Many thanks to AsylumSeeker for editing. I would also like to thank drksideofthemoon for his kind encouragement and good advice.
*
The day my divorce was final, my long-time friend and hairdresser, Stacy, and I decided to celebrate. Stacy had been through it all with me, from the planning of my wedding, through two years or so of wedded bliss, the loss of a job, the birth of my child, the slow death of my marriage during the six years that followed, and finally, the divorce. I only saw her every six weeks for my appointments, and it always amazed me how we could continue right where we left off with our friendship. We hadn't met until I was around thirty-five, but I felt like I'd known her all my life and could tell her anything.
I had an appointment the week before the big day. Upon hearing the news, Stacy exclaimed, "Girl, we should go out that night!"
As luck would have it, it was a Friday. My daughter would be spending the weekend with her grandparents, and I was free as a bird. Me.
Free
. I agreed that a celebration was definitely in order.
After some discussion, we settled on the Cleveland Flats as our destination. I hadn't been to the Flats, the Cleveland warehouse district and a Mecca of bars and restaurants, since my college days nearly 20 years before. With some trepidation I said, "We need to find a place that has an older crowd though, okay?"
"Oh my God. Stop it," muttered Stacy. "You know guys love older women. Besides, I'm going to do your hair and makeup. You'll look hot."
I love this woman. She makes me look good
and
feel good. As I was leaving, we hugged, and I thanked her and asked, "We're going for sure, right?"
"Fuck, yeah! And I'm driving," she replied. "Shit. Too bad we couldn't get a limo."
I thought about this for a moment. "Well, it's not a bachelorette party or anything."
Stacy thought about it too and giggled, "It is. You're becoming a bachelorette
again
."
---------
Friday night Stacy arrived at my house late, of course. I was already dressed and ready to go.
"What the hell did you do to your
hair
?" she cried out as she came through the door.
I had teased and sprayed and teased and sprayed some more until my hair resembled a lacquered brown and gold helmet. This was unintentional, of course. In my nervousness, I had messed with it way too much. Stacy threw a towel over my shoulders, pushed me into a kitchen chair, and set to work with my flat iron. In less than ten minutes she had rearranged my helmet into a young, sexy, fashionably messy work of art. I stared at myself in the mirror. She had actually curled my hair with a
flat iron
; amazing.
She held my chin in her hand and examined my face. "You need more makeup," she asserted.
"No, I don't."
"Yeah, you do," laughed Stacy. She rarely ever listens to me. Thank God.
I retrieved my makeup bag, and Stacy darkened my eye shadow, applied eyeliner, and darkened my blush. She took out her own lipstick and reddened my lips. I had to admit, I looked better; sexier, confident.
Shit
.
I mixed us both a drink, and we sat at my kitchen table discussing our plans. No longer familiar with the Flats, I deferred to Stacy's expertise. She mentioned several bars, none of which sounded that appealing to me. I was uneasy but determined to have a good time.
Truthfully, I was hoping that tonight would turn out to be much more than an evening out with a girlfriend. I had been celibate for almost two years, and it was making me crazy. My body was craving the touch of a man. I had become much more sexual in the past few years as my husband's interest in me was fading away. Although I hadn't physically cheated, there had been a few Internet romances. I had even started shaving my pussy and bought a couple sex toys and books—things I wouldn't have done before. What I had heard about women peaking in their 40s was obviously true, at least in my case. I was tired of feeling so buttoned up, tense, and
sexless
. I was tired of masturbating. I wanted to
fuck
. I wanted to be normal again, whatever that meant.
During the drive to Cleveland we talked and laughed and speculated about how our evening would go. The warm evening air was full of promise, and the setting sun cast a rosy glow. After about an hour, we exited the freeway and pulled into the parking lot of a nightclub that looked trendy and hip. The thumping bass of the music drifted outside. My confidence was shaken now, as I began thinking I probably wouldn't fit in. I tried to hide this. It was a familiar feeling that seemed to annoy everyone else. Stacy, sensing my apprehension, pulled a joint out of her purse and looked at me questioningly. I laughed, and she lit it.
We each took several long drags, and then she extinguished the joint. "We'll save the rest for later," she winked.