What Did You Do Friday Night?
I Got Laid
Based on the movie GO
Part I: Ronna & Manny
Disclaimer:
I did not come up with the characters personalities or descriptions. GO is on video on Tri-Star/Columbia Home Video and is rated R and a very funny movie, I recommend you to see it.
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RONNA:
I was working at the cash register on December 24 and it was boring as hell. Some crack whore was really confused about coupons. I just stood there and registered her items she had bought.
"Paper or plastic?" I asked.
The crackwhore was checking her coupons while she had her little girl in the other hand.
"Paper or plastic"I asked again but she refused to answer.
"PAPER OR PLASTIC?" I asked in a furious, annoyed voice.
"Both." The crackwhore said.
I started to put bleach and some steak in a bag and the crackwhore stopped me.
"You can't do that, it's poison." She said.
I then took out the bleach and wrapped it in plastic and put it in the same bag with the steak.
"Don't think your something your not, I used to have your job," the crackwhore said while looking at me.
"Look at where it got you," I said for a comeback.
After I was done with crackwhore, it was time for me to end work. I went in the backroom of the store and Simon was on the phone and Claire was watching TV. I then heard Claire whisper.
"Don't." Claire whispered.
"Why not?" Simon asked.
"Because she has been on it for 14 hours." Claire replied.
"Oh well." Simon said. Simon then walked over to me with his mistle toe.
"Ronna..." Simon said.
"NO." I said.
"Why not? Christmas is a time for giving..." Simon said.
"The answer is still no." I said.
"Why?"
"I'm getting evicted tomorrow."
"They wouldn't evict you at Christmas time, then you would be ho-ho-homeless."
"Oh well, mistletoe?" Simon said having the mistletoe hang out at his penis as I walked away.
I went outside and Simon was still bugging me.
"Please Ronna. My best mates are going to Vegas and I never been, I've been told it's incredible. I'll pay you cash upfront." Simon said with the cash in his hand.
"Deal." I said as I took the cash out of his hand. "I'll give you an extra $20 for a blow job!" Simon yelled.
So I went back to work and was working with Claire and Manny. It was during our break time and we decided to get high in the freezers. Manny, Claire, and I had smoked a joint. While we were smoking, we played a game called Dead Celebrities where you had to name a celebrity that was dead under that letter. I said Malcolm X and Claire and Manny got all mad at me.
"That's like a rule, you can't name anyone under the X name." Manny said as he looked at me with his stoned eyes.
"He's famous though, and he's dead." I said.
We all argued and then our boss pulled the juices out of the way and asked us who was going to be up front. Manny, Claire, and I went back to work.
There were these two preppy guys but very hot guys waiting in line while I was registering their good that they had bought.
It was nothing but Orange Juice.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR STUCK IN CHICAGO?!" This tall blonde gentleman said on his cell phone, "damn it, now we can't have any fun." He said to a short brunette male. They were whispering about something and then the blonde gentleman asked me if the British guy (Simon) still worked here.
"He's in Vegas for the weekend." I said.
"Well, umm the British guy usually hooks us up with Ecstasy...do you know anything about that?" The blonde man said. I looked over to make sure no one was around.
"How much?" I asked.
"20 /20...there is this big party..." The blonde gentleman said as the brunette gentleman gave me this invitation to a rave party.
"Mary X-Mas Superfest..." I said as I looked at the invite.
"See, our friend is stuck in Chicago and he usually pulls through for us, so if you can do anything, please, get us 20/20 hits of Ecstasy."
"Give me your name and number and address and I will see what I can do." I said with a smile.
"Kick ass." The blonde guy said smiling.
"So are you gonna buy all this OJ or what?" I asked.
"We sure are." He said.
Later that night, Manny, Claire, and I went to Todd Gaines, which was Simon's dealer to get the 20 hits of Ecstasy. I went to his apartment building and asked him if I could come up. He said sure and he letted me in.
His apartment was really messy and some brunette girl was leaving.
"Be good..." Todd said to the girl as she was leaving, "So, Ronna, I take it this is not a social call is it?" he said.
"No it isn't, I need a favor."
"Wow Ronna, I didn't realize that we were such good friends. You know I get head before I give favors."
"I need a 20/20 of Ecstasy."
Todd then came up to me and kissed me and asked me to take off my shirt. I had on a black shirt with a red spaghetti strap shirt underneath with a black bra. I wear a 36C bra and Todd motioned me to turn around.
I turned around very slowly and I felt so uncomfortable. All of a sudden, Todd turned down his stereo.
"HOW WOULD YOU FUCK ME?!" Todd yelled.
"Todd, I would never fuck you like that...there is this big party and I guess this guy's brother got stuck in Chicago and can't come through for them with his ecstasy. So please? Just this once?" I asked.
"Alright...fine...you owe me big time, Ronna." Todd said as he was sorting the ecstasy out.
I watched him sort the ecstasy out as he was talking to me.
"This is not the crunchy herbal rave shit, one fun ride per head banger, if not followed, you will be frying eggs at the hospital, is this understood?" Todd said in a serious voice.
"Yes." I said.
"OK, 20/20 is $300" Todd said.
"All I have is $250, please accept it. It's like a down payment. I will come back with the rest of the money when they show up." I said.