Wife Swapping - the Scheme

It all started on one Friday late night, my husband and I decided to watch a late night movie at home on our home theatre system. My husband decided to put on an old movie with a title, "All the loving couples" premiered in 1969! The movie had a sexual orientation and focused on an evening over dinner, drinks, flirting, games and lots of fun by four married couples socially meeting in comfortably affluent neighborhood, and the theme revolved around high society partying, drinking, games and much tabooed subject of wife swapping.

Even though movie was watched within the privacy of our home and in the company of just me and my husband, but I found it shameful and disgusting.

Unknown to me, after watching the movie my husband secretly started to research the subject. I learned later, my husband went on Goggle search engine and researched the topic of wife swapping in depth. I too couldn't stop thinking about the concept, even though I found it disgusting, yet erotic!

I was to later discover, my husband found out that there were many wife swapping groups operating in the country, in our city, in our town, and even our community. There were such groups based on liberal religious grouping, also ethnic as well as interracial groups, expatriate groups, local desi groups, amongst bankers, politicians, lawyers, bureaucrats, diplomats, army officers, police force, doctors, sports & celebrity circles, and also socialites, as well as social climbers.

My husband also stumbled upon an online wife swapping support group, where individuals were willing to help with how and where to find an appropriate group, tips on the best group to join, tips on how to tame an unwilling, or hesitant, or shy wife. He also found out there were social dating sites for couples, to meet & date couples and indulge in partner swapping. He picked the top rated group, called Swinger, registred & opened an account us as a swinger couple desirous of meeting swinger couple.

After a week long research, my husband decided to take me out for a dinner date and over a candle light dinner on a corner table softly broached with me the subject of wife swapping by referring to the movie we saw couple of weeks ago, and asked me about my thoughts on the subject.

This was the first time, we discussed the subject, and I straight away expressed by disgust and repulsion to the concept. He asked me for my reasons for feeling so strongly against it. I told him, it was immoral, against our family values, our upbringing, against our religious believe, and our social norms.

I then hastened to add, if you ever indulge in sexual intercourse with another woman, I will never have sex with you, as I can't bear the thought of you entering another woman and then penetrating me with your disgusting and dirty dick. I added, after extramarital sex, using my body and my vagina for your pleadure will tantamount to degrading me to be your keep, or, as if I am a slut. Strangely, I did not feel, in partnering in a sexual activity with another man, I will in anyway be violated or be lesser pure or undesirable for my husband.

On hearing my strong views, my husband was visibly upset as obvious from his face turning red, but he maintained his composure, did not say much, and tried to change the subject. To my surprise, instead of trying to prevail on me, or persuade me, he reassured me that he will never do anything against my will, and desire, even though he strongly felt his proposal was good with benefits for our marital relationship. He felt, we were drifting away as a married couple, we both felt bored of predictable sexual interaction, we were losing intimacy and sexual excitement, and were only involved in a monotonous sexual exercise.

He then, gently took my hand in his hands, and softly kissed the back of my palm. Whispering to me, how much he loved me, and cannot bear the thought of upsetting me, or losing me. He softly, repeated in whisper that I was his love, his life line, and first and last desire, and his indecent proposal was only to create more love, bonding & affection between us.

The rest of the evening was very sweet and beautiful and on returning home, we made passionate love. I started to feel sorry for my loving & caring husband, for being so unreasonable and so blunt in rejecting his proposal, and felt I had acted very selfishly in my reaction.

My next few days were shrouded with absolute guilt, because that night whereas, I was physically engaged in love making with my husband, but mentally & emotionally, he was far away from me, and I was all along thinking of sex with other men I fancied in my dull & drab life, who I admired, or had crush on, like my ex boyfriend from my college days, or Richard Gere, or David Beckham, or our tall, young & handsome gardener, or my husband's boss, or my friend's husband, or even our elderly but very elegant neighbour who owned a red convertible sports car.

The movie from a week ago, the romantic dinner with my husband last night, a lustful and passionate over powering love making with my husband (when I was physically with him, but emotionally & mentally in a distant space & in a fantasyland) with all the hunks, who my heart so desired. All those thoughts were playing on my mind, and dark traits of my personality; opportunism, insensitivity, self-obsession, and thrill-seeking got better of me. I was constantly in a twisted state of mind, demented, bewildered, addled & muddled, befuddled & disoriented.

For next many days, weeks and months, I was living in a life of my own. In a dream & fanciful delusional world with other men in my life. I was unaware of my self compassion, lack of focus & lack of mindfulness, as also, the lack of interaction and communication between my husband & me. My husband also seem aloof, and did not even once brought up the subject, or any mention of partner swapping.

Notwithstanding the foregoing, my mind was constantly preoccupied by one and only one thought - partner swapping, it's impact on my future life, inner excitement, my secret desires, all the negativity was eroding, and with each passing day, the urge, wish for, desire, yearning, craving, longing was growing leaps and bounds! My disgust and repulsion for partner swapping had somewhat vanished. Instead, I felt a strange deep rooted insurrection of erotic and ecstatic desire, fervour, enthusiasm, zeal, passion. My heart was set on making it happen.

I started my own Google search and investigation. I read both merits and demerits of it. Read hundreds of blogs, expert opinions. The more, I dug deeper, the more I realized it was something I wanted to do for so long, but didn't have the courage to admit it. After pondering about it for the past several months, I decided it would be wrong to not fulfill my desires. Especially, when I have a husband who too feels the same, and will be supportive of my deeper inner feelings.