As a female contributor to the site I have grown tired of the anonymous keyboard warriors criticising or adding useless comments. If you don't enjoy my story find another! I have turned comments off for this and future contributions as a result of the minority who are exactly that. I appreciate my followers and appreciative and constructive criticism. My readers are constructive and helpful. Several have asked me to write about them and one story series is the result and one off stories are also online or in the pipeline proof read by their inspirations.
Liam had been a good husband to Carol. They married when she was 21 and a virgin. He was a railway worker who made up freight trains in a yard in South London with the assistance of an elderly driver and a diesel locomotive. The quarter mile long trains would be collected by large diesel locomotive units and travel to freight handling yards throughout England.
They lived in a small ground floor flat in East Dulwich. Carol worked as a librarian, a job she loved and moved from library to library. She particularly loved Children's Library activity. Over the 7 years of her marriage she worked 6 days a week and loved her job.
One day at work Liam had an accident, lost his footing and fell as the shunter had pushed two container cars down to join a train. Liam had fallen and his leg was severed by two wheels of the bogie which stopped the shunt. Liam passed out and nearly died on the way to hospital where surgeons completed an amputation. He lost a great deal of blood and was in an induced coma with multiple transfusions. In the course of his hospital stay cancer was diagnosed. Three months after his accident he was referred for palliative care and died a month later.
Liam had taken all this calmly to the astonishment of everyone. Carol was the one who needed counselling and later grief counselling.
She thought of the years of sex together. She had loved the gentle rhythm Liam had entering her first with his mouth then with his penis. He was gentle inside her; she had squeezed him and together slowly they would arrive at mutual climax. She found him sexy enough to want him inside her every night and when she had a period he wasn't bothered and would give her whatever she asked for. She loved the feel and smell of him and her thick long hairy bush loved to be rubbed by his hard prick. She found excitement even during her periods from his licking her breast, nipples and stroking her bottom cheeks. Liam was silent in bed, she asked for and got what excited her. She loved to wash his prick and balls.
She missed him every day and was warm and wet constantly sometimes the memories of him but more often her desire for sex again, She had developed an appetite for a man inside her over the years and now alone this had grown.
Her counsellor asked one time, "Carol what are you missing most about Liam. these days?"
"Well er our sex together more than anything else I miss him inside me."
"Have you found this a difficulty?"
"Oh yes I have a appetite for him but also feel a daily need for sex."
"Would you say this has increased your sexual desire?"
"Yes enormously I feel I am on heat but a male relationship has been out of my mind-I still talk to Liam all the time when I am alone. I have a good social life with colleagues and friends. I even go out on my own happily but between my legs I am always ready for sex!"
"Have you heard the expression "Widows Fire"? "
Carol shook her head.
"It is used to describe the increased hormonal drive which brings intense desire for sex. It is common in women who have lost a sexual partner and is a natural physical and emotional reaction to loss of a partner."
Carol went on to describe her marital sex life and she felt much better emotionally to know she could talk to someone. Her counsellor suggested she got her IUD replaced and picked up free condoms to be prepared for any sexual encounter.
Carol wasn't ready for another man, she had never masturbated in her life and felt too shy to talk to strangers or meet anyone for a date. There had been the usual workplace "I find Librarians very attractive" types which caused laughter at the customer counter. At break times female librarians swapped experiences of the fantasy chat up lines. The library computers flagged up reader cards for attempted log ins for pornography. The users were banned from the computers or even banned from the borough's libraries. All users had terms and conditions displayed by every computer.
Carol wanted to move from her flat and she used the exchange scheme and after several months she found a mutual exchange to a council house on a common. She was given a view of fields and woods and had a house built after the first World War, one of the "Homes fit for Heroes" estates built on the common and the site of an old farm.. It was the one council owned property that was not owner occupied in the lane on the edge of the old estate. She faced the corner of a council run cemetery and a wooded area of the old common. The local council had handed over it's housing stock to a number of housing associations to manage but retained freehold on the land. She had a housing association landlord and two bedrooms in a newly insulated and reglazed house with a modern new heating system. "Liam would have loved this!" but he would be a long way from a rail yard. Carol applied to the local contractor who ran the library service and was employed at the local library which she could walk to and was appointed as Senior Librarian drawing up staff rosters as well as working on stock control. She loved the house and work, easily made friends and was grateful for the privacy of her home and garden. Here she felt more confident of having a male guest visit.
Carol dreamt of sex and her recurring hot wet dreams at night involved strangers entering her and coming inside her. The strangers were faceless and it was their dick length and thickness she was focussed on in her dreams. She often woke to a sexual climax groaning her orgasms to a stop.
"I wish... I so badly need to suck off and be shagged by someone".
Another form of stranger dream involved a repair man visiting her and seeing her wet bush. Again no face just eager licking mouth and as she bent forward a dick slid into her from behind. Some weeks Carol could have wet orgasms 3 or 4 times a week. There were periods when she came too as her tampons expanded her internally she became more aroused in her sleep.
"Liam, my love, the time has come when I need a real dick inside and I need to suck a clean man off too like we always did together"
With Liam's agreement she now had to find a man, preferably a stranger who would be gentle inside her. She looked in the wardrobe mirror doors at her naked body. She decided to keep the long bush of black hair but shave her hairy armpits and legs. She often wore no underwear to work beneath her slip and knee length or lower skirt. She didn't feel a short skirt was really her but if that was what it would take to show herself to a man she might add one or two.
She had dreamed a lot about college students and she had several come to the library too. She firmly rejected the idea of picking anyone up at the library although one of her staff was a good looking school leaver....
