I did it for me. I had no interest in touching a naked woman but after 20 years of marriage it was becoming more difficult to find that elusive smile of unbridled surprise from my favorite human being.
Jevon was never easy to shop for. He appreciated every gift I'd ever given him but my selfish spirit wanted to see him jump up and down like a 5 year old on Christmas. This would have been easier to accept if he were a robot of a man, but he cried at the birth of all of our children and screams ferociously at every call against his beloved Eagles. So the lack of enthusiasm from my gifts were a thorn in our otherwise flawless marriage.
The new BMW for Christmas - "Exactly what I wanted."
The pick-up game with his old high school basketball team in Madison Square Garden - "This is amazing."
The surprise birthday trip to Cairo - "Very nice!"
First world problem, I know. My friends all tried to help in the beginning but they got tired of watching me complain when he didn't weep uncontrollably at my valiant effort and perfect planning. I know, selfish. My perfect husband had a perfect life and I was the princess with the pea.
Then I decided to go nuclear.
All of my previous ideas were things that he'd somewhat considered himself. They were ideas he could have done without me. I needed something he would never consider possible.
A threesome.
Most couples would have considered this long ago, but it wasn't really on our bucket list. We had a dry spell when the kids were young but now that they are mostly out of the house we kicked our sexual escapades into 5th gear. I swallowed him once a week and I got as loud as I wanted when we both 'worked' from home on Wednesdays.
The idea of a threesome was something we both discussed but we were so picky about every little detail that it didn't seem worth the effort. In comparison we spent 3 months researching our first anal adventure as though we were planning a trip to Australia.
And in all fairness I sort of got the reaction I was looking for when we ventured sexually, but those were shared experiences. I wanted to own him.
But a conventional threesome would need more than 3 months of research and the surprise wouldn't be there. So I decided on something slightly different. A sex free threesome. A fluffer.
I'd recruit a willing female to join us in the shower for some sudsy fun and we'd keep it pretty tame. I'd kiss her to get his juices going and then send the third wheel on her merry way. I'd get the reaction I was looking for followed by some congratulatory dick. Win. Win.
Finding a willing participant online wasn't very difficult. A willing female stranger for an open couple is called a unicorn because they are difficult to find. Not my problem. One photo of my husband from the waist down right out of the shower and was all I needed to find 12 qualified unicorns. Over the next month I interviewed a dozen of the nicest women I could ever imagine. I think the PG nature of my request brought out the wholesome candidates.
Eventually I decided on Yvette. Honestly I didn't give her too much thought because she'd only be joining us for a shower. I'd get my reaction for being the world's best wife and then she'd be on her little way.
I planned everything out for our day of 'working' from home. The kids were all away at summer camps so there would be no surprises. At least not for me.
As usual we woke up and got to work. We did actually work, just not the entire day. Typically I'd lose focus after a couple of hours thinking about the afternoon workout we'd enjoy. But that morning I spent the entire time trading texts with Yvette planning my surprise. I got the feeling she was losing her gumption so I had to talk her up a bit. All she had to do was be waiting in the shower when we got back from our walk. I could tell she was nervous but I was in charge now.
"Let's eat," Jevon startled me. It was noon. He'd made a light salad with yesterday's leftovers. Afterwards we headed out for our walk around the neighborhood. As I closed the front door I made sure to leave it unlocked because I could see Yvette parked at the end of the block in her sportscar. While Jevon didn't notice her, I was tense lipped as I saw the nervousness as she got out of the car. The bold unicorn in the coffee shop looked as though the reality of it all might be too real for her.
My nervousness about her robbing our house had been replaced by my fear that she'd gotten cold feet on, ironically, the hottest day of the summer. I tried to keep calm but I'd planned this episode for months. Her high-yellow ass had by blood boiling.
"You need to let work go," Jevon offered as we passed the Anderson's house. The big oak tree in their front yard shaded the blinding sun from my eyes enough for me to see the concern and patience in Jevon's face.
"You're right," I chuckled, going along with his assumption that my trepidation was work-related. "But I've got this growing problem with a new client and I know I'll have to deal with her when we get back to the house."
"I'm sure you'll work your magic on her," he said as he grabbed my hand and pulled me to continue our work in the hot sun. As usual, I ignored how sweet of a moment we were having because I was so excited to finally get well-deserved applause for being the greatest wife ever.
That afternoon was no more humid than any other Wednesday that summer, but I was sweating more than usual. Jevon looked as cool as a cucumber in his basketball shorts and tank-top. Most days I'd be embarrassed if one of our neighbors caught us on our Wednesday stroll because Jevon had a habit of going 'commando' because it turned me on. So when Old Lady Truman waved hello from her tomato garden, Jevon enthusiastically reciprocated. Oh my heavens was his dick bouncing in those mesh shorts as he quizzed her on the sweetness of the season's crop. But I gave him little satisfaction and extended the conversation with great interest. For ten minutes we discussed everything from tomatoes to tulips in that hot sun.
"Getting too hot for me," Jevon exclaimed as he realized I was in no rush to end any potential embarrassment.
"We'd better go," I nodded to Old Lady Truman, "before he melts."
"You kids stay cool," she chuckled as she returned to her garden.
With more shade on the way home our walk was definitely cool enough to hold hands. By now he was sweating as much as I had so we knew we'd need that shower.
As I turned the last corner before our house I was relieved to see Yvette's car still parked at the far end of the block and, unless she was doubled over in the seats hiding from embarrassment, empty.
"I'm so thirsty," I whined with intent as we stepped into our home.
"Lemonade. One ice cube. Got it," Jevon answered. "But don't think about work and that Yvette until after our shower," he demanded as he pulled the pitcher of lemonade from the refrigerator in time to see that I'd already removed my sweaty tights and tank top from my dark-brown, glistening skin.