This story is not a work of fiction. It is Michael's story and his love for Annie and how it was interrupted by her untimely death. We do not choose who we love, we just love them. We do not choose when they die, we just miss them when they're gone.
* * * * *
He stood in the elevator alone. He'd made this trip every day for a week now, never knowing if it was going to be his last. Usually there were other people on the elevator with him, People of all ages, people of different religions, people with different ethnic backgrounds, all standing on the elevator, taking the same ride, to the same ward, with the same fears, the same hesitancy, the same look of despair on their faces.
Today he was alone. Did that have meaning? Was today's visit going to be different?
The elevator door opened and the smell of death slammed into him. It permeated his nostrils, clung to his clothes, and gathered in the back of his throat like aged milkweed. The hallway stretched before him with rooms to either side, each one leading to a personal story of tragedy. He bypassed the visitor's lounge and circled around the nurse's station. The door to his story was further up, in the next hallway. He was growing to hate the sight of stark white, even if it meant sterility. He longed for the site of dirt. Maybe mud sloshed from winter boots, colorful smudges from a palette of make-up, or burgundy stains from a spilled wineglass, anything that showed life. Life how it was a year ago.
He noticed most of the doors were closed. Death lurked. It was pungent today. It could hide in the stark white hallway drifting from room to room, but it could never lose its odor. As he neared her door, his heart sped up. Someone had left it open. His legs grew weak, his stomach churned, his palms began to sweat. Delusional anger swelled up inside of him. Didn't they know that death was prowling, seeking a place to rest?
He rushed inside and quickly closed the door. The room was dark, the air fragrant with gardenia. It was her smell-the soft flowery, vanilla smell of white flowers. And he remembered.
* * *
"If I live to be a hundred, I will always think of you when I smell gardenias. I think the flower stole its fragrance from you." He slipped up behind and wrapped his arms around her, pressing his nose into the valley of her neck.
"Oh, Michael, I can't believe how much of a poet you are sometimes."
"It clings to your skin like dew in the morning." He inhaled and breathed the delicate scent until it seeped into his pores, savoring it before exhaling. His hands worked their way down her freshly showered skin. His fingers tingled from the heated moisture evaporating beneath his strokes. He swirled lightly around her navel and ever so gently worked his way down to the spongy pubic hair, still wet from her shower.
She leaned back against him. Her head lulled at his shoulder, and her legs opened, welcoming his touch. He willingly accepted her invitation as his fingertips danced across her labia and pirouetted between the folds. His fingers were greeted with the lush, warm pulp of her overripe pussy.
"You're all mush, Annie, so steamy and wet."
He delved further into her slit, saturating his fingers, and then brought them to his waiting mouth. He inhaled deeply the powerful elixir of Annie and gardenia, before licking his fingers clean.
She moaned.
* * *
He turned toward the desolate groan of pain, remembering where he was. Her wasted body was lost in the bed, her weight barely indenting the mattress. The white sheets blanketed her like a shroud. He wished he could just wad them up and throw them away.
He went to her side, whispering her name. He agonizingly watched for a sign that she heard him. There was only her grimace of pain. And the pallor of death. A thin layer of skin stretched over her gaunt face. Her eyelids were like parchment. Her dry and cracked lips ashen.
He reached to caress her cheek and was jarred by her frigid skin. He panicked. She was too cold. The room was like a tomb. He scrambled to the window and threw open the curtains, begging the sun to warm her. He rushed to the heater and turned it to high. He rubbed his hands together until the friction was hot and he placed them on her cheeks. He leaned over her and brought his lips to hers.
And he kissed her.
* * *
"Mmm, Annie, your lips are so soft."
"Is that a good thing?" She asked with the naivetΓ© of an innocent. He loved her all the more for it.
"I'll let you judge for yourself." He took her face in his hands and drew her to him. He could feel her warm breath on his lips, escaping in little pants of excitement. He waited as her eyes, heavy with lust, sagged shut. He licked along her upper lip and her lips parted. He ran his tongue the length of her lower lip and then slipped between and into her mouth.
He found her tongue with his and softly dueled for space. Her mouth was moist and tasted of mint. She quickly caught on and flattened her tongue to accept his further inside. He licked the inner sides and along the gums, exploring every part before retreating. He let his lips linger over hers, gliding back and forth, before finally bussing them together in a perfectly molded kiss.
He slowly opened his eyes as he pulled back and marveled at her perfect skin, marred only by a sprinkling of freckles across her nose. He waited for her eyes to open, noticing the delicate arch of her brow and the auburn shade of her lashes.
"Annie, you can open your eyes now."
But her eyes remained closed.
* * *
He searched in the small closet and found a blanket. It was stiff from starch and an ugly pale green. He wished he'd thought to bring a quilt from home. A homemade quilt from scraps of fabric she'd collected, her old flannel nightgown, his cotton work shirt, denim from a bedraggled pair of jeans, baby clothes too stained to save, all cut in squares by her loving hands. But her quilt lay over the couch at home, where she'd left it a week ago.
He spread the commercial blanket carefully over her body, covering up to her breast. They'd dressed her in light blue today. It cast a ghostly glow to her skin, but it was her favorite gown. An emaciated arm drooped from beneath the sheets. He lovingly gazed along its length to the once graceful hand with long, slim fingers. Her nails were yellow and bluntly cut now. He picked up her hand in his and traced along the slight groove where her wedding ring had once been. She had been devastated when the ring had slipped off and they'd thought it lost. It had been found in the laundry hamper. She'd run to her jewelry box and grabbed a gold chain, and with trembling fingers, slipped the ring on the chain, and fastened it behind her neck. She vowed never to take it off.
He lifted the collar of her gown and looked beneath. Every breath was distinct in the outline of her ribs. Her lush bosom hadn't completely melted away. Flat areola still topped small mounds of breast tissue. The ring lay heavily against the left side of her sternum as if intentionally placed over her heart. He stared at the gold band and remembered the moment he'd placed it on her finger.
With this ring, I thee wed.