What Did You Do Friday Night?
I Got Laid
Based on the movie GO
Part I: Ronna & Manny
Disclaimer:
I did not come up with the characters personalities or descriptions. GO is on video on Tri-Star/Columbia Home Video and is rated R and a very funny movie, I recommend you to see it.
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RONNA:
I was working at the cash register on December 24 and it was boring as hell. Some crack whore was really confused about coupons. I just stood there and registered her items she had bought.
"Paper or plastic?" I asked.
The crackwhore was checking her coupons while she had her little girl in the other hand.
"Paper or plastic"I asked again but she refused to answer.
"PAPER OR PLASTIC?" I asked in a furious, annoyed voice.
"Both." The crackwhore said.
I started to put bleach and some steak in a bag and the crackwhore stopped me.
"You can't do that, it's poison." She said.
I then took out the bleach and wrapped it in plastic and put it in the same bag with the steak.
"Don't think your something your not, I used to have your job," the crackwhore said while looking at me.
"Look at where it got you," I said for a comeback.
After I was done with crackwhore, it was time for me to end work. I went in the backroom of the store and Simon was on the phone and Claire was watching TV. I then heard Claire whisper.
"Don't." Claire whispered.
"Why not?" Simon asked.
"Because she has been on it for 14 hours." Claire replied.
"Oh well." Simon said. Simon then walked over to me with his mistle toe.
"Ronna..." Simon said.
"NO." I said.
"Why not? Christmas is a time for giving..." Simon said.
"The answer is still no." I said.
"Why?"
"I'm getting evicted tomorrow."
"They wouldn't evict you at Christmas time, then you would be ho-ho-homeless."
"Oh well, mistletoe?" Simon said having the mistletoe hang out at his penis as I walked away.
I went outside and Simon was still bugging me.
"Please Ronna. My best mates are going to Vegas and I never been, I've been told it's incredible. I'll pay you cash upfront." Simon said with the cash in his hand.
"Deal." I said as I took the cash out of his hand. "I'll give you an extra $20 for a blow job!" Simon yelled.
So I went back to work and was working with Claire and Manny. It was during our break time and we decided to get high in the freezers. Manny, Claire, and I had smoked a joint. While we were smoking, we played a game called Dead Celebrities where you had to name a celebrity that was dead under that letter. I said Malcolm X and Claire and Manny got all mad at me.
"That's like a rule, you can't name anyone under the X name." Manny said as he looked at me with his stoned eyes.
"He's famous though, and he's dead." I said.
We all argued and then our boss pulled the juices out of the way and asked us who was going to be up front. Manny, Claire, and I went back to work.
There were these two preppy guys but very hot guys waiting in line while I was registering their good that they had bought.
It was nothing but Orange Juice.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR STUCK IN CHICAGO?!" This tall blonde gentleman said on his cell phone, "damn it, now we can't have any fun." He said to a short brunette male. They were whispering about something and then the blonde gentleman asked me if the British guy (Simon) still worked here.
"He's in Vegas for the weekend." I said.
"Well, umm the British guy usually hooks us up with Ecstasy...do you know anything about that?" The blonde man said. I looked over to make sure no one was around.
"How much?" I asked.