Wingman

Based on a true story…

It was a pretty normal Friday evening in my little college town. Basically, I had the choice of going to a frat party and drinking: staying in the dorms and rounding up a couple of the guys and drinking: or going to a dive bar and, ta-da, drinking.

The futility of it all was starting to wear me down so I decided against all three and just kicked back in my room and read a book while listening to some tunes. A solitary evening perhaps, but one that would most likely be more intellectually stimulating then normal. Plus I would not be paying for it with Tylenol in the morning.

Of course, since this was a decision that would keep me out of trouble it had no chance of actually lasting throughout the night. A more appropriate major for me would have been alcohol with a minor in athletics. Unlikely to be worth much in the job market but at least it would have been honest.

At about ten o’clock Jason walked into my room. I’d like to say he knocked but then it would not have been Jason. Jason was as full of contradictions as he was of himself. Thinking he was polite while never having learned how to knock was the least of these.

The one that was the most annoying was that he thought of himself as a “Ladies Man”.

Perhaps he was, at least until they sobered up. He thought he knew everything there was to know about women at 21. At best, he knew everything he was ever going to know about women by 21.

In the kind of cruel humor favored by those who think of the almighty as a sadist, Jason was a looker. Even a guy who has never felt leanings towards his own sex learns to recognize the competition. I was pretty confident about myself in most ways but I knew Jason killed me in that area.

However, he was so stuck up and shallow that he was hardly a threat on campus. With a student body of about 5000, word got around pretty quick.

“Dude, what are you doing,” Jason exclaimed at about 20 decibels louder than necessary. “It’s Friday night, you can’t just hang out.”

“Why Jason?” I replied, “You have a more productive plan for me?”

“Hell yes!” said Jason, “You got the room to yourself for the weekend because Andrew is down in Iowa City with Nicole, right?”

I nodded, because Jason knew perfectly well that this was almost always the case with my roommate. Andrew and Nicky had been together for as long as I knew them and it had been a key factor when Andrew was looking for a roomie. Who would not want the extra space most weekends?

“Well, Greg just took off for Davenport so I’m in the same situation. Dude, I can’t just sit around, I gotta get laid!” Jason said that like he was hungry and wanted someone to go halves on a pizza. I knew at that point that I was going to get talked into it just to shut him up, so I put down my book and was already getting ready as he did a clumsy spin and headed to his room two doors down chanting, “Gomer’s, Gomer‘s, Gomer’s!”

Gomer’s was a typical college bar for one of these midwestern towns where the students made up a third of the population. It had two floors, the first with a bar and a dance floor and the basement with pool tables, another bar and the restrooms. With three colleges in town it was always fairly busy but only uncomfortably so on nights where they offered drink specials.

It was part of a two-block strip located midway between the three schools that was close enough to each campus so drunks could walk back to the dorms. The local cops mostly turned a blind eye to the fact that ID checks were casual at best because it was convenient for them to have most of the kids concentrated in a controllable area.

As I pulled on my jacket Jason came sauntering back into my room and snatched my keys up off my desk.

“ C’mon, dude! I’m driving!”

“No,” I said coldly, “You’re not. It is less than a mile and odds are we will both be hammered by closing time. I’ll come along and play sidekick but my car stays here.”

“Jeez, lighten up Will,” Jason replied, “It’s been three fuckin’ weeks and she ain’t even that cool of a girl.”

Typical. Reminding me of my recent break-up was hardly a way to make me feel more festive, but for Jason to realize that would require that he think before speaking. Not likely.

Gomer’s was packed with kids celebrating the beginning of the weekend. The dance floor was wall-to-wall bodies and every table was taken so I kicked back against the bar while the hunter cruised from group to group looking for prey. Jason had been slamming beers in between dancing with different girls for the last hour but I had kinda chilled and nursed a couple of vodka tonics. Admittedly, the atmosphere was working a little bit and I was feeling slightly less anti-social. There were a couple of girls at a nearby table that I knew from a class at Clarke College. Maybe…

“DUDE! Check it out!”

“What, Jason?” I guess I had forgotten my primary role here. Just as I had decided to focus on a more pleasing possibility…

“There, Will, at the table on the right. The blonde, man, the blonde!”

Say what you will, Jason was right this time. The girl in question was a stunner. She would stand out in any crowd. I wondered how it had taken this long for either of us to notice her. She was sitting with a group near the dance floor talking to a brunette who had her back to us.

“I’ve been watching for the last couple of minutes,” Jason confided, “The other people are all paired up except for her and the brunette. She’s turned a couple guys down. I don’t think she wants to leave her friend sitting alone, ya know.”

I have to admit that for him that was almost subtle. It was obvious he wanted me to ask the brunette to dance or at least to sit and talk with her while he hit on the blonde. What the hell, this was why he wanted me to come along in the first place. I either play wingman or I get to hold his hand on the walk home so he doesn’t get scared of the dark. Given that choice I would much rather end up holding her hand on a walk than his.

“OK, Jase, let’s give it a shot. Next song?”

“Yeah, but if it’s a slow song we just ask to sit down, right? I mean, we don’t want them to think we’re just trying to hit on them.”

“Jason, it’s Friday night at Gomer’s fer Christ’s sake! They WILL know we’re hitting on them.”

“Alright, alright, let’s just go talk to them.”

Jason walked towards the table with a fresh longneck held low in his right hand as if this were Tombstone and someone were about to call “draw”. I swore softly to kill him and followed.

“Ladies! How ya doing this evening? Mind if we join you?” God, Jason, do you have to sound like a bad seventies disco movie? The longhaired beauty looked up at him with a forthcoming dismissal but you could see her hesitate as she met his eyes. I already mentioned that Jason was a looker.

“Why not,” she said, “We could use some company, right Kris?”

“Sure Debbie,” replied her brunette friend, “ Why not?”

“Great!” said Jason, “My name is Jason and my silent friend here is William.” I just nodded hello, caught off guard by my good fortune. Certainly the blonde was a swimsuit model style stunner but her friend was cute too. I had prepared myself for it to be otherwise and was now making Jason’s joke to be truth as I smiled and sat down.

The two girls were a study in contrast. Kris offset Debbie’s California cheerleader look with deep brown (almost black) hair cut in a roaring 20’s style bob. Whereas her friend’s features were sharp and angled, Kris had more softness to her face. When we got up to dance the same proved true in their bodies. While neither girl would be called either fat or skinny, Debbie had more of a leanness to go with her 5’8” frame. Kris’ 5’5” was fuller.

Jason fell into the simple-minded banter typical of those who are only trying to maintain someone’s interest for a short period of time. Not saying too much that could be controversial and trying to keep subjects in play that would allow him to appear knowledgeable. Debbie was obviously wise to the game but was playing it to her own advantage.

Kris seemed as content as I was to just kick back and listen, both to the music and the dancing that was going on across the table from us. We sat quietly for about 10 minutes until the two dancers had both finished their beers. I could see that Jason wanted to get up and go for a refill but he was also hesitant to break away from what he obviously thought was a winning situation. Seizing the opportunity, I rose from my seat while slipping my hand underneath that of the girl seated next to me.

“Another beer Debbie? Jason?” I said as I stood up, lifting Kris’ hand at the same time. She took the hint and stood up with me.

‘MGD please,” said Debbie, flashing a perfect smile that spoke of either good genetics or a lot of daddy’s money.

“Here, Will, this time on me, eh?” Jason handed me a twenty. Now I knew he was fascinated. The last time Jason was responsible for a round of drinks was when his pop announced the birth at the corner bar.

“Sure thing Jason,” I replied, trying not to show my surprise. It would not be cool to have Debbie pick up on the unusual event when Jason was trying to play it suave. He might have been a bit of a jerk but there are some things that a guy just should not do to another guy and sabotage on a Friday night is one of them. Kris and I turned and headed for the bar.

“Thanks,” said my new friend, “ It’s getting a little thick over there. I think Deb is looking to add another notch to her headboard.”

I looked down at Kris with a bemused smile. She gave me a grin that could best be described as mischievous.

“Don’t fret, I’m pretty used to it by now. Debbie and I have been roommates for two years and the whole time she’s been collecting pretty airheads the way you probably used to collect baseball cards. Don’t tell me you’re surprised. I could tell you already figured out who was in charge over there. Or I am overestimating you? You have the body of a dumb jock but I thought I saw some intelligence in your eyes.”

“No,” I said slowly, “I’ve pretty much figured out that Jason is in over his head. I didn’t realize the same was true of me until just now though.”

“Yeah right,” she replied, “Somehow I don’t think so. C’mon, buy me a drink and try to come up with a better line.”

Ok, now I was interested. Before I was just glad she was pretty. I admit to being a sucker for a girl with an attitude.

We picked up two beers for our friends while I got another vodka tonic and Kris ordered a Jack N’ Coke. As we neared the table the music changed to a slow jam and Jason and Debbie got up and headed for the dance floor. We set the drinks down and followed.

For the next couple of hours we alternated dancing and drinking while keeping sarcastic score on the progress of Jason and Debbie. At first the two of them were so busy thinking about what move they should make next that neither of them noticed the other was interested in the same objective, but somewhere around one a.m. they figured it out. From that point on they set up camp in a corner of the dance floor and locked lips until last call.

Meanwhile Kristina and I laughed and learned about each other. The DJ at Gomer’s was smart enough to end the night with a slow set and I leaned over during the last song and met with a very willing pair of lips. After a long slow kiss the song ended and the lights came up. Kris looked intensely into my eyes for a silent second.

“Christ, Will, fucking took you long enough! I’ve been waiting for that for at least an hour. Let’s grab those two and find someplace we can expand upon your final argument.”

I walked over to the corner where Debbie and Jason were still playing tonsil tag. “Hey Jason,” I announced, “Didja happen to notice that the lights came on? Time to hit the road.”

“Damn Will, I missed that…I’m a little distracted, if you catch my drift dude.”

“Guys,” Debbie broke in, “ Kris and I are going downstairs to the little girls room one last time. Meet the two of you outside?”

As we walked outside with most of the other patrons, Jason started in on what I knew was coming. After all, to notice anyone other than Debbie or the nearest mirror would have been a good five years over his maturity level.

“Hey Will, do you think you could handle trying to keep Debbie’s girlfriend occupied for a little while back at the dorms? I think I got a shot here tonight…”

“Ok Jason, just listen for once, alright. First, when you’ve been making out with a girl for an hour you obviously have more than just a possible chance. What the hell do think the girls are talking about right now? Debbie is asking Kristina the same thing.”

“Second, they drove an hour and a half from Waterloo to get here. They are not driving back tonight. Nor are they going to want to go straight back to Debbie’s parents house just yet. They’ve been drinking and will want to sober up a bit. Debbie is using a fake ID and won’t want to tip her parents off by showing up right as the bars close. Third, they are on foot, just like we are tonight. If you had been paying attention to what was said rather than proving you know all the lyrics to Vanilla Ice’s latest song you would know all this.”

“Finally, have you opened your fucking eyes all night? Kristina is just as hot as Debbie and you are damn straight I want to spend more time with her!”

“Well that’s nice to hear,” Kris whispered in my ear as her hands snaked around my waist from behind, “I’d hate to think I was boring you.”

“Hey ladies, where are we heading now?” said Jason; eager to pull attention away from the conversation the girls had interrupted. “Shall we take a walk in the moonlight?” He walked over to Debbie and put his arm around her. “I’ll keep you warm.” Jason pulled Debbie in tight on his right side and started up the street.

Kris was laughing lightly in my left ear, below her breath so that no one else could hear it. She took a playful bite at my earlobe and then snaked around beside me to rest her head on my left shoulder, her right hand slipping into the back pocket of my jeans.

“What’s so funny?” I asked quietly as Jason and Debbie settled into a slow pace a few steps ahead of us.

“Ask me later,” Kris replied, “Suffice it to say that I know how some things are going to turn out tonight. I think our friends are a good match. They have a lot in common.” She looked up at me and I did as instructed by her eyes and her smile and kissed her again. She squeezed with her hand and said, “Is this the shortest way? I’d like to get somewhere private as soon as possible.”

“Jason,” I called ahead, “Take the left on to Nutmeg. We’re gonna cut across the campus and head straight for the dorms.” The look he gave me told me that he thought he still needed to do some convincing on Debbie so I gave him the hard stare and tone of voice I would give one of my pitchers who had been shaking me off. “Trust me.”

As we approached the dorms a few minutes later Kris gave me a squeeze and a peck and said, “Give us a second, OK?” She steeped forward and pulled Debbie off to the side and Jason headed back towards me.

“Dude,” he said quietly, “What are you pulling? If you blow this for me…”

“Jason,” I replied in the same half whisper, “Did she object? There was already no doubt where we were headed when we left Gomer’s. Trust me. You’re already ahead in the count. Get aggressive and throw strikes or you’ll end up with a walk.”

“Shit, dude! Quit with the baseball crap and talk English. You think I’m already in?”

“Did she object when I said to head straight for the dorms? You figure it out. Now listen. See James’ light on? It is way after curfew. Head for the west door. That side the Resident Assistant’s light is off, plus I know that James has a mid-term on Monday. He is still awake studying and he’ll hear us. You know how he is, if he didn’t hear it or see it he’s cool but otherwise he’ll feel honor-bound to do his job. Just be quiet and head for your room. Don’t worry about me.”

“Thanks buddy,” Jason said, “ I owe you big for tonight.”

“Well,” I replied, “Let’s deal with that later.” Looking over Jason’s shoulder I caught the look I was getting from Kris and thought to myself that what he didn’t know didn’t hurt him.

We all snuck up the stairs and into our rooms without incident. I sighed in relief as I shut and locked the door. I had been half afraid that idiot boy was going to screw this up for both of us. As I turned around I saw Kris sitting on my bed in the light from the window.

The angle and light suited her so well it almost took my breath away. She held up a box of Marlboro Reds and raised her eyebrows.

“You smoke?”

“No, but my roomie does. Why, you want one?”

“Maybe later. After. Come here, you.”

I didn’t have to be asked twice. I moved to her side and captured that sarcastic tongue with my own. In private now, I let the stand back approach drop and showed her just how interested I really was, without the pretense of playing it cool. I knew the desire was mutual, and the way she responded to my ardor proved the point. Finally, after several minutes she moved her hands to my chest and created a little space.

“Damn, boy! Why you been holding out on me? Let me see if I can still breathe.” She gave a playful shake to her head. “What about that roommate you mentioned? Any chance that he’ll come home?”

“Not a one,” I replied, “He’s two and a half hours away. Get as comfortable as you like.”

“Then close those blinds,” Kris replied, “ but leave the lights off. After all, I barely know you.” This last was accompanied by a mischievous wink and smile.

“True,” I said, “But I want to see you. I like what I see already and I bet you’ll look even better underneath.” So saying, I grabbed matches and lit the couple of candles I usually burned to counter Andrew’s smoking. In my nervousness I almost dropped the matches twice. Did she realize the effect she was having on me? I shut both sets of blinds and turned around.

Judging by the look on her face and the half undone blouse she did know. She caught my eyes with hers as she undid the last couple of buttons and let the shirt drop open to reveal a lacy white bra. The contrast between the dark blouse and the bra made her breasts look even larger and more perfect. She let her shoes drop off her feet one at a time to clatter on the hard floor. My bed sat about waist high and she slipped off it and reached behind the small of her back. I heard her zipper and then she shook her hips slightly and the skirt followed the shoes. My eyes tracked up her legs and widened slightly as I noticed that the panties were obviously part of a matched set with the bra.

“You know, Kris, I have two sisters.” I approached her and slipped my hand under the blouse and around to the small of her back. “Both have mentioned at one time or another the significance of a girl making sure her underwear matches. Any truth to it?”

“You know, Will,” Kris replied, mimicking my tone and phrasing, “For someone who was so quiet at the bar you sure are using your mouth for the wrong thing now.”

Kris ran both her hands up my back quickly, pressing her nails into my flesh through my shirt in a way that was just short of painful, and buried them in my hair to roughly pull me down to kiss her. I didn’t resist. We played teasing games with each other, lips slightly parted to feel the quick thrust of a tongue on occasion. Every so often one of us would slip over to nibble an earlobe or nuzzle a neck. Time seemed unimportant but I’m sure that it was more than just a couple of minutes. I was having as much fun just kissing this girl as I often had all night with someone else.

Kris broke away from our kiss and pushed me a half step back as she leaned on the bed. She ran her fingers to the buttons of my shirt and started to undo them quickly and smoothly.