Wisconsin Hog Roast

It happened three weeks ago, my name is Josh and I took my last final after my third year at UW and had 10 days before I started my summer intern job. My friend Ryan finished on the same day. Two hours after the final we left for his parents' house across the state. We planned to spend the weekend there and take in his little brother's high school graduation party, then I would go to home and see my parents for a few days before starting a summer job.

It's a Wisconsin thing, the graduation party took place on his family farm in a shelter house by a lake. They roasted a whole hog. Roasting a whole hog is a two day affair, it's also a drunken party with queasy sunrise hangovers as a result of the dripping hog fat and the smell of burnt rawhide. It's not pretty, but it sure is fun.

The process started by digging a pit about the size of a grave, but only half as deep. They dug it with a backhoe, farm equipment comes in handy. The pit was filled to overflowing with hickory logs and at dusk the fire pit was doused in diesel fuel and ignited. Parents, aunts, uncles, friends and neighbors gathered around the bonfire in lawn chairs for a pleasant evening of sharing stories and building community ties. Beer filled coolers on the tailgates of pick-up trucks were plentiful and bottles of schnapps were being passed around.

By 10:00 pm the fire had been stoked a few times and the adults were mostly gone off for home and bed. Young friends of the graduate were gathering with more beer coolers on more tailgates. No additional wood was added after 11:00 pm and by midnight the pit was half filled with hot coals. It was time to put the hog on the fire.

This was not a little piglet going on a spit, this was a full size hog with a carcass weight of 175 pounds with the head on. You might think that 3-4 strong guys would somehow wrestle the hog over the pit. No, this was a modern working farm where they have the equipment needed for heavy lifting. They had the hog positioned on a steel frame with a mesh grid that was sized just right to fit on the blocks that had been placed around the edge of the pit.

Ryan used the front end loader on a tractor to lift the ropes that were attached to the grill frame. With a little guidance from a few guys who were still sober enough to not be at risk of falling into the fire, they lowered the grill and hog in place. The final step was to cover the hog with a heat reflector that looked something like a short canoe. It was made out of re-bar, chicken wire and aluminum foil and it served to hold the heat and reflect it back down on the hog. This wasn't the first hog roast for this family.

By 2:00 am most of the young kids were either gone or had sneaked off as couples for a roll in the hay. Ryan's parents had come out to check that the hog was properly placed in the makeshift oven. His mom had taken his little brother by the arm and lead him back to house explaining that he was not going to be throwing up and hung over when the relatives arrived for the party. He was staggering and needed her help. Ryan's dad sat down with us and gave some unneeded instructions about keeping hot coals in the pit, he took a slug of bourbon when the bottle was passed to him, then said goodnight and left Ryan in charge.

Our job was to keep a side fire going and occasionally shovel hot coals from the side fire to the roasting pit. It was nearly 2:30 am with Ryan's friend Ben arrived with his girlfriend Lexi. Ben is a few years older than Ryan and he grew up on a farm nearby. After he graduated from high school he joined the Army where he was an explosives specialist, after getting out of the Army he went to work for a mining company as their explosives expert, making him a high paid young redneck. He is the kind of guy you can't help but like, he is funny and totally entertaining, he has to be the center of every conversation and you have to question the truthfulness of every word he says. Lexi is a cute blond of about the same age, she works as a flight attendant for a regional airline. When Ben wasn't dominating the discussion, Lexi was. Most of what she says seems to be laced with bullshit as well.

After the bottle made a few more passes and the conversation heated up, I came to the realization that I didn't care that Ben and Lexi were full of crap, they were interesting, funny, the conversation was turning sexy, and I enjoyed them.

Ben is a big guy with shiny black hair combed straight back. He was wearing expensive designer jeans over construction work boots and a tight shirt with Japanese characters on the front. When I asked him what the Japanese words said he quickly replied, "Big Dick. Eats Pussy."

"Yes he does," chimed in Lexi without being asked.

"Yes to which," Ryan asked.

"Yes to both," Ben and Lexi replied almost in unison.

Lexi has a girl next door look, just about medium everything. She was wearing a light weight dress, and strappy sandals which made her a little over dressed for a hog roast.

She heard some music she liked and climbed up on the picnic table and started dancing, claiming she had a lot of experience dancing on bars. There was a background light hanging from a tall post near the barn and the fabric of her dress was very thin. The shapes of her legs and ass were nicely silhouetted. The dim light and light fabric left just a little to the imagination and with my dirty mind what I was imagining was almost better than seeing her totally naked.

Ben had stories about military experiences, mostly involving fucking, drinking and explosives. I got the impression that a good explosion would give him a boner about as quick as a naked woman. He had a lot of passion for every story he had to tell.

Not to be outdone, Lexi had her own adventures mostly involving fucking, drinking and flying.

"A guy on a flight was sitting a back seat with no one around him and jacking off upside down," she said. "I told him to stop or I was going to tell the captain and he would land at the nearest airport and have him arrested for indecent exposure."

"Wait, wait, and wait," I said, "Upside down?"

"Yea, you know, if you do it regular you have the thumb side of your hand out by the tip of the dick," she said as she put her hand down between her legs and pantomimed a man jerking off. "This guy had his wrist rotated so his little finger was going up to his knob," she said as she demonstrated.

She claimed that she did go to the captain and that he told her he wasn't going anywhere but the destination so she should give the guy a good hand job and get him off, then he would put it away. Like I said, everything seemed to be laced with bullshit, but it was entertaining.

"So did you give him a hand job?" I asked.

"No," she said, "what I did was, I took the ice bucket and walked back to his seat, he was still stroking his dick and getting perverted pleasure out of me watching, so I dumped the ice on his dick. It shriveled up like the wicked witch of the west."

Of course that led to a discussion about the proper method of jerking off; upside down or standard? Ryan, Ben and I were standard thumb out whackers, but Lexi claimed that she preferred to give upside down hand jobs. We also had a discussion about how quickly a cock would go soft and shrivel up if an ice bucket were dumped on hard wood.

While we were taking care of the fire, Lexi got up on the table and started dancing again. The "just a little left to the imagination" show was on again. I was almost sure that she had no panties on, and just drunk enough to be bold enough to ask. She raised her dress to let us see for ourselves. She gave us a good look at her bare pussy then turned around to show her cute little ass.

"Ben and I fucked on the hood of his truck just before we came here," she explained to Ryan and I who were both staring in jaw-dropping amazement. "I wiped off with my panties and left them in his car. I didn't wipe off Ben, I cleaned him up with my mouth." Then she opened her mouth and licked her lips with the exaggerated obscenity of a porn star.

"I didn't wipe very well," she continued as she pulled up her dress, sat down and spread her legs. "Wanna see?"

I moved over for a closer look. She laid back on the table and I put my head between her legs as she pulled her lips wide and began slowly humping her hips as if she were enjoying a nice slow fuck. When my head was close to her spread pussy she suddenly thrust her hips up and grabbed the back of my head. I didn't really resist much and found my face smashed against her wet cunt. I grabbed her ass cheeks, pulled her into my mouth and began eating in earnest.

For several minutes I ate pussy with total abandon while she moaned, encouraged, and humped my face. When I realized she was clamping her legs hard on my ears and no longer making as much noise I looked up and saw that she had Ryan's cock in her mouth. I think that was about the point where she had a major clenching orgasm, or maybe it was her fifth or sixth orgasm, I really couldn't tell.

She pushed my head away and I stepped back. She drug Ryan by the dick until she had him positioned where I had been and guided his cock into the dripping, clenching pussy that I had prepared for him.

"Pull up a chair, have a beer and let's watch the show," said Ben as we watched Ryan bury his cock in Lexi's pussy.

"She can take a dick, can't she," he said with pride as I sat down beside him for the show, "the next best thing to fucking her is to watch somebody else fuck her. After she drains the cum out of both of you she is going to be so damn hot for me that I'm going to lose my mind."

Lexi is not a screamer, more of a grunter. It was a still night, the coals crackled occasionally, but the loudest sound was the squishing sound of a fat cock plowing into a dripping wet cunt followed by the smack of hips against spread thighs. As the hog roasted the sexy girl grunted and the farm boy rutted, it was a hell of a show and it ended with a loud synchronized climaxes.

Ryan stumbled away, Lexi took off the dress that had been bunched around her waist. She was totally naked except for the strappy sandals, an assortment of silver rings and bracelets, and a hefty silver dog collar around her neck.

She walked up to me where I was setting in a lawn chair, stood between my knees, and put a finger under my chin, lifting my head to look directly into her eyes she said, "you're next, and for that incredible job you did eating my pussy, I'm going to give you the best blow job you've ever had."

I was laying on my back but tilted to the side on the picnic table, she was sitting down on the side of the picnic table just like anyone would sit if they were eating. With her elbows on the edge of the table she got busy with ravenous stroking and sucking. She was good, very good! Over and over she would get me right to the brink, then back off and slow down. She would tickle the bottom side of my knob with the tip of her tongue and come to a complete stop and blow air on my cock. She did ball handling, licking and squeezing, pucker poking, long licks, short licks, fast jerks, slow jerks, sunken cheek sucks; the whole nine yards and did it all with expertise and confidence.

Ben and Ryan had pulled their lawn chairs up close to watch by the time she climbed up on the table and mounted me. She spent a few minutes sitting straight up with her hips gyrating in a way that gave my dick a new experience. When she turned around to face my feet she got busy bouncing that cute little ass at full speed. She didn't stop until I was moaning, pulling her hips down, thrusting up until wave after wave of cum.

Lexi was in the middle of a mega orgasm herself. With her pussy still clenching and legs shaking she popped off me, turned her ass toward the end of the picnic table and leaned over to lick my cock clean. Immediately Ben was on his feet behind her and buried his cock in her dripping cunt. He gave her a hard pounding but didn't last long.

An hour later we were awaken by lights switching off and on, a door slamming multiple times and other noises coming from the house. Lexi was still naked but wrapped in a blanket and sleeping on the picnic table. The rest of us were sleeping in lawn chairs. Lexi and Ben got into his truck and drove away, Ryan and I got busy building up the side fire and shoveling more hot coals into the cooking fire.

"I see you're up and at it," Ryan's father said as he walked by the fire on his way to feed the cows. He gave us a knowing look, and Ryan returned the same look. His dad knew what we had been up to, and we knew that he knew, but wisely and kindly, nothing was said.

The actual graduation was at 10:00 am. The hog was perfectly roasted by noon when the guests began arriving. The feast was served at 1:00. The hang over lasted well into the following day. Thoughts of Lexi on the picnic table made my dick hard for the entire summer and still occasionally lead to an upside down jerk off.