This story begins about 8 years ago on a cool early morning run. Looking back it's easy to see the significance of this moment but at the time I had no clue where this would lead. Settling in to my early 40's had caused me to lose my lean youthful appearance and I needed to do something to reverse the progression. I had joined a local Crossfit and added in some running both of which expanded my circle of acquaintances who were also trying to live a fitter life. I had recently joined a local running group and many of us were preparing for an upcoming half marathon and in doing so you find yourself running with people who have a similar pace and interests.
On this particular day, my current running partner Mary and I needed to take it easy since we were a week away from our race and being able to slow down and taper our efforts is always a problem for us since we were both a little competitive. So, the leader of our running group saddled us with a newbie which would force us to back off our normal pace if we were going to be nice and let this person stay with us. This newbie was in her early 20s, had been married for a couple of years and as often happens, put on a little bit of weight from the comfort that follows being in a committed relationship. Still, Leanna stood about 5' 9" and had a short torso with long legs so you could tell she had the makings of a strong athlete. She had long reddish hair that she braided that made her look like a Viking princess but her domineer was timid and quiet.
We had a nice conversational run where Mary and I told our stories about how we landed in the group and Leanna shared what she could although her breathing was more labored so we didn't interrogate her too harshly. I was able to discern early on that she was someone I could relate to. There was something about her that was hard to explain but I was really drawn to her and being almost half my age and similar in age to my oldest son, I saw her as the daughter I never had. Or at least that's what I thought at first.
Over the next couple of months, Leanna and I would find ourselves matched up on most of the runs and we just chalked our kinship up as the older and wiser staying youthful hanging around the younger and the younger gaining wisdom from the older. There were always others around us too but it seemed more often than not, Leanna and I were side by side a lot of the time. Over the next few years, Leanna would join me and a couple of other friends in non-running events like local Crossfit competitions and cycling events. She developed into a very strong and fit athlete and had more natural talent then she cared to let on. She also drifted in and out of our activities as she had a couple of kids but she continued to maintain a fair amount of her fitness.
After knowing each other for around 6 years, it's natural that there would be events that we would all attend as families and so I came to know her husband fairly well and she knew my wife and when we would have a get together it seemed that Leanna and I had this unspoken understanding of each other that transcended our regular families. I mean, over the years we spent the majority of our mornings together either running, strength training or just taking walks on rest days. We talked mostly about fitness, training, and our friends but sometimes we would visit about our spouses and our lives outside of our activities. My wife and her husband seemed to be very similarly extraverted and Leanna and I shared very similar introverted with deep thinking qualities.
Most people understand that opposites attract when it comes to couples which is the case for our marriages. For Leanna and me on the other hand, we were so much alike. We would finish each other's thoughts, liked the same kinds of foods and followed the same kinds of content on social media. There were times that my wife Beth would seem a little jealous of the time I spent with Leanna so I always tried to low key the fact that most of my training had evolved to just Leanna and I. This started a couple of years ago when I was about to turn 50.
Leanna had just had her second child and was eager to get off the baby weight when I announced that I wanted to run a 50 mile race for my 50th birthday. I was going to need a pacer to help me through the second half of the race and Leanna was in no shape for that nor did she really seem interested in running any more. Her husband Jason was on a new kick to get healthy and Leanna was helping him pick out some running shoes and they posted about it on facebook. I made a comment that he could be my pacer for the 50 and Leanna quickly texted me that if I would be willing to help her train that she would like that position. I was shocked and thrilled at the same time that I was getting my favorite training partner back for something really cool.
The training went well and we added a lot of strength work in an effort to build durability above speed and so we lifted weights at a wellness center that coached small groups of lifters and Leanna and I ran some short distances during the week. On the weekends I would go do my long training without her because she wasn't ready for the bigger distances and she only needed to run ½ of the 50 and we didn't want her to overdo it. During this time we spent a lot of time together just her and I. You would think we would have run out of things to talk about but we just didn't. There were however certain topics that we avoided and I'm not really sure why.
The main topic was our sex lives. I mean it makes since if she's half my age and it's like a father daughter kinship, that's not really something you talk about. The brief discussions on the topic typically stemmed from my wife making some offhand comment while drinking about how great our sex life was and Leanna mentioning once that her husband was her first and only and never really played the field being brought up very conservative. There was a time when I knew that Jason had just gotten a vasectomy and then threw his back out and I commented on how sad it was that they couldn't put their new found freedom to good use to which she agreed but never took it beyond that comment.
It was during this time that I started to realize something. I was developing feelings for Leanna beyond what would be considered appropriate. Again, hard to explain, but I was so familiar with her, she had become like a second wife in my other life. She would be so thoughtful and encouraging when we were training and I tried to do the same for her. We would buy little things for each other and if one of us had found something we liked like a new protein bar we always bought two and shared our find.
Back to the story, we made it to the big 50 mile race day. Another buddy of mine decided to give this distance an attempt as well so with his pacer the 4 of us travelled together. The race was on a flat trail system that was over 100 miles long and we were set to run from mile marker 100 down to mile marker 50. Picking up my pacer at the halfway point, Leanna was going to run with me from mile marker 75 to 50. Assuming it was the fact that I was feeling depleted (otherwise known as run drunk) around 31 miles in, I made an unusual request around mile marker 69.
When it was getting close I asked Leanna to get out her phone and take a picture of the mile marker which she gladly did. Then I asked her to text it to me so I could forward it to Beth when I finished the race. She looked puzzled so I explained that it's one of our favorite sexual positions so I have a ritual of taking a picture when I see the number and sending it to her. Leanna made some comment about how her and Jason didn't do very good in that department and probably needed to work on that. I told her the internet had tons of tutorials but that porn specifically suited for females was probably best because it was more realistic. She seemed surprised but at the same time interested but we quickly dropped the subject.
Fast forward another 2 years. Leanna and I finished the race and in the months that followed decided that running was losing its luster and we still wanted to stay fit so we converted to doing more strength work with a slight focus on bodybuilding. Not the kind of steroid taking bulking kind of stuff, more like building some muscle and lose some fat to look leaner. And were those results spectacular! Eventually we both got really into it researching the best methods of exercise programming and nutritional support. Eventually I started programming our training sessions and she focused on nutrition research. Eventually, this launched into a little internet business where I wrote some fitness blogs and she would edit my work. Our bodies were really starting to improve and it appeared our bond was as well.
It was about this time that I really started having less than appropriate thoughts about Leanna. She was now a 29 year old woman with a radically sexy well built body and the closeness you would expect from someone you've known for almost 10 years. I knew she was extremely loyal to her husband and the same could be said for my marriage but I would have been willing to insert some moral flexibility if the opportunity presented itself. For now, I would just have to be satisfied with her occupying my fantasy world which happened often. Although, there was something else that perplexed me from time to time. Leanna could have her pick of training partners and yet she seemed to go out of her way to keep me close. What was that about?
One thing that had helped me sort things out throughout my career was to write them down on paper. There was a therapeutic effect as well as a perspective that was brought about when your thoughts make the move from your mind to something readable. That's why I started writing this story. It was to make sense of these random unexplained feeling I was having, and that's when the big mistake happened. I had just completed my next fitness blog post and in my haste to send it to Leanna, I accidently did a drag and drop of this story. I didn't realize what I had done until the following day. Leanna was never great about checking email so I needed to prompt her via text that I had sent something but this time she had checked on her own.
It was on a Saturday morning right before we were scheduled to lift when I received a text that said, "I think you sent me the wrong blog post."
"Was it an old one"?
"No, it was a story about us," She wrote.
Shit, what had I done? A quick run through in my head about grabbing and dropping files to the email and I had come to the horrifying conclusion of my mistake. Now, what should I say? She was too smart to lie to so I guess the truth was all I had left. Was she mad? Would I ever see her again? Would she tell my wife? So many questions but for now I needed to respond.
"Um yeah...sorry about that. Guess I have some explaining to do during the warm up."
Long pause before thankfully I got a reply from her that said, "LOL, indeed you do...see you in 30".
I can't put into words what a relief it was to see that LOL. Leanna used that a lot to lighten the mood and I guess this meant she was taking it lightly. By the time I arrived at the gym, she was already walking on a treadmill scrolling through her phone. I hopped on the mill next to her with a,
"Good Morning!"
"Same," She said.
"Where do I start?"
She responded with, "No need to discuss that, the story was fairly complete on where this began; my question is where is this going?"
Shocked, was this an open door, was this a test? At this point, honesty was the best place to go.
"Look Leanna, it's pretty clear that we have a good energy together and I don't want to do anything to screw that up."
"Same" was all she said.
Long pause. I had nothing. She finally let me off the hook.
"Look, we see a lot of each other. And while we are training we see a LOT of each other (she meant our bodies). It only stands to reason that after 8 years we would occasionally invade our dreams or fantasy life and that's no big deal. No need to sound the alarm ok?"
"Fair enough," I said, "but you asked where the story was going and that's a little harder to explain".
"Is it?'' she asked, "You remember when you said 'the internet had tons of tutorials' during that long race?"
"Yes"
"Well, I have learned that I like reading erotica". She confessed, "It seems like a more sophisticated way to rev up my engine so to speak and as we both know the mind is a very powerful tool".
"It is" I agreed, "And you can do almost anything in your mind without causing major life issues."
"Correct," she agreed, "So, I know you haven't written an ending to your story and that's for you to figure out. But for me, it's time to train so let's get after it."
And that was it. For 2 months we trained together and it was like nothing ever happened. Except, she seemed a little less reserved in her communication. She did little things like using the F-word more often and a few more, "That's what she said" when I was referencing some training element that could be taken as sexual. Other than that there was really nothing else radically different.
