I actually met Wino just before PhD and I were officially separated. Meeting and being attracted to him is what actually prompted me to tell PhD I wanted to see other people, basically since I knew in my gut he was cheating on me, but wouldn't admit it.
6', 29 (now 31...now 37 and married!), born in Kansas to a privileged family, went to school for film but ended up consulting in Chicago and then selling high end wine for a winery his parents bought in to, plenty of wine, 420 and immaturity, thin, big nose, cute mole on his face, ridiculously wide smile, goofy dance moves, perfectly groomed dark hairy chest that makes me want to curl up on it and touch it for days.
He was the first guy I slept with after 16 years of monogamy.
I met him at the dive bar in town. He was well dressed in a white button-down shirt and dark jeans. He looked like the typical Napa tourist.
That night a culinary classmate and I had recently arrived there after dinner at a restaurant around the corner. It was Thursday night and we had no class the next morning, so it was already the weekend. I had enough to drink at the restaurant that I don't remember how Wino and his older, Iranian companion struck up the conversation with us.
Early on, the Iranian turned to her and made a wild guess saying she was 23 with a long-distance boyfriend. Pretty spot on since she was 24 and had a long-distance boyfriend. He then turned to me and, with a strong gaze, told me I was 27 and available. I laughed and agreed. I was 38 at the time with a long-term boyfriend I was about to separate from.
He moved closer to me and whispered in my ear, "Why don't we go back to my house for a glass of wine?" I laughed out loud uncontrollably and told him there was not a chance in hell that I would go home with a stranger. He told me he didn't want to have sex with me, and I replied positively that he wasn't going to get to.
An older man got up to karaoke "New York, New York" and I grabbed Wino by the hand and dragged him to the dance floor to get away. The physical closeness of my chest and stomach touching his caught me unaware and made me feel excited and weak at the same time.
I hadn't felt so sexually attractive in months, maybe years. On several occasions throughout the night, he grabbed the belt buckle on my jeans. I wanted to grab him and run the one block back to my apartment and fuck his brains out.
My girlfriend left around 11:30PM, but I didn't want the night with Wino to end. We yelled at each other over the bad karaoke going on behind us. At one point he just stared at me and started to move in for a kiss. I certainly wasn't going to have a first kiss with anyone in a dive bar, but more importantly it was full of classmates and restaurant workers that knew I had a boyfriend.