My name is Josh, and the story you are about to read changed my life. In good ways and bad. I am 31 years old, recently wedded of 2.5 years, to a beautiful and sweet woman named Erika. She is a very special person to me, and I have loved and worked hard to keep her happy to this day. I have a good job, making over $100,000 per year which has allowed Erika to stay at home the past year so she can focus more on some of her passions like volunteering, and dance. Today she is packing for her friend's wedding, that's she's a bridesmaid for, located in the Northeast. She is leaving tomorrow.
I am about 5'11, caucasian, tan, a fairly built 175 pounds and by most standards a good looking guy. Erika is also white, 5'4, 105 pounds, light auburn hair, fair skin, large 36C breasts, a nice small round ass, skinny waist with nice hips. Definitely an attractive woman. For context... deep down over the years I have struggled with confidence issues that reveal itself in more situations than most would think. Which in-particular over the past year has affected our activities in the bedroom. Somewhat negatively.
In my humble opinion though, I still feel our sex life is pretty decent. We fuck around 5-6 times per month. Mostly in the missionary, and her on top positions. She is hard to get off, and has become used to making excuses to me on why she can't orgasm / climax... probably just to make me feel better. Ha. We do not have oral sex anymore, not sure why, and with some recent stamina issues I can't last more than 6-7 minutes per time, at a pretty slow pace.
Even though Erika never said anything, I could tell that my stamina issues were beginning to frustrate her. So, behind her back, I saw a sex therapist about how to improve things physically between Erika and I.
He asked about our early relationship sex life, prior to marriage. I told him we were a couple of crazy kids then, having sex, oral, or both pretty much every night we saw each other. Then he asked for details.
I was a little embarrassed at first, but I opened up and was able to talk about it. I went into specific ways she used to perform blowjobs on me, my technique on how I would go down on her, the other sex positions we used to engage in. Standing up facing each other with my hands underneath her little round ass (one of her favorites, that she suggested) reverse cowgirl, on her back with 1 leg up, etc... I have a slightly above average sized penis, around 6.5" in length and average width. Not too shabby, right?
He said that was all good, but he noticed that I left out every man's favorite position. Doggystyle, with her on all fours, or standing up from behind with my hands on her hips. He said the fact I wasn't pursuing this position could be due to a lack of confidence. He also said that even though I established a decent level of intimacy and sensitivity with her, women also need their men to be in control & take charge from time to time.
So I thought about it, and yes, we used to engage in that type of sex from time to time... but not nearly as much halfway through our dating relationship & hardly ever during our married years. He pursued the topic and then asked me why? I told him I didn't know. Maybe because I would cum too quickly. But I knew it was a different answer... she never got off once in that position with me. Ever. I would try different variations, different speeds, dirty talk... nothing could coax any enthusiasm out of her. I mean, come on... who doesn't like to fuck their girl doggystyle? She just seemed very bored and disinterested.
He then asked if she ever praised me during sex? For example, does she compliment how i'm making her feel? Does she compliment my penis? Anything like that? I replied occasionally in the early days, but not at all lately. He said there is a chance that she is actually getting bored, that my lack of initiative was taking a negative toll, and that it was good we were having this talk so I could get things back on track. Our appointment then ended & we parted ways on that note. It was an interesting point, and I needed to think about it more.
After Erika went to bed that night, I started drinking. I poured some Crown Royal into a glass with some ice & fell into some deep thoughts. I thought more about the therapist's question, for hours. And then out of nowhere, it hit me! LIKE A TON OF BRICKS!! I couldn't believe it.
Prior to dating Erika, I did not have a ton of sexual experience. I only had sex with 4 different females for a grand total of something like 25 times. Erika had more experience. She had a boyfriend for 2 years, who broke up with her. And even though she had only had sex with 3 other different guys, she had mentioned a couple things that subconsciously struck a chord with me. The first being that she had sex probably 250 times with her boyfriend (makes sense, both were early 20's & in college + recently graduated). 10 times as much compared to my total.
She said her other partners weren't anything too special, and cut them off after a few times. And there were a handful of other guys that she didn't sleep with, just blowjob or handjob. She did not cheat though.
I then started to recap details about what she slipped / revealed to me over the years about her sexual experiences. One detail was absolutely striking. She told me that she had to use lube every time she had sex with that boyfriend. WHAT??? Who has to use lube every time they have sex, when they're healthy & attractive, and in their early 20's???
Then, connecting the dots more, I vaguely remembered one day coming home drunk. And then for some reason, in that exact moment, I was able to specifically recall every detail from that night, over 4 years ago! Like some kind of epiphany!
I remembered that I felt like snooping through her text messages. While snooping, I noticed she had kept her boyfriend's phone number and texts between the two of them. Weird. After scrolling a little I noticed there were slutty text exchanges, which I didn't want to read at first. But being a little tipsy my curiosity got the better of me. Three in particular stood out:
The first was about her bragging about the size of his dick to her friends. And that she needed lube so he could shove it in to fuck her! She said it was huge, at least 9 inches long & thick, and that she was lucky her boyfriend had such a big penis and knew exactly what to do with it.
That same text message revealed her saying his dick was so big that her jaw was sore again after giving him a blowjob in his car (while driving) on the way to a friend's house. Just like all the other times she went down on him at each other's apartments, parties, parent's houses, etc: