Torture

My wife is hot.

She's not the sexy waitress, supermodel, stripper kind of hot. That's what my friends consider hot.

She's slow-walking, hip-swaying, confident beyond approach kind of hot.

And she knows it.

So when my job has me out until 3AM herding a band of 23 year olds with too much money around the city I know I'm going to pay for it the next day.

Her on-call surgery hours and my babysitting the next "It" band make our days off important. Staying out until 3AM because the drummer punched an unruly fan puts a damper on the next morning's 7AM trip to the farmer's market.

We usually make our menu for the day - breakfast, lunch and dinner - and go buy most of what we need 8 blocks away at 8AM. We met on August 8th. Nerd facts.

This month I knew we were both traveling a ton so our days off were even more important. We planned on getting pregnant in November so we were hoping for as much quality time in the spring and summer as possible.

We didn't have any plans for the night before, but she knows I sleep hard. Opening the door at 3AM meant I'd struggle to wake before 9AM. Waking me up early would result in grumpy me and no one wants to spend the day with grumpy me.

As I stumbled through the apartment in the dark I tried my best not to wake her. But I smelled of tension, regret and weed so I took a quick shower to get the city off of my body. This way I'd at least wake up clean. She slept like a rock.

Once I made it to the bed, I snuggled up close to her warm ass. I know my dick was getting hard, but I was fast asleep before I could figure out how I was going to apologize the next day.

As the bright light began to tease my eyes open, I knew it had to be at least 10AM. I was alone but I could hear her footsteps in the apartment.

I reached over for my phone to confirm the time and I was dead on. As my focus tightened I instinctively checked to see if the band sent me any more drama. I had one message: "Thanks for getting us out of there! Love Monique!"

That split second of relief was derailed by my beautiful bride entering our bedroom with only a white towel wrapped around her mahogany frame.

"Since we missed the market," she started before I could apologize, "I figured we could just grab brunch at AJ's. Enjoy the sun a little longer."

I was happy that she was letting last night go and thinking that it must have been my 32 apology texts as I kept her up to speed on my where-abouts.

"Yesterday was a monster for me," she started as she dropped her towel on the end of our bed. "Dr. Mitchell is still in Florida with his family so I had to work with my favorite anesthesiologist Franco and listen to his god-awful stories about his adopted cat."

The combination of just waking up and being let off the hook were putting me at ease as I stared at my wife's ass while she put lotion on in the mirror. She knew I was watching, but she continued with her story as though we were already at the restaurant. I may have thought about fucking her right there and then, but I was lucky to not be getting the silent treatment. I tried to stay focused on her story. "Paisley?" I shouted.

"Stupid cat!" she said before continuing her story and picking her hair while her lotion dried. Shielded by a duvet and some basketball shorts, my growing erection was out of her sight.

As she crossed the room, still filling my ears with yesterday's work recap, her ass was all I could focus on. Which is why I sat in disbelief when I noticed something shiny and olive. Between her gorgeous butt cheeks was that new butt plug she ordered two years ago but never tried. That "One day I'll try it" Day was today.

As she continued her story, which had gotten around to Linda in accounting, my eyes were now taking in every wavelength of light that the room had to spare so I knew I wasn't mistaken.

She reached into her underwear drawer and pulled out the least sexy item you could imagine. When she leaned over to put on her panties, I focused intently knowing she would be showing everything when she wiggled her way into her bikini bottom Hanes.

And I wasn't disappointed. A butt plug in my wife's ass.

Of course her story had left accounting and was on the train that was packed because it was rush hour when she left the hospital to visit a patient uptown. Before I knew it a pair of baggy sweats was covering the entire scene.

"Ms. Schwartz is definitely going blind," she amused herself, "because she didn't even notice Gerald was with me and she's been flirting with him for 5 years." As she fumbled through her bra drawer I stared directly through her sweatpants. I was burning a hole through them, I swear.

But my attention was quickly diverted to her next garment - an open bra. It was the kind of bra the holds everything in except for the tops and nipples.

So there she stood with nipples pointed directly at me while she continued her story and checked our reservation time. Without checking to see how I was feeling about her style choices she grabbed an old, baggy college sweatshirt and threw it over her head.

She completed her story with some details about the leftover broccoli she had for dinner and finished her ensemble with her glasses, a Houston Astros baseball cap and an old pair of hand-me down running shoes she got from her little brother when he outgrew them.

"I said, 'Let's go!' sleepyhead!" she barked as she shuffled out of the room to find her purse. I took my time throwing on my sweats because I needed my dick to soften. "I'll meet you in the lobby after I check the mail."

After the door closed behind her I tried to process what I had just witnessed. Anal plug and open bra. This was far from standard farmer's market or brunch attire. This was beyond honeymoon lingerie.

But she purposefully let me see what she was wearing while simultaneously not saying a word about it. So I knew I couldn't bring it up.

We live on the 9th floor.

Longest elevator ride of my life.

As the doors open I see her talking to our doorman Theo, an older gentlemen with a thousand pictures of his grandchildren on his phone. It turned out that this was the moment my wife wanted see all 1000 of them with narration included.

Again, there I was trying keep focused while I knew what savagery was happening underneath the most innocent fleece outfit you could imagine. It was the least sexy look you could put together if you tried. Yet there I was trying to smile at little Juju and Veronica instead of thinking about the shiny emerald jewel planted between my wife's cheeks.

And somewhere at photo 564 we were interrupted by Olivia and Dante entering our building.

"I'm starving, bruh," Dante says as he greeted us in the lobby. "Let's go!"

Their most innocent of hugs and warm kisses were earth shattering as I knew those embraces included my wife's extra credit accessories.

The entire walk Dante talked about the new curriculum at the high school where he worked and how it was good for the children of color yards yada yada. I could hear Olivia talking about her sister's plans to move into the city next yada yada yada.

Torture! I loved hanging out with Olivia and Dante. Normally this surprise would have been great. But the next hour of watching my wife be the most normal human being on the planet was killing me.

First there was brunch. I couldn't focus on the best French toast in the world because I was trying to figure out if I could see her nipples through her sweatshirt.

Then we went to the farmer's market. She must have stopped at every table. Torture. I was unfocused the entire time. You'd think my wife was walking around naked the way I stared at her.

The longest three hours of my life.

When we finally reached our building, we exchanged hugs and talked about making plans for Martha's Vineyard in the summer. As much as I loved Olivia and Dante, I was never happier to see them walk away.

That's when my wife squeezed my hand.

"Are you going to apologize now," she said as we soaked in a little more sun as our friends waited to cross the street.

"Yes, boo," I said sheepishly. "That was torture. I'm sorry, but that was torture."

She smiled and waved one last time at Olivia and Dante.

"We knew it was," she said devilishly as Olivia and Dante both winked at us before disappearing into a taxi.

My eyes bulged with shock.

"But hers is ruby red," she acknowledged before crossing our lobby to the elevators.

I wasn't certain if my punishment was ending or just getting started but I was going to enjoy it one way or another.