I'm angry. I'm hurt. We've lived together for six months, shared a bed for six months. He tells me I'm an uptight bitch and leaves. And what bothers me the most of all is, he's at least partly right. I am up tight. I'm trying to make my way in a very prestigious law firm with lots of competition and there is no doubt at all that the firm has less regard for women. Even though I had the highest grades in school, edited the journal and was picked ahead of most others to enter the firm. And, I've contributed greatly on the few occasions I've been given a chance.
He also told me that there's probably a real woman in me somewhere if I'd just let it out. I think that it's likely that I let my female side be too open to him, made myself too vulnerable. I thought our sex life was terrific. He didn't think so. Too uptight. Never open emotionally. Always need to plan everything. What's so wrong with planning?
What I need to do is prove to myself that he's wrong. That I can be emotional. That I can be spontaneous and sexy. That I am a woman, not an uptight bitch. Besides, it's been almost two weeks. Two weeks without sex after months of having sex at least daily, usually several times a day. He was insatiable, which is one thing I always liked about him. I liked the feeling that he wanted me, that I was wanted, was sexy. Truth is, I loved the sex. So it bothers me even more that he could just walk away from it and I'm the one that's missing it.
These are the thoughts running through my head as I finish dinner at one of my favorite restaurants. It's also convenient, just a block from my apartment building. The bus boy at the table across the room must be new, I've never seen him before. Maybe I'm too horny because my first thought of him is that he's a male animal. Too old to be a bus boy. Too big to be a bus boy. He needs a hair cut. Dark, wavy hair down over his ears. Tall, over six feet. Big, or at least broad. Big shoulders, big hands. An animal face. Not fine and beautiful but almost coarse, strong looking. I bet he fucks like an animal.
What am I thinking? He's a bus boy. Probably an illegal immigrant or something. But I can't help thinking that he'd probably be a very good fuck. An animal fuck, rutting away. He's coming this way with a tray, my empty dishes are on the small table I'm at. He nods at me and starts removing the dishes, cleaning the table.
"Do you speak English?" I say to him. Why am I talking to him? Up close that face looks more than masculine, it's a strong face. strong bone structure. He's even more massive up close. I'm more sure than ever that he'd be an animal in bed.
He looks at me. Really seems to look, as if he's studying me. "Yes," he says. Just that. "Yes."
"Will you come home with me, spend the night with me?" What am I doing, Beth, acting crazy. I can't need sex that bad.
He looks at me some more. His eyes are softer than I expected. Looks as if there's a brain in there somewhere. "Yes," he says again. Nothing more, just yes.
What do I do now? I have to pay the bill. "Ten minutes," I say. "Outside the front door."
He doesn't smile, just picks up the last of the dishes and starts to turn to take them back to the kitchen. But he says one more thing. "Yes."
I've had three words from him, all "yes", so at least he does speak at least a little English. Didn't seem to have a strong accent. This isn't like me and yet, maybe it is. In college, I wasn't social. I worked hard. And then, every once in a while, every few months, after a party or something, I'd have a one night stand with whoever I managed to pick up. No long affairs. I was too busy with school. My only long affair ended two weeks ago so I guess I'm back to another one night stand with the animal I just propositioned.
Out front, he's waiting. He's big. Not fat at all but tall. I'm not tiny, I'm five feet eight. Fairly trim, perhaps even slim by most standards. But he's big enough to dominate me and I guess that's what I'm hoping for. To just let the animal loose on me. I hope he's not too evil. It wouldn't look good to come in Monday morning with a black eye or maybe worse. Maybe this is stupid. But we're at my building quickly, it's only a three minute walk, then up in the elevator and into my apartment. He's just come along, said nothing. Neither have I.
"We might as well get naked," I say to him and start toward the bedroom. He follows me, unbuttoning his shirt as I unbutton my blouse. Naked, he's even bigger than I had thought. Muscular. Extremely strong looking. Not hairy, as I had almost expected. His cock is already erect, jutting out from a black bush. Big and strong, just like the rest of him. Not anything abnormal, I may have even had larger ones. But definitely big and strong looking. Uncircumcised, the foreskin covering part of the head.