When morning finally came, Zoe rose early to slip away and quietly shower, careful not to wake him. And when she came back into the bedroom to pack, Tate's eyes opened and he watched her silently preparing to leave him -- quite possibly forever. Watching her zip up her suitcase, his heart having risen in his chest to his throat, felt like it was choking him.
Turning to find him awake, Zoe dropped onto the bed beside him, brushing back an errant strand of sandy-brown hair from his eyes. Heaving a resigned sigh she said, "So, I guess I should be going."
Taking her hand in his, Tate pressed her fingers to his lips. "But you don't have to go today. You know they won't be back until tomorrow."
She shook her head. "No, I think I should really head back home and find out what's going on with my job." Plus, it would hurt too much to drag it out any longer.
Seeing she'd her mind made up, Tate knew he had no choice but to let her go, though he hated the thought of it. "Well I hope it's still there for you, providing that's what you want."
Studying his handsome features, perhaps for the very last time, she nodded. "I hope so, too." Aware that if she stayed another minute, she wouldn't be able to resist crawling back in bed with him and wrapping herself around him, she forced herself to say, "Why don't you walk me to the door?"
Throwing back the covers, as Tate's lean form sprang from the bed, Zoe had to bite back a moan at the sight of him. His penis standing proudly erect, lean hips, flat toned abs, and that nicely muscled chest, was all so breathtakingly male. She hungrily looked her fill, aware she wasn't ever likely to see a more perfect specimen, no matter how long she lived. When she looked up at his face, the shadowy beard on his cheeks and those blue-green eyes that seemed to look right through her were so captivating, just the sight of him nearly had her weeping. Steeling her resolve, she picked up her purse, and he followed close behind carrying her bags to the door.
Standing at the front door with her, Tate touched his hand to her cheek and told her, "Just let me get dressed and at least take you to the bus depot, so I can see you off."
Zoe shook her head, already dreading the inevitable. Leaving him would be hard enough without prolonging it. If only he wasn't moving across the world, they might have had something, but since he was, she couldn't see any hope of a future for them. Their memories would be all they'd have now, wonderful, heart-wrenching memories that she knew she'd carry with her forever.
Having thrown on his jeans and T-shirt, and shoved his feet into his canvas shoes, grabbing the keys, Tate insisted on at least walking her down to wait for a taxi. Outside on the sidewalk, his gaze locked on hers, Tate cupped her face in his hands, lowered his head and kissed her so tenderly, that Zoe nearly broke down and cried. It was all too much.
She wondered why it had to end like this, or even why it ever had to end at all. It just seemed so unfair. Meeting him like this, enjoying her time with him like no other time in her life, only to be pulled away by circumstances that neither of them had any control over. The pain in her heart was crushing, and she knew she had to go.
When a taxi pulled up at the curb, Zoe reached up and touched her hand to his cheek one last time. "Thank you for everything you've done for me, Tate. I know I'll never forget you or what we've shared." Her eyes shimmering with unshed tears, she slipped into the yellow cab. Part of her already kicking herself for not telling him how she really felt, but she knew it would only hurt more if she said the words, especially if he didn't share her feelings. And since he'd never said anything about how he felt about her, she had to assume what she was feeling for him was totally one sided.
"God, I'll miss you, Zoe," he murmured hoarsely as he closed the door behind her.
Tate had to swallow hard as they waved each other off, watching the cab pull away and gradually blend into traffic. Damn this sucked. He'd fallen for her so hard that losing her was tearing his heart out. And if this was the last time he'd ever see her, he wondered if he'd ever be whole again, or if she was leaving and taking a part of him with her.
Even as he walked back upstairs to the empty apartment, he began to feel antsy, and could hardly wait to leave. Though Zoe had barely left, being on his own already felt unbearable. But he knew one of them had to stay to care for the cat and to be here when Becky and Robert got back, so it would have to be him. Glancing around the empty apartment, memories of her began to fill his head. And he shut his eyes, doing his damndest to try to push them away, his chest aching at the thought of finding the perfect woman and then losing her, all within a matter of weeks.
Just then the cat came out of hiding, and Tate bent to stroke its head, murmuring, "You know, Pussy, I can't believe she's really gone."
Tate awoke in the morning after a fitful night's sleep to the sound of the apartment door being unlocked. His heart anxiously pounding in his chest, he was quick to throw on his jeans and a T-shirt, before he ran into the living room, desperately praying that Zoe had changed her mind and come back. But it was his brother Robert's smile that greeted him, with his pretty new bride Becky being ushered in ahead of him.
Tate only hoped the disappointment he felt at seeing them instead of Zoe wasn't showing on his face. Plastering on the best smile he could muster, he tried to force some enthusiasm into his voice as he said, "Hey, you two, welcome home. So, how was your trip?"
Robert closed the space between them in two quick strides, taking his brother's hand he pulled him into a fierce hug. Slapping him on the back Tate could see how happy he was by his great big smile. "It was fantastic," Robert told him, "Best time I've ever had."
Becky just blushed and gave him a timid little wave from the door. Her own smile was far more coy as she said, "Hi, Tate."
Seeing her looking so embarrassed had Tate chuckling. Of course they'd enjoyed themselves. They were young newlyweds in love, still on their honeymoon, and acting like it, too.
And suddenly in that moment, looking at the two of them so happy, he knew. He blinked his eyes as it struck him like a flash of lightning what should have occurred to him long before now.
He realized then, what he wanted more than anything was what they had - wanted it so much with Zoe he could actually taste it. Annoyed with himself, he slammed his eyes shut and shook his head. Now why couldn't he have told
her
that? But then part of him wondered if it would even have made a difference if she knew how he felt, or if she'd left him no matter what.
His brother Robert looked curious as he craned his neck looking for signs of Zoe. Quietly, he said out of the side of his mouth, "So, how did you two make out?"
Refusing to let Becky know what he and her sister had been up to, Tate played dumb and asked, "Who me and the cat?"
"Yeah, you and Pussy," Robert said with a smirk. "So, is she okay?"
"Of course, she's fine. I saw her before I went to bed last night, when I gave some treats, so I'm sure she's got to be around here somewhere." At least he hoped she was, and she hadn't snuck out again.
Becky started down the hallway calling out, "Pussy, come out, pet. Mommy and daddy are back."
Tate chuckled. "She sure loves that cat, huh?"
"Yeah, she's crazy about it." Then with a crook of his finger, Robert gestured Tate to come closer, saying so only he could hear, "But never mind the cat, what happened with you and Zoe?"
Not really much to tell, Tate shrugged. "She went home."
Robert glanced around the little living room. "You know when I walked in here, I was expecting to see the air mattress you told us about." Tate's eyes met his brother's and they both began to smile. "So I take it there was never an extra bed?"
Tate shook his head and decided to be honest with him. "No, no extra bed."
"So, what happened with you two?"
Heaving a sigh, Tate said, "I asked her to come to Brisbane with me, and she told me she couldn't. And yesterday she left and went home."
Robert shook his head. "Must be something in our Caldwell DNA; I know I took one look at Becky, and just knew. First time I saw her in a food court near our work she stood up, our eyes met, and bam, that was it. And the moment we got together it was like spontaneous combustion. I'd never experienced anything like it my life. So, no surprise, I asked her to move in with me that same week and I was gutted when she told me she couldn't. Seems their folks are really old-school when it comes to premarital sex, and they've raised their daughters pretty strict. So, when she turned me down, I did the only thing I could do."
Tate was staring at him curiously as he asked, "So, what did you do?"
Rolling his eyes, Robert gave him a look like he hadn't been paying attention. "What do you think I did? I asked her to marry me. I knew I couldn't live without her, so I told her how I felt and asked if she'd consider spending the rest of her life with me. And thank god she agreed." He started to smile. "Otherwise, I sure as hell I wouldn't be walking around right now with this big dumb grin on my face."
Blowing out an exasperated breath, Tate slowly began to shake his head. Right then he knew he'd screwed up. Having heard Zoe tell him how restrictive her life had been, and seeing the proof when he'd met her overprotective parents, he knew he should have, at the very least, been honest about how he felt about her. He should have told her that he loved her before he let her walk out. And considering all the time they'd spent together he'd had plenty of opportunity. Now, he just hoped he hadn't screwed up what they had for good.
The more he thought about it, he wondered how he could possibly have expected her to go clear across the world to do nothing more than live with him, when she didn't even know how he felt about her. Never mind without a promise of anything more on the table. He'd really messed things up with her. No wonder she went home before she had to.
Robert couldn't miss the tormented look on his brother's face. "So, you're saying you care for her?"
At this point, Tate couldn't see any point in lying. "Yeah, I'm crazy about her."