When We Were Young

CHAPTER SIX: SIX YEARS AGO

Almost two weeks later, the negative pregnancy test lifted the heaviest weight ever off my chest. Even though it was early in the morning, early enough that my sisters and Mom were still sleeping, I went over to Mr. Joyner's and banged on the front door. When he answered, wearing his housecoat, I shifted nervously from foot-to-foot. "Is Beck home?"

Looking over the state of me in my pajamas with bare feet, Mr. Joyner replied, "It better be important."

"It is, I promise."

"I'll wake him up for you." He sighed heavily. "Why don't you head back home and put on some clothes, Mariana? I'll send him over."

I blushed as I realized my nipples were out in the cool air. I crossed my arms tight over my chest and replied, "Right, yes, of course."

Embarrassed, I dashed back inside, yanked on a hoodie, and sat at the kitchen table with my stomach a ball of nerves. Even though I knew this was objectively good news, I still felt somehow ashamed to tell him. Like I'd done something wrong. I tried to push the feeling down, blaming it on internalized misogyny, and grabbed some leftovers from the potluck for an easy breakfast. Nothing like pasta salad to soothe the mind.

Beck opened the side door into the kitchen without knocking. His eyes were wide with nerves as he sat down across from me. "So...how are you doing? Have you-"

"I'm not pregnant," I interrupted him. "I'm sorry for avoiding you. I just-"

"I understand. Don't worry about it." Beck scooted his chair around the table and took my hand in his. "I'm sorry about all the stress. I'm sure it's been a lot for you."

My eyes soft, I leaned in closer to him and pressed my forehead to his. "And for you?"

"I learned all the appropriate steps to taking a few semesters off at UMass, at least; never know when that information might be useful."

I shoved his shoulder lightly. "I'd never expect you to do that, to leave your whole life behind, even if-"

"Of course I would." He kissed me and then straightened up. "I'm a good guy; I hope you know that by now. I'd always step up -- however you needed me to."

I moved across the space between us and sat on his lap. His arms instinctively went to my lower back as he held me close. I kissed him on the forehead and assured him, "Same here. We'll just be more careful from here on out."

"Agreed."

I rested my forehead in the crook of his shoulder, taking in the fresh scent of his clothes and his aftershave, and added, "I don't regret a thing, though."

Against my ear, voice rumbling, he asked, "Really?"

"Really," I promised. "It was perfect."

Then his voice was layered with flirtation. He gently bit my ear, sending a shiver down my spine, and asked, "Good enough to earn me a repeat performance?"

In return, I kissed my way up his neck, back to his lips. "Definitely."

"Let's go out on a date, Mari," he replied, pulling back and looking at me intensely. His green eyes never failed to take my breath away. "A real one, I mean. Fancy outfits, candlelight, the whole thing."

"I don't exactly have money for a Michelin star."

He insisted, "I'm inviting you out. It's all my treat. Don't even think about it. We'll go up to the city, somewhere ritzy, drink champagne, and I'll get us a hotel room."

I laughed. "We're both underage."

"Then we'll get drunk on each other."

I rolled my eyes and kissed him again. "Friday?"

"Friday," he agreed with a grin. "I'll wear a blazer, you wear high heels, I'll borrow my uncle's car."

Mom's voice cut through from around the corner. "And you'll have her home by midnight, Beckett?"

"Mom!" I protested, nervously hopping off his lap. "Do you mind?!"

She snickered at my reddening cheeks. "Some of us have work today, Mariana. I came down for my coffee in my kitchen in my house." Turning toward Beck, she asked, "Can I get you anything, dear?"

"No thank you, Mrs. Pisano." He gave me an awkward, polite look with his hands in his pockets like a red-handed school kid. "I'll get going, then. See you Friday, Mari."

She laughed whole-heartedly as she put on a kettle. "Ah, young love. Keep her as long as you want as long as there's no drugs, no alcohol, and no unprotected sex."

Beck's cheeks flamed. Even though I hadn't told her anything, we couldn't help feeling the weight of her words. He said, "That much I can promise you."

"Good. Then she's all yours. Whatever stops her from sitting in her bedroom, wrapped up in her robe, longingly staring over at your door, waiting for you to-"

"Mom!" I smacked her arm and glared. "Seriously?"

"Oh please, he knows you're smitten."

Beck joined her tease this time. "I definitely do. Can't keep her away."

I rolled my eyes. "Get out of here before I beat you up."

"I could take you."

"You'd better."

Mom threw her hands up as her kettle whistled. "Alright, that's enough teenage horniness for one morning. Beck, do you think your uncle could spare you this evening to help me replace some screws on the fence out back? Call it my daughter's dowry."

He chuckled. "Of course, Mrs. Pisano. No problem at all."

"Good. Be here before the sun sets, alright?"

"Will do. I'll see you then."

Feeling brave, he swooped in and kissed me on the cheek, giving my hand a squeeze before heading out the door.

Mom handed me a cup of coffee with a smarmy, maternal smile on her face. "You two make an awfully cute couple."

I grimaced. "Yeah, we would if he weren't going back to school three thousand miles away in a month and a half."

She sighed. "Nothing gold can stay."

I tried not to let tears bite at my eyes; I wasn't going to cry over a summer fling, even if it was as wonderful as this one. I bit my lip and said, "Whatever. I'm going back upstairs."

"Don't be grouchy because a cute boy wants to spend time with you," she called after me, still smiling at her ability to get under my skin. "Savor it!"

For the rest of the afternoon, I played phone tag with my friends, caught up on emails, and worked on more and more job applications for the fall. Whether I was going to take a gap year and travel or start a college semester in the spring, I'd need at least a few months of working and staying at home to save up. My last summer job had filled my seasonal position with a permanent one, so I was shit out of luck there. By the time I heard Beck outside with my mom pulling out and replacing nails in our old fence, I'd killed a whole day without thinking about much of anything.

I heard the back door open and close once -- Mom coming in -- and then, a few moments later, she hollered up that she was going to the grocery store. I listened to her car start, the garage open, and her tires peel out.

Then the back door opened a second time.

Beck.

My heart raced. I knew he was sneaking up here to see me. I didn't even have time to scramble off my bed and change out of my ratty tee and sweatpants. Plus, I had my hair up in a messy bun, no makeup, legs that hadn't been shaved in a week.

My bedroom door squealed open. Beck, still sweaty and in his work clothes, peeked around the door into my bedroom. Unlike me, he was gorgeous after a day of not trying to be: Tousled hair, chiseled jaw, sweat that outlined his muscles. He was the guy on a Home Depot ad fixing up his deck and building a garden for his beautiful wife and two beautiful children and beautiful golden retriever.

I pulled my blanket high up around my chest and laughed. "Don't you dare look at me when I'm like this."

"I believe that's my decision to make." He walked over and yanked the blanket back, careful not to get any of his sweat or grime on my stuff. Immediately, my pussy responded to nothing more than the confidence of his energy. "Stand up for me."

Giggling a little, I stood up in front of him and gestured to show off my outfit. "Summer camp counselor tee, old sweats. Very sexy look."

His fingers went to the hem of the shirt. He tugged it upward, revealing first my taut stomach and then the underside of my breasts and, finally, all the way to my nipples. Beck rubbed his thumbs over each of them. I sucked in a sharp breath. He told me in a low, sultry voice, "The less between me and this, the better. Are you even wearing panties?"

My own voice shook a bit. He had a crazy effect on me. "In the privacy of my own bedroom? Wouldn't dare."

He tugged the shirt over my arms and asked, nodding to the adjoining bedroom that went into Sienna's old room while still watching my breasts. "Any interest in helping me clean up? I could definitely use a shower."

I feigned innocence. "But my mother could be home any second."

He chuckled darkly. "That's half the fun."

I shimmied out of my sweats, took him by the hand, and led him to the shower. While the water got hot, I took his shirt off, too, and went for his belt. His hands went to my hair as I undid the buckle. His lips went to mine as I freed his cock, which was hardening by the second. I muttered, "I've missed this."

Beck exhaled sharply as my fingers wrapped around his shaft. "Christ, me too."

The water began to steam up the mirrors, so we stepped into the shower, Beck holding my hand like a gentleman as I stepped over the tub's rim. He stood in the stream of the water and held me close to keep me warm, too, occasionally bending down to kiss my cheeks, my forehead, my lips. I reached over for my shampoo and, once his hair was wet, started working it through his sandy waves. Beck closed his eyes, relishing in my touch.

Now that we'd had sex, it felt even more intimate to be with him. Just rinsing his hair out created a tug inside of me that pulled me to him. He rested his hands on the top of my ass, right at the base of my back, and gently massaged the knots that lived there with his thumbs. We didn't speak to each other for a while. I lathered him with body wash, running my fingers over his torso and the sharp V that led from his hips down to his perfect cock. When I soaped up his thighs, his dock rose to attention, begging to be with me.

Suddenly, Beck pushed me backwards against the tile, taking care to hold me up with his strong arms, and his fingers went directly to my clit, sliding over my entrance to collect the slickness that was waiting there. He groaned as he started to circle my clit, "You're irresistible."

I gasped because he was going fast and insistent, knowing how to touch me without teasing and without rushing at the same time. "Trust me, the feeling is mutual."

While his fingers worked my pussy, Beck's mouth went to my neck, where he sucked hard from my collarbone all the way to my jaw. I squirmed with each change in pressure and the new sensitivities that came with them. My thighs shook. I was so needy for him that I couldn't help the way I writhed and moaned, no matter how much I tried to suppress the sounds I was making in case somebody came home while we were in here.

Right before the moment my pussy was ready to release into bliss, he pulled his fingers away and then licked them off. I groaned and shoved him on the chest. His eyes sparkled with mischief. "That frustrating?

"You're the devil."

He kissed my nose, turned off the water, and smirked. "Then you're my angel."

"Your goddess," I corrected with my own coy smile.

"My goddess," he agreed. His thumb traced over my cheek. "You're right."

"I always am."

His fingers ran down the side of my arm, following a droplet of water that dripped from my hair. He grabbed a towel off the rack and wrapped me in it. I felt...cared for. It was new and different. The breath I took was heavy.

"I'll see you Friday night. I'm thinking six," Beck said as he tugged his jeans on, leaving his dirty shirt off, and his eyes trailed over my legs one more time, a split second from being exposed for him to play with. He closed the gap between us and kissed me, hard and deep, before saying with a commanding tone, "Don't touch yourself before then."

My cheeks turned pink and I protested, "You don't know that I would've-"

"You were going to make yourself cum the second I left." He chuckled and kissed me again. "I can tell you're not someone who likes to wait. But, trust me, it'll be worth it."

*****

On Friday evening, Bianca and Sienna and Mom were all over me while I got ready for my date. I tried to ignore them, but it became Sisyphean at a certain point with three women buzzing around me for my first ever fancy date. Until now, dates had consisted of chain restaurants, movies on couches, and long drives up the coast, all aimed at cheap evenings and cheaper connections.

Tonight, I was full of butterflies and fireflies as I meticulously shaved my legs, moussed my curls into beachy waves, and applied makeup like I rarely did. Sharp winged liner, lips a deep rosy red, blushing cheeks. When I returned to my bedroom, each of my family members had pulled a different outfit from my closet. I sighed as I looked them over.

"That's too sexy," Mom protested to a short skirt and strappy heels.

Sienna argued to a frumpy dress from the back of the closet, "Not sexy enough."

"And, as usual," Bianca said as she presented her pick, "I'm right."

I laughed and took the outfit -- one of those dresses I'd bought on sale for "a special occasion" that I hadn't found yet -- from her hands. Nobody presented any objections. Shooing them away with a wave, I announced, "The jury is dismissed with prejudice. Thank you for your time and your intrusion into my personal life."

As I shoved them out of my bedroom, they all giggled like third-grade coconspirators. Beck, across the driveway, flickered the lights in his bedroom a couple times. When I looked over, he held up five fingers. I grinned at him and nodded. Five more minutes until we'd agreed to meet outside. I couldn't believe Mr. Joyner was letting Beck borrow his old convertible Corvette that he usually kept under a sheet in the garage. Maybe he just wanted someone to enjoy it for once.

I shimmied into the classy-but-sultry dress that had been waiting for its moment to shine in my closet for a year or maybe more. It was silk, which was what had made me snatch it greedily off the sale rack, and draped to highlight my hips and waist. With off-the-shoulder sleeves and a structured bust, it managed to support my breasts without needing a bra. Honestly, it was the kind of dress that could've been made custom for my body. And it was this light, light brown, almost cream, that made my tan skin and summer freckles stand out. Frankly, the whole getup made me feel like some Greek goddess who'd just walked out of the sea foam and onto the sandy, brown sugar shore.

Beck's goddess.

I made myself blush thinking about him.

Then I picked out one of my few pairs of cute shoes, a sort of Grecian sandal that brought the whole look together. For jewelry, I went with a simple, dainty gold necklace and a pair of drop earrings that matched, with small pearls on the end that shone when light hit them. They'd been a gift from my nonna before she died, and I almost never let myself wear them out of fear of losing one of my last pieces of her. But she'd want me to put them on when I felt my most confident, safe, and valued.

After heading downstairs, I took a few deep breaths, grabbed my overnight bag from by the door, and stepped into another flawless coastal summer evening. Beck was waiting for me by the car, adjusting the cuffs of his blazer one last time and looking just as nervous as I did. He wore a two-piece suit, navy blue, with the top few buttons undone on the pastel blue shirt below. The inch of exposed upper chest was weirdly enough to have me fantasizing.

The sound of the door closing behind me made him stand up straight. When Beck looked up at me, one lock of hair curled over his forehead like he was picking me up for the sock-hop, I had to catch my breath -- something I thought only existed in Mom's romance novels. His eyes roved unabashedly from my calves upward. He took his time thoroughly and completely taking in the sight of me.

Beck took my hand in his and raised it to his lips. He kissed my hand almost reverently and I wondered if it were possible for me to blush any more than I already was. It seemed unlikely. Then, he pulled me closer and kissed my cheek. In a low, earnest voice, he said, "You look ravishing, Ms. Pisano."

I squeezed his fingers and said, "I'd call you Mr. Joyner, but I don't think either of us want to think about your uncle tonight."

"You're absolutely right about that, Mari." He sucked in a breath and let it out slowly. As if to himself, he said, "My Mari."

There was something bittersweet between us, too, in the knowledge that all of this was as temporary as it was divine. Still, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and let him hold me for a moment, my toes barely on the ground, until I'd forgotten all about it. Still holding my hand, Beck opened the front door for me and guided me into the sleek vintage car.

In a moment, he reappeared in the driver's side. I could tell that he couldn't wait to get his hands on the meticulously, scrupulously cared-for Corvette. The engine purred and Beck smiled. He turned to me and asked, "Convertible up or down?"

"Down, obviously."

He tucked a curl behind my ear and teased, "Won't it mess up your hair?"

I laughed and replied, "Who cares? How often am I going to be in a car like this, with a boy like this, on a night like this?"

"Fair enough."

"And I'm sure they'll have a bathroom at the restaurant."

"If their website is accurate, I can promise you that much."

With the touch of a button, the car's top collapsed slowly backwards, exposing us to the open air. I took out my cat-eye sunglasses and put my hand on Beck's thigh. "Now whisk me away, pretty boy."

He chuckled and pressed the gas. "As the lady wishes."

The Corvette hummed beneath us as Beck drove smoothly down through town and then up the winding coastal highway, the late summer air rushing through the car, tangling my curls but thrilling every other part of me. The sky, painted in hues of pink and lavender, began to melt into twilight. The ocean stretched out beside us, glittering in the last bits of sunlight, while the horizon blurred into the warm glow of the city lights on the other side of the bay.

As we whipped down toward the city, I lifted my hands up over my head and let the wind brush through my fingers. Beck glanced over at me with a wide smile, his hand briefly resting on my leg before returning to the wheel. "Happy?"

I nodded and closed my eyes so I could focus on committing this moment to my long-term memory. "Incandescently."

He chuckled and revved the engine.

With every mile, the landscape shifted from rugged coastline to the unmistakable skyline, the golden city lights beginning to twinkle as we approached. The buildings rose up in front of us, and the streets grew busier, but there was something intimate about the moment, like the city existed just for us. Before long, we found ourselves winding through downtown toward a ritzy hotel I didn't recognize. As we rounded the corner, the grand entrance of the hotel came into view, framed by manicured palm trees and bright, glittering lights. The valet station was bustling, and the red carpet that led into the lobby beckoned with a certain elegance.

Beck slowed the car as we approached the entrance, pulling up smoothly to the front. He shifted into park. A valet appeared in the window and he handed the keys over. Then Beck walked around the car to open my door. As he extended his hand, I took it with a smile, feeling like I'd just stepped into a world far removed from the everyday. This was my red carpet and he was my award.

Beck helped me out of the car, one hand on my waist and the other my hand. His fingers lingered at my waist and I think he realized I wasn't wearing a bra for the first time. As we stepped away from the car, he asked. "Hungry?"