I walked into the office to find my co-workers waiting with a bottle of champagne and three glasses. Kurt threw me a party popper before I could set my backpack on my desk. Paper streamers and confetti flew over the office as Chris fired four poppers together.
"All hail the conquering hero!" Kurt cheered as Chris clapped. "Come on and dish! How did it go last night?"
I laughed and held up a hand to stop their questions as I sat on the edge of my desk. "It was fun, and I'm looking forward to a second date."
"There has to be more details than that vanilla explanation," Chris commented.
"It turns out we were on the same bus, so we went to the Hitchin' Post for dinner," I recalled. "We had a fun time and will get together again soon for a second date."
Kurt crossed his arms across his chest. "That's it?" Chris raised an eyebrow as he frowned.
"She's a great kisser, and has a tight body," I added. "There's a few concerns, but we'll see where that goes."
"A few concerns?" Chris quizzed. "So what's wrong with her? Nobody's perfect, but she seemed good to go."
I bit my lower lip, choosing my words. "I felt uneasy at times, so maybe it's just me. I'll run with it for now and see how it plays out."
Kurt sat back into his chair. "So, if Michelle's a 'maybe baby', then we're back to swiping and looking for another!"
"Open the app!" Chris cried, moving behind me.
I put my hands up. "Hang on a minute! I'm not paying you to dig through the dating app for me. Let's get those orders covered and then we can have a look."
"Who made you the boss?" Kurt asked, over emphasizing his indignation with his hands on his hips and a comical hurt face.
"I did, when I bought the company!" We laughed as we settled into our desks. As I connected my laptop to the dock and started it, I sent a text to my brother asking if he was available for lunch.
"Remember, if you bail on Michelle I get the next chance," Chris said.
"You don't think that'll be a problem if she's already dated me?"
"Nah. Meaningful overnight relationships don't need much to stand on. Alcohol is usually enough to grease those wheels."
Kurt grunted an agreement. "Alcohol. Helping ugly people get laid since antiquity." Chris snickered. "Good thing it's around to help you, Chris."
Chris smiled as he entered his password, then the smile left his face. "Wait a second!"
I entered my favorite downtown restaurant, the Trieste Arches, and found my brother Phil sitting in a booth. He stood and we shared a quick hug before I sat down across from him. The server was already waiting.
"Welcome to the Arches! Would you like something to drink?" Her soft voice was framed by glossy lips in a warm smile. Her rounded nose had a diamond stud on the left that matched the twinkle in her eyes.
"Iced tea, please. Unsweetened, with a lemon is ideal."
Phil leaned back, placing an arm across the top of the seat. "I thought that being the boss, you could have a drink at lunch if you wanted."
I barely heard him as I watched her walk away. Her black pants hugged her shapely legs and hips while the white shirt accented her wavy black hair. "I drink if I feel like it," I said, thinking about drinking her instead. "But, that's not the reason I wanted to get together today."
The corner of Phil's mouth curled into a smirk. "Is my little brother actually asking for my advice?"
Our server returned with our drinks. "Do you want to order yet?" Our eyes held contact as she spoke.
"Ruben and fries," Phil announced, breaking our reverie.
"Cheesesteak and fries," I added, glancing at her bare ring finger.
"I'll get those started!" She winked at me before turning for the kitchen.
Phil took a swig while watching us. "I think you'd like more than a sandwich from her."
I shrugged as I squeezed the lemon into my tea and stirred the mixture. "Are you saying you'd turn her down, if you weren't married already?"
"She's attractive, no doubt about it. Catherine is everything I could want in a woman, so that makes everyone else eye candy, which is fine with me."
"I met a nice lady last night, but I have some concerns."
Phil raised an eyebrow, waiting to hear more, then voiced his opinions. "Look, I'm not going to say I know everything about relationships. I will say that you're very likely to talk to and date a lot of women before you find one that does fit your life. When it just works and feels right, you'll know. Until then, enjoy the journey. And if you want some dessert after lunch, I'll cheer you on." He stopped to let the advice sink in. "The biggest trap you can fall into is forcing a situation. If it doesn't feel right, then keep looking no matter what. Does that make sense?"
I stirred my iced tea for a few seconds. "Yeah, I get it. I have to decide if a sticking point is a problem or not."
"Look, you know I spent four years dating before I found Catherine. It takes time, and a near miss is the hardest part of dating. Everyone bitches about bad dates, but they don't take long and you can laugh about them later. When you spend months with someone and decide it isn't right, that's when it gets messy. Those breakups can be as bad as it gets."
"Nothing like a great outlook on what's ahead."
Phil shook his head. "This is reality, you should know what it's like."
Our server returned with the sandwiches. "Here you go, is there anything else you need?"
I decided to go big. "Um, I would enjoy knowing your name and number," I said, looking up with a coy smile. "I'm Doug, and here's my info if you're interested." I handed her my business card with my company logo.
She picked up the card, then looked up at me. "I'm Sherrie, nice to meet you."
"My pleasure."
"I'll text you later when I'm on break. I'm off at four, if you don't work late."
I winked as I dipped a long fry into ketchup. "I'll be done at four, if I get a text."
Sherrie slipped the card into her pocket. "I'll come check on you gents in a minute." I watched her walk away, then glance back before she reached another occupied table.
"That was smooth, bro," Phil approved, lifting his ruben.
I bumped my cheesesteak against his ruben. "Is this a toast?" We laughed as we dug into lunch.
The clock turned to 3:30 and my phone was silent. Kurt stood and stretched with a yawn, causing a ripple effect in Chris.
"I think it's time to review some new candidates. I think some swiping will be a good change from orders and customer support."
I looked over my task list and dropped my pen on the desk. "Agreed! Grab some refreshments and let's see who's a contestant today on 'the swipe is right'."
Chris groaned and shook his head. "Don't plan on your jokes winning anyone over."
Kurt rolled his chair over with three beers from the breakroom. "Who said you could drink during working hours?"
He rolled his eyes at me. "You did, boss."
"Good point, hand one over."
Chris turned his chair around and straddled it, resting his arms on the tall back. "Start scrolling already, we've waited long enough. Who's interested in you?"
I logged into the app on my phone and started casting my screen to the display on my desk. The first lady who appeared looked to be twenty years older than me, and she didn't go to the gym either. "Hmm," I said, scrolling through a few of her pictures.
"Yep, great personality," Kurt declared. "Swipe on to the next candidate."
"How do you know she's not?" I asked, turning to look at him.
He shrugged and took a swig of his beer. "Sure, there's no way to know without meeting her. But, in the jungle that is the dating world, the matronly figure isn't in high demand. Some guys are into that, and I hope she meets one she likes. She's not what you're after, so move on to the next lady."
I brought up the profile for the next lady that had shown an interest in me. We all stopped and time stood still as we tried to grasp the image on the screen. BuffedNRuff was wearing a tank top and spandex shorts while working out at a crossfit gym. Muscles rippled along her arms and legs as she carried concrete blocks.
"Day-um," Chris said in awe. "She's amazing, but I'd be afraid she'd rip your dick off with her pussy muscles when she came." Kurt and I laughed at his assessment.
"My dick is strong enough for a man, but made for a woman," I stated as we continued laughing. "She's going to be living at the gym to achieve that level of fitness. I'm not sure I want to spend every evening there, so I'll keep Buffy the cock slayer as a maybe." I clicked for the next profile as more beer went down the hatch.
A text message appeared, displaying across the top of the screen. "I'm covering for someone running late. Want to meet at Los Locos at five? Sherrie."