Dr. Susan Cannoni's 'lapse of judgement' with her fellow astronauts aboard the International Space Station had come after weeks of missing her husband at home, and following a long period of sexual abstinence. She had been so immersed in training for the mission, she had actually redirected her sex drive towards excelling at everything else, prior to mission takeoff. Doug, for his part, had completely understood her need to succeed in this, a male-dominated enterprise, and had resigned himself to waiting until she got home to resume their sex life. For Susie, however, once she and her crew were aboard, the desires all came flooding back. Her dreams were constantly about sex - with Doug, but also with the men she had come to rely on so heavily for her safety, and her very life. When Alan Martiniz had interceded in the midst of her sleep-induced masturbation, she naturally transferred, in her mind, the desire for her husband to Alan.
The rest of the crew, led by Bob Bannon and Joachim Fontanalle, and eagerly joined by Steve Hoffmeyer, managed to take advantage of her period of weakness, which she regretted immediately afterward. Only Dr. Ivan Hurst, the older physics advisor, seemed able to allow Susie her dignity, by not joining in like the rest. For this, she was grateful, but almost more embarrassed to deal with him now than anyone else.
When he finally asked her to come to his lab, almost two weeks after, she dreaded facing Dr. Hurst, but it was pointless to try to avoid him, she knew. Once at his module, he closed the hatch so they could talk in private. He seemed as tentative as her, but finally convinced her that, as he said, "some things are inevitable." Susie was relieved by his statement, but not totally sure that it was an excuse.
"No," she said, "it was all on me. I allowed things to happen that never should have. It was unprofessional and it was irresponsible, and now I..." She paused, trying to elucidate her thoughts, "...I just find it impossible to look any of them in the eye. It's like this elephant in the room, you know? Dr. Hurst, I am so... thankful to you for the way you acted that day."
He nodded solemnly, then asked her to refer to him as Ivan. "I never liked the Dr. label," he said. He studied her for a moment, then said in a soft voice, "You know why there is a woman on every mission now, correct?"
Susie stared at him. "I..." she began, "I mean, women are every bit as smart and talented as men. It's pretty much a product of natural progression, I assume."
Ivan shook his head slowly. "I mean, how and why it began, my dear," he explained. "My country was the innovator," he said slowly. "We were the first to fly female cosmonauts into space."
"Yes, I'm aware of that."
He took her arms, as she was floating away from him, and pulled her close enough to speak directly into her ear. "We have thirteen 'space kids' now, back home. They're being closely studied, but of course, they're no different for having been conceived in space."
Susie shook her head slightly. "You mean...?"
Ivan smiled at her. "One of them is mine," he said, nodding. "Not my wife's and mine, I mean. Irena Casentrova was my partner on Soyuz twenty. She was... well, we were both very cognizant of why she was chosen to be there, and we acquiesced to the idea. We screwed like bunnies most of the time we were up, that first mission," he said, grinning.
Susie was stunned. There were always the jokes, of course, and the 'what ifs' that naturally occurred between male and female astronauts in training. And, now that she remembered it, the statement Dr. Hong made when they first spoke, now almost four months ago. 'What happens in space...'
Dr. Hurst saw the enlightenment cross Dr. Cannoni's face. "So..." she began. "But wait. Dammit, I was just as capable as any..."
Ivan interrupted her. "Please, Dr. Cannoni... Susie. Don't take offense to the idea. I know your qualifications. I also know," he said in a softer tone, "about your psych eval, and the reasons you were probably given a little better chance of making the mission than some of the other, equally qualified females."
Again, Susie's mouth dropped. "My... psych evaluation? What... I mean, how do you know anything about that? That's part of my personal record!"
She was getting angry, he saw, and he placed his hand on her shoulder. "We all get them, Susie. I don't mean it was common knowledge, but it was, how do you say it, 'inferred' to me that you had certain qualities that might make you... well, a little more inclined..."
"Inclined to be what? To be the centerpiece in a gangbang?" Susie was shouting, making Ivan glad he'd closed the hatch. He hoped comms were off in his module.
"No, nooooo," he tried to soothe, "it wasn't like that."
Susie glared at him. "I'm waiting," she announced.
Taking a deep breath, Dr. Hurst began. "Okay. There is really no other way to say this. Based on your psych eval..." He paused. "How many have you had, by the way?"
Susie held up three fingers, but still didn't say anything. Her eyes were still angry; she was obviously trying to control that anger. 'To be told you're up here because you're a woman,' she thought, 'for the purposes of procreation...'
Ivan resumed. "Ah, okay. I thought as much. Did they go over them in detail with you?"