The next day I waited patiently for Tomas to come over at his scheduled time. Since it was still ten in the morning, I had a pot of coffee and a box of cookies awaiting. He arrived exactly on time, knocking only once before patiently waiting for an invitation to enter.
It was actually kind of endearing. "Good morning, Tom," I said a little too cheerfully, as I opened the door. He was wearing short-sleeved hospital scrubs most likely due to the weather being hotter than a pan of burnt caramel. "I have some snacks and coffee. Help yourself to something from the fridge, if you like."
"Coffee is fine," he said with his usual kind, fatherly smile. "Wow coffee and Pepperidge Farm variety pack, what's the occasion?"
I took a seat, pursing my lips as I turned my focus to the package of cookies. "Did you have sex with my husband?" I asked, hoping to convey my lady-like sarcasm.
Tom nodded professionally, as he helped himself to a mug. "Is that what he told you?"
"All I know is something changed inside him, like a strange combination of love and fear."
Tom bit his lower lip in contemplation. "Do you attend church?"
"On base, why?" I could only assume he was about to ask me to not turn him in (as a favor to a fellow church-going Christian.)
"You and your husband should attend my Sunday service. I promise you, it'll be very enlightening."
"Sure," I said facing the window. "So what happens now?"
"Today?"
"Yes," I explained, struggling to maintain composure. "My husband said he doesn't want to see you." I turned to see Tom nodding, casually, as if this was not a unique occurrence. "Did you hear me?"
"How long have you been married?"
"Twenty-three years, this September, why?"
"Are you aware of your husband's history of sexual-emotional abuse?"
"Against who?" I instantly regretted my choice of words. Josh had never abused anyone. Clearly, Tom was pointing out past events that Josh suffered, something in his medical records that was never revealed to me in our decades together. "Are you allowed to tell me, with patient privacy an all that."
Tom took a sip of coffee, casually looking me in the eyes. "Do you have any tattoos, Mrs. Miner?
"No, it's against my Christian faith, but I don't judge others who get them."
"So, Josh had his cross tattoo from before you were married?"
I could tell he was trying to drop hints without violating HIPPA regulations. If I was just reciting the information I already knew, he was not betraying Josh's medical privacy. "His mother died when he was fourteen, he got that tattoo when he was eighteen, about a month before our wedding."
"Really?"
"Because he wanted her there, in spirit, at least that's what he told me." I couldn't remember exactly when or why he got the tattoo.
"Fascinating," Tom replied with a cheerful nod. "Let's wake him up. I have some big plans for today."
"Um, what?"
He stood up, walking towards the bedroom. I silently followed, staying a few feet behind. Tom seemed confident, almost abnormally so.
My husband was still in bed, with the dog having taken my space by his side. He opened his eyes with a shy, smile. "Hey Tom," his sleepy voice sounded calm, soft, and sweeter than maple syrup. He seemed happy, or maybe high on pain meds.
"Hey, Josh." Tom placed his hand upon Josh's forehead, tracing a finger around his eye socket down his jaw.
Josh closed his eyes, savoring the other man's touch. His eyes rolled back, drifting into a state of ecstasy. "Why do I feel this way?"
Tom cupped his face as he leaned in, to kiss Josh's dry lips. "Because you're human." He reached for Josh's hand as if to help him up, but Josh's hand went to Tom's neck pulling him close.
Josh kissed him softly and slow. Their lips met over and over, as their hands started to act all on their own, exploring under their clothing.
Before things could go too far, Tom separated himself. "Your wife told me you used to go to church? I thought maybe you'd like to check out my sermon."
"At the biker bar?" Josh asked. It was clear they had talked about this before.
Tom turned to me with a chuckle. "It's a truck stop, not a bar."
"Because Bars serve alcohol?" I replied, hoping I was correct. I had heard of such pop-up chapels mainly frequented by truck drivers, drifters, and random travelers looking to film a blog.
"It's a friendly enough place," Tom chuckled. "You two will just need something to wear. Hence today's road-trip activity."
"You're taking us shopping?" I asked. "Are we headed to the mall on base?"
"I actually know of a place." Tom got off the bed, heading for the doorway. "It's a little further out of the way, closer to the Louisiana side of things."
Josh seemed perfectly fine with this idea. "Sure just give me a second."
"You get ready while Carol helps me with something in the van."
"Something in the van?" I walked to a nearby window and saw a VA hospital van with a wheelchair lift. Oh, that was not good.
Giving Josh a moment of privacy to get dressed, Tomas left the trailer. I followed him and watched in horror as he opened the van to reveal a hospital issue wheelchair.
My husband, of course, was using his walker, accompanied by his service dog. Even when he was sick with pain he could get ready for the day on his own (by that I mean he could put on a t-shirt and sweatpants.)
"I brought you a gift, courtesy of the VA."
"A wheelchair?" Josh slumped back on to the bed, comically defeated. "I'm not going out in a wheelchair."
"Not even for me?" Tomas asked with a pout. He rolled the chair closer, guiding Josh's hand. "Come on, big guy. Where we're going there will be no judgment." Tomas motioned for me to take the dog's leash while he flirtatiously guided my husband's body; arms, chest, hips.
Josh was willing to melt into his loving embrace (and from there he was willing to sit in the old, manual, wheelchair.) He was loaded into the back of the van, strapped in for safety, while I sat in the front seat.
Our ninety-pound dog sat on my lap but the moment the van started to move, she went straight to her master. With the dog on his lap, Josh fell asleep for the majority of the hour-long drive. In the distance, I saw a thrift store, with colorful old-movie posters decorating the exterior. The name of the place was, 'Somewhere over the rainbow,' or 'Soar' as I would soon learn.
"Welcome to Soar," said the pink-haired cashier who was organizing a collection of old VHS tapes. "Tommy!" She sprung up, rushing in for a hug.
Tommy was pushing Josh's wheelchair. "Hey Katy, baby." He greeted her with a hug, followed by European style kisses to each cheek.
"Who's your friend?"
"This Josh, Josh this is Katy one of the managers here."
Josh shook her hand. "Tom's my big brother from the one last wish foundation."
"L-M-A-O!" the cashier said with a sweet smile. All three seemed to disappear into a labyrinth of cloth racks. Tomas was pushing Josh's wheelchair like an enthusiastic best friend (even hopping on the back for short distances, gliding like a skateboarder.) The store was clearly a repurposed warehouse or storage facility. But given it's out of the way location, I was not surprised by the lack of customers.
When the cashier returned to her space, I asked about Josh's service dog. "Are animals welcome here?"
"Of course," she said sweetly. "Here at SOAR, we welcome all kinds."
"Ok, um thanks."
"Did you want to look around?"
"No, I'll be fine." I made myself comfortable in the waiting area, taking a seat on a colorful bench. There was a retro-rock station playing on a stand-alone radio, but other than that the store was a quiet as a tomb. My eyes felt heavy, my mind craving a chance to rest and let the world pass me by.
Just as I was about to succumb to sleep, the dog got a sudden burst of energy. "Pup, stop it!" Josh's dog was trying to pull me in a very specific direction. Knowing I had no other choice, I stood up and was guided on a five-minute walk to a random corner near the fire exit. For a moment I wondered what was so special about this space, then I heard laughing.
"Try this one on," said Tom's voice. "I think it's suede, but the inside feels like silk."
I needed a better view. Creeping around, I checked the wall, until I found a space with a curtain covering several holes. The space was dark, hidden with a comfortable chair as if it was meant for voyeurs.
I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was the cashier. "You can watch from the front cameras if you like."
Before I could answer she had gripped the dog's leash and started walking back to her station at the front of the store. I soon realized, that what I thought were VHS tapes were actually (piles and piles of)security footage from the dozen or so 'changing rooms.' SOAR was a sex club.
"Sorry about being so abrupt, in case you actually did want to watch from the audience plaza."
"Audience Plaza?"
"Yeah, it's a place where other participants can watch, participate," she explained as she logged on to the main computer. "I couldn't risk the dog making noise. I mean, it is Josh's service dog right? I imagine the poor dear is wondering where her daddy is." She petted the dog's head, coaxing the animal closer. "Here we go, room Six."
With a click of a mouse, Josh and Tom's footage feed was on the largest of the security screens. Josh was half-naked, sitting in his wheelchair, with Tomas on his knees. From the angle of the camera, I could see he was alternating between oral sex and peppering kisses along Josh's stomach.
"Aw," Katy said, crossing her legs. "Tom is always such a gentle lover."
"Always?" What exactly was Tom?
"I don't seem him very often, maybe once a month if I'm lucky."
"Do they know they're being filmed?" I asked, glancing at some of the other rooms.
