said looking up at me with those big caramel brown eyes, her bottom lip moving back into the adorable pout.
My legs began to weaken as the desire coursed through my veins. I was hopeful that no one else in the office could see the playful interaction we were having as everyone in the office knew and loved Julia and would absolutely find this interaction inappropriate for me to be having with such a beautiful female employee.
I cleared my throat. "Um, can I see you in my office?" I managed to squeak out in that young boy voice again. As soon as I asked the question, I turned on the spot and started to walk back to my office. I didn't even know if she had gotten up to follow me or not, but my feet hurriedly carried me back through my office door and to my chair which I pulled all the way up to the desk to hide any signs of sexual arousal that I was sure was already beginning. I cursed at God for not making me a woman who could hide sexual arousal easily.
It felt like several minutes, but I knew that it was just a few seconds before Dana's slim, petite figure filled my office doorway. I motioned for her to come in and shut the door behind her. Dana obliged and then took a seat at one of the two chairs that faced my desk. I could feel the heat rising in my neck and face again, and was thankful that I kept my office relatively dimly lit as I couldn't stand the standard overhead lights the building insisted on putting in every office.
Dana was looking at me, and I realized I must have been silently staring at her for several seconds without saying anything. She crossed her legs again, placing an elbow on one and her chin in her hand, looking inquisitively at me, a quirky smile on her face. I knew she knew that she tortured me with every look she gave me.
I cleared my throat again. "Hey...I uh..." I took a deep breath. "I just wanted to make sure that we are OK after the other....night." I said in a shaky voice. "Well, I wanted to make sure YOU are ok after the other night." I lifted my eyes to meet hers. It looked like there were tears welling up in her eyes and I wanted to run to her and take her in my arms and tell her it was ok.