To Tae Control

This is a farce. There are probably holes all over the place but it was just a bit of fun. I hope you enjoy it.

As always, constructive criticism is welcome.

To Take Control

"Uh, my dick is dry," said the young man sitting down at a desk with the gun pointing at him.

The man standing with the gun raised his eyebrows in anger and shook his gun in threat at the sitting man. "What the hell did you say?"

"I said you can suck my dick." The face of the man with the gun seemed to morph into something reality never heard of. "Are you stupid on accident or is it a life decision to be this stupid on purpose?" The questioning look on the sitting man's face was genuine. "Did my words come in another language because I only know the one - unless you count Drunk as a language. I can understand that like mad and I can speak it better than most of my friends, especially Dan, that dude can't hold his..."

"SHUT UP!" The man holding the gun screamed. He looked over to his partner, a young woman standing with her own gun, and said only slightly less loud, "Can we shoot him a couple of times or is that completely off limits?"

The woman walked a couple steps over nearer the sitting man and asked, "What are you talking about?" Her voice was smooth but with a slightly lower tenor. The handgun she was carrying sat in her hands comfortably and she stood calm and resolute.

They had come in through his office door fast and smooth, guns out and yelling at him to get his hands in the air. The sitting man knew they were in the building, of course, and he had seen the other floors get taken over, too. The man sitting behind the desk was certain he knew what they were there for as he had seen their tries to break into his network over the last couple of weeks. While they were good he was far better and had actually traced them all the way back to their source. He didn't know everything, of course, but he figured it was a robbery like

Die Hard

or something.

The sitting man looked up to the pretty blonde woman holding the gun and without any fear or variation said, "You want me to unlock the network, a trillions of dollars network function, and all you've got is a gun. If I don't open it up you're going to shoot me but if you shoot me no one will ever be able to open it. Now you don't have to kill me when you shoot me but what makes you think I would even be able to think about how to open it up after you injure me?"

"You're the only one who can open it up?" The woman, who seemed to be more in control than the guy, asked with her own upraised eyebrow.

"Yeah. You idiots locked it down when you tried to get somewhere you couldn't by getting someone you thought could go there but couldn't." The sitting man leaned forward and put his arms on the desk he was sitting at and looked between the two armed people.

"So this trillion dollar, world-wide company is now locked down and you're the only one who can get it open, right?"

"Right."

"Call the hacker," the blonde said to the man. "It may take a bit but he can get in."

The sitting man began to snicker and leaned back into his chair and shook his head.

"What?" The blonde looked like she was about to lose her temper. This man's arrogance and continuous try at humor was getting a little annoying.

"Who've you got? Paolo? Baby-Cake? Zero-Cool 2? Triumph-All?" At the last name the blonde raised her eyebrows involuntarily. "Ah, James "Triumph-All" Bracken. Okay, bring him in." The snickering didn't stop, it even turned to all out laughter.

The man with a gun brought out a cell phone, made a quick call and only a few minutes later a wiry, stereotypical super-nerd walked through the door. His combed over hair looked like it might have been washed a few years ago and the circular wired spectacles did nothing to make the man look intelligent.

When the new nerd looked up and saw the sitting man he said, "Nuhn uhn. Not a chance." He shook his head and waved his hands in negation. "The government can't crack this guy, every government who's tried has failed. They all hire this guy to make their systems secure. Either shoot him or give him whatever he wants. No one told me the network was setup by this guy. I thought he left."

The man called Triumph-All turned and walked away, even when a gun was pointed at him he told the guy to go ahead because they'd all be dead before someone cracked the codes of the sitting man. "You guys said you knew who set this up and the name you gave isn't him." He was let go at that point and the man with the gun made another phone call.

The blonde looked to the sitting guy and asked. "You know your arrogance will kill you, right?"

"What arrogance?" The sitting man's face was truly surprised by the statement. "Oh, you mean laughing at James or telling you good luck? I suppose there's some arrogance there." He looked up at the ceiling in thought. "I guess my delivery could have been better, I'll agree, but that has nothing to do with arrogance. The truth always hurts, though, doesn't it?" The snide wink did nothing to calm either gun holder.

"So you're that good, are you," asked the blonde. Her voice was back to a conversational tone but was tinged with a little disbelief.

The sitting man looked back to her, his eyes still sharp and determined to prove something. "How'd you get your job? Because you're good, right?" The blonde gave a half nod. "Well, that's how I got my job. James used to work here - I'll bet he's what started this whole thing, him and his mouth - but I caught him trying to embezzle money. You ever see that Superman movie with the computer enemy at the end? Yeah, he was trying to do that. So I locked him out of his money and then all of his online and connected accounts and then tipped off the company and then the government. Instead of putting him in jail they tried to get him to hack some stuff. When it was found I wrote it the government tried to recruit me but I don't like to follow orders and then this and that...and now, here you guys are, trying to break my system."

"You talk a lot, you little shit," said the man with the gun.

"Yeah, I'm trying to create a nervous tick of some sort." The sitting man didn't appear nervous in the slightest. "Not sure it's working." He sat for a moment and looked at nothing and then shrugged his shoulders and just said, "Uh, yeah. Nope."

The man with the gun walked around the desk and put the barrel of the gun right up to the side of the sitting man's head. "Stop talking and open up the system or I'll cancel any ticks you might be searching for."

"Enough," said the blonde with some authority. "What were you told?"

The man with the gun backed away and then motioned the blonde away from the desk so they could speak in private. "Don't touch that keyboard or you can pick your nose with stumps," he said to the sitting man. The sitting man shrugged his shoulders, raised his hands in acquiescence and gave a half smile.

The sitting man looked at them as they spoke and while couldn't hear them he could read a few of the words from the man's lips.

"...give him anything in reason...don't hurt...I should be allowed to kill..."

The man sitting behind the desk smiled inwardly. He loved this spy crap. He'd been involved with companies like this before because he could lock down their systems, find those who were trying to steal and lock them down, find the holes in networks and operating systems and codes and many more things. He also charged exorbitant costs for doing this. He knew there would always be something in the computer industry for him to do because that's where everything was going these days.

The sitting man was a hacker. Oh, not because he wanted to crash the stock market or cause planes to crash or steal personal information or credit cards, most of the time - he did it because it kept his mind moving and there were currently no other ways to keep his mind as sharp as code writing and debugging. Some may argue about chess or writing apps for the world to use but those didn't call to him. He wasn't a Bobby Fischer and his coordination for step by step processing was difficult. He saw the beginning and the end of a problem and his subconscious mind took over from there and provided all the answers. Some might call him some kind of savant but he didn't see himself that way. As well, there was probably someone out there who was better than he was. He knew that and it bothered him not at all. He did know, though, that 'Triumph-All' couldn't break anything of his. The dude was a hack, not a hacker.

When the two gun toting people came back over to him the man looked like he wanted to just shoot and get it over with. The blonde woman, however, stepped in front of her partner and asked, "What'll it take to get you to open this up for us?"

"Make me an offer," the sitting man returned.

"What do you want?"

"Make me an offer."

"How about a hundred thousand dollars?"

"Make me a real offer," the sitting man returned, looking annoyed.

"Ok, how about a million?"

"Ten million and you, right here, right now." The sitting man's face showed only insult. "Do not insult me again or you can all go fuck yourselves. Oh, and I have a very good imagination so I want a blowjob from this dick, too, while his wrists are tied to his own dick. Isn't that funny the way I used the double pun...!" He suddenly passed out and nearly fell from his chair.

The blonde woman seemed to consider the offer but the man with the gun had walked around the desk and punched the sitting man in the side of the head during his rant, almost knocking him from the chair but definitely knocking him out.

"Hey!" The blonde screamed at the gun toting man like he was petulant child. "What the hell are you doing?"

"No one touches you but me and I'm not sucking anyone's dick," the man with the gun said angrily.

"And who the hell do you think you are," the blonde woman asked derisively. "We aren't hitched, there's no ring, you don't tell me anything of what to do - especially here."

"You gonna talk that way to me?" The man with the gun came back around the desk in a threatening posture, ready to slap the blonde woman for speaking to him so. Anyone he put his dick into was his and they did what they were told, even if she was the leader of the expedition.

As she was about to answer the blonde's phone rang and both man and woman fell quiet. She answered the phone, listened to the words for a few seconds and without removing the phone from her ear she lifted her gun and shot the man, standing with his own gun, in the face. No emotion stirred her features but when the voice started speaking into ear again she listened. "Thanks," she said and she hung up the cell phone.

A few minutes later the man sitting at the desk awoke. His head really hurt. He'd been hit most of his life but this punch really outdistanced all of those other punches by miles. His sense of humor wasn't lost, though, as he saw the blonde woman standing there with a concerned look on her face and he said, "Well, either it was that good and I knocked myself out blowing my load or that bad and you knocked me out."

The blonde woman with the gun gave a half smile and asked, "Are you alright?"

"That dude can throw a punch, can't he?" The man sitting in the chair looked around and didn't see the man with the gun. "Say, where is your wants-to-be-your-pimp?"

"He won't be bothering you anymore," the blonde said easily. "Now, let's get back to making a deal, okay?" While the sitting man was unconscious she had dragged her used-to-be partner across the room, out of immediate site.

"Waste time? Oh hell no. Dinner and a doughnut? Nah. Let's just make a deal." The sitting man smiled up at the blonde and saw she held none nor reacted to his mirth. His own smile didn't fade but he may as well get down to business. "Fine, ten million and you, right here, right now. That was the last offer. Your counter?"

"Let me get this completely straight: you want ten million dollars and to have sex with me right now, is that right?" The blonde's face was impassive but her voice was serious.

"I want good sex. Not this 'okay your cock's in, go' shit. Know what I'm sayin'?" The sitting man wasn't pleading but his marking of the particulars was always important. "At least two holes but I want three - I'm just that kind o' guy." The sitting man raised his hands in supplication and shrugged in a 'what're you gonna' do' way.

The blonde smiled down at him and said, "Open it up and I'll see what we can do."

"Then, no." The sitting man sat back in his chair again, one hand lightly pressing against his injured head and the other resting on the desk. "Shoot me and lose or do what I want and win." The man sitting in the chair looked deep into the eyes of the beautiful blonde woman whose gun was now holstered but within easy reach. "Listen," the sitting man began almost dejectedly, "I'm not afraid to die. I'm not even afraid of pain or torture - I've been through more than most. But this caricature of good cop, bad cop or making a deal that presses a maybe anywhere in it won't fly."

The blonde woman was hoping to catch the arrogant sitting man in a tenable position of that maybe but she obviously wasn't going to be able to do that. Despite his arrogance that man was ready and buffing up his ego wasn't going to help. Raising a hand in a wait gesture the blonde walked a couple of feet away and made another phone call. The sitting man heard her tell the other end of the phone about the deal and wanted their thoughts on it.

The blonde walked back over and asked, "What about the money?" The phone never left her ear.

The sitting man picked up a pen and piece of paper and wrote something down. He then handed the paper to the blonde and told her that the money is to be put into that account. "Before I blow my load the money better be there or it's off. I almost hope it goes that way, you know, so we do it again and add another ten million to the price for every minute after I come that it's not in the account."

The sitting man's smile almost reached his eyes but the blonde with the gun could tell this was no bullshit.

The woman repeated the order, then read off the account number and then hung up the phone. Her face was showing an impatience and a disbelief that she would let herself do something like this. "So how do we start," she asked the sitting man.

The sitting man looked up to her with a half smirk on his face. "Go ahead and get undressed while I lock the doors."

"Wait. What?"

"I've got a tiny dick and I don't want any of your friends or my coworkers barging in while I'm trying to get it in your ass. Or has all of your team seen you naked and you don't care?"

"I mean you can lock the doors from here?" The blonde with the gun showed incredulity on her face.

"I can do anything and everything from here, at least for the building," responded the sitting man. "Unfortunately, my own super powers haven't activated yet. I was hoping for controllable-like X-Ray vision where I can pick how deep the vision goes. I don't wanna see your bones, I wanna see your tits!" A little giggle escaped him as he began to type. "No one ever talks about how deep the vision goes. Can Superman control it? 'Only go this deep rather than all the way through, just like when I was perving on Lois Lane but could only tell she didn't have cancer yet.' You never find out, you know?"

The blonde rolled her eyes and waved her hand at the sitting man in exasperation for him to continue. She began unbuckling all of the gear strapped over her form - guns, knives, flash bang grenades, bullet proof vest and more. When it was all in a neat pile on the floor she began with her black uniform - she thought it was too movie costume but it was functional. While she began to pull the tucked in shirt out she was keeping an eye on the sitting man and watched him type in a few characters on the keyboard and actually heard the lock to the office click shut. She knew the building was advanced but she didn't realize just how much. She guessed she didn't need to know.

When he was done typing several commands into the system the sitting man turned away from the computer and rolled his wheelchair out from behind the desk. He watched the blonde's eyes widen in surprise as he rolled out. His body was mostly fine but he was missing his legs from just above the knee down. He wore a pair of black shorts and around the stumps of his legs he wore large coverings of the "Merc With A Mouth." One was kissing a unicorn while the other stayed true to the comics and showed the Merc eating tacos.

The sitting man closely studied the blonde as she removed her shirt to show another vest of some bulletproof something or other which she removed to then show a sports bra holding back some nice sized breasts...oh, the sitting man thought, those are bodacious ta-tas! Society can keep their 'breasts.' He wanted ta-tas, titties, boobies, hooters, jugs, melons, knockers or whatever anyone called them in street jargon.

She kept her eyes on his eyes as he watched her remove her clothes. He wasn't drooling or anything but he did show an appreciation and she liked that. The shortened legs did alter her knowledge of the guy - there was no information on him having lost his legs somewhere. He was a well-proportioned young man, though, and he didn't seem to have any of the muscle loss some who lose limbs sometimes have. The sitting man wasn't a hulking fellow at all but he was average, despite what her thoughts of what a nerd looks like may have been. Probably stereotypical.

At the same time the blonde thought those last ideas as she was lowering her pants from her waist. She didn't remember when she had removed her boots but it didn't seem to matter as she could now just take off the pants.

The man sitting in the wheelchair was impressed by what he was watching. The blonde was gorgeous over her entire body. The blonde hair was still tied up in a bun but her Marilyn Monroe face, minus the makeup which he decided it didn't need, was calm and coy. Her shoulders were fit and her arms looked like they could throw some good punches. Her breasts were large, even under the sports bra they were trying to escape from, and her headlights of nipples were shining through the fabric. Her stomach was taut but didn't quite show the six pack muscle-bound women sometimes have. It moved sharply but with purpose - like the muscles' training was years on years of memory pressed ideology. The panties she wore were functional - that's all he could call them. They weren't cute but the color matched that of the bra. The undergarment was form fitting - and the form it was fitting was very nice, indeed - but they gave off the idea of granny panties. Her legs were strong and well-muscled but not sickly so. The sitting man thought that they could probably break his neck if she wanted.

Lastly, the sitting man watched the blonde remove her socks and perfect feet came into view. No blemishes of any kind and the nails looked like they'd been pedicured that morning. There was something too movie-like about this woman. They weren't in a movie but her body was so well made, and he hadn't even seen her tits fall free yet, that he was almost hard just looking at her. He also found out just then that he may have a foot fetish.

The blonde stopped moving and then looked at the sitting man, one eyebrow raised in question. "So, you want to see all of this, do you?" She waved her arms at her body.

"Well, I have been working on getting my cock to pass through steel so those panties shouldn't be a problem but my fingers aren't used for my eyes so they can't see for me so eyeing those big titties of yours will be difficult with the bra still in place and me without my super powers." The sitting man used as much sardonic delivery as he could, coupled with sarcasm.