My name is Stanley. I live in the house I grew up in because I moved back home when I retired about 15 years ago. We bought my childhood home partly because my dad designed and supervised its building and partly because of the neighborhood. We had also met Sonya and Robert who live right down the street from my house. We had become fast friends and often visited each other and had dinner together.
I am now 65, 5'10" and about 190 pounds. I'm balled with a goatee. I exercise a fair amount by riding my bike and working out in my office at home.
My wife for life died last year of cervical cancer. She had not been a virgin when we met, I knew. I had been. Sadly, she got HPV from someone and the result was the cancer. My bad luck because I loved her not just as a lover but as a friend. We simply loved doing things together.
I've dated some since then but nothing worth mentioning. I simply cannot find a woman that comes close. I was sort of content with thinking I'd be a bachelor my whole life and forego sex except an occasional masturbation which I indulge in a couple times a week.
I guess you may say I am somewhat well endowed, at least my wife thought so. I've not seen many men's equipment so I can't really judge but I know I'm a bit better than average.
We had what I think was a better than average sex life. At least what I read and heard from others sounded like it. We made love, and I mean love three to four times a week. Often on vacation, when it was without the kids, we'd make love two or three times a day in the motel room or campsite, once somewhere outdoors, and then at the restaurant or bar we ended the day in. We didn't have intercourse in a restaurant or bar, but I would often put my hand behind and under her ass and penetrate either her pussy or ass. Yes, she liked ass play. She could cum from either type of stimulation.
Needless to say, that got me turned on and she'd find a way to get me off. That wasn't easy because of the mess it would make, but we figured it out most times. She was a master at covering up her orgasm by breaking out laughing or slapping me or something.
She was a sort of exhibitionist so she always wore pretty revealing dresses even to church. There was cleavage or an open back, or both. Maybe under arms cut a little sparse. She never wore underwear except when she was having a period but she tried not to for longer than necessary. By the third day she was wearing a thong to hold a pad.
When our daughter crossed the threshold of puberty, she let her in on her secrets and she followed in her mother's foot steps. She is still a very sexy woman now in her late 30's. She's on her second marriage because her prudish first husband tried to change her style. He thought she was trying to come on to other men. He couldn't catch on that the only man she wanted to turn on was him.
Cassie, my wife and I, never wore clothes if we could help it around the house. Our son and daughter sort of followed suit. Our daughter went through a shy period when she was going through puberty, but Cassie finally helped her through it. As far as I know the two kids never played around, but what do parents know. They had such a love hate relationship, it's hard to imagine.
I could never have had an affair because Cassie kept me more than used up. When the kids were not around, she was always ready. When they finally moved out and went to college, it was like we were back on our honeymoon.
Cassie was probably 5 foot four, petite in bone structure, never had an extra pound except when pregnant, and had nice B cup breasts with medium size areolae and nipples that became hard and about 3/4 inch long when stimulated. That meant her nipples often showed in her dresses. She began shaving her pussy before it was fashionable because we figured out her hair often rubbed my cock sore. Once she began shaving, we could fuck for hours and it was fine. Believe me, we often fucked an hour or more doing 69, licking and fondling one another, me fingering her pussy and her my cock, then fucking her vagina and maybe her ass.
So as you can see, I miss all that. But I miss our pleasant moments sitting in her garden in the back yard, holding hands, caressing each other and talking. Often we would read to each other. Sometimes a novel and others the news.
While she was still alive, we'd walk down to Sonya and Robert's house for coffee in the mornings. Robert was at work almost always because he is a workaholic despite having more than enough to retire. We often thought Sonya resented he'd not retire so they could travel with us. She didn't know that we really didn't want them traveling with us. It would have crimped our style.
I continued to go down after Cassie's death because it broke the morning and by 10 I was ready to quit reading the news and didn't want to start writing yet. I write for fun, mostly erotic stuff. It keeps my libido up.
Robert is a handsome guy. Most women think so. He stays in shape and has his hair cut every week need it or not. He dresses impeccably and buys his own clothes. He actually asked Sonya not to buy him clothes because he did not like her taste for things. He's an inch or two taller than I am.
Sonya is 5 foot seven and probably weighs 120 pounds without an ounce of fat. She is an ardent yoga practicer and eats very healthy. I think she'd be beautiful if she dressed like Cassie did, but the closest she gets to sexy is yoga pants. Her blouses are often very blousy and hide her figure. She wears underwear that looks to be very plain from the lines in the yoga pants. Why do women wear underwear at all and especially beneath yoga pants?
Sonya also wears bras. When ever she wears a blouse that doesn't hide her, the bra is a sports bra. She actually looks bound. It's a shame because she can't hide her pretty face and very pretty hair except it, too, is quite up tight in style.
I go to see her because she is smart, quick minded, well informed, and fun to talk to and makes very good coffee. We usually sit outside—this is Florida after all and the weather is usually good. They have very comfortable chairs I could sit in all day if I had a mind which I don't. I usually stay about 30 minutes and sometimes an hour.
>>>
On one of my visits Sonya drops a bombshell on me. She tells me she is not and has not been happy with something in her marriage and she'd like to talk to me about it if I promised not to let it hurt my relationship with Robert.
I couldn't imagine anything hurting my relationship with Robert. We'd been best friends for 15 years. So I told her she could tell me.
"OK, this isn't easy. I love Robert. He's a good man, very thoughtful, but about as romantic as a rock. He anticipates my needs except for one. He is a sorry lover."
I showed some surprise at this because I'd never even received a hint of this from either.
"Stanley, when we got married, we went to a beautiful place and stayed in a lovely hotel on the bay. We had sex twice in the week on our honeymoon. We never had the non-stop sex that you and Cassie had or anyone else has. Once we came home, about twice a week, we'd go to bed, he'd masturbate to get hard and then he'd climb on me, penetrate, and fuck for two or three minutes, cum, turn over and go to sleep. I have never cum with a man since we got married. I've been masturbating four or five times a day for 30 years. Can you imagine?"
"OK, Sonya, I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do with this info. I also find this hard to believe. Maybe you should be talking to a therapist and to Robert."
"I'm getting to that. I have been to a therapist who thought a part of my issues now are body esteem issues. She suggested I go to a sex coach in her practice. So I have. She started working on things she refers to as unintentional abuse issues that result in women developing a poor body image. The reason I dress as I do, or have, is because of Robert's behavior. I thought I must be ugly.
"So she started having me do things to get in touch with my body. The first thing was to get naked and stand in front of a mirror and describe myself in the second person saying things like, 'Sonya, you have a pretty face' and describe it. 'Sonya, your breasts are pert and quite pretty.' It had been years since I had looked at my body in the mirror. She had me look at my pussy."
She stopped and grinned. "Maybe I shouldn't go there."
"It's OK, Sonya. Cassie and I used a mirror for a long time to look at her pussy together. I'd tell her what I saw and why I liked it. She loved it and got so turned on, she almost came from my description."
"Really? Oh God. If only."
"OK, so go on."
"So I did that every day for a week. At my next appointment, she asked me to do it in front of her. By then I had become far more descriptive, finding more things I liked including looking on the internet at the bodies of other women. I discovered I had a very nice body and that my pussy was better looking at least to me than many others."
"I'll take your word for it."
"That day, she told me she wanted me to spend as much of the day naked as I felt comfortable and to try to extend it. She warned me I'd think numerous times, 'I have to get dressed', but don't. Try to get comfortable being nude. When I passed a mirror or a window that reflected, I was to stop and look at myself and tell myself what I thought of my body."
"I'll bet that got Robert excited."
"You kidding. The first day I felt like I'd stay nude for when he came home, he went nuts. I never saw him so angry. That may not be the word. It's not like he yelled, but he told me to go cover myself up. That was yesterday. I dressed and told him we needed to talk.
"I was surprised. He was calm and rational. I told him I was dissatisfied with our sex life. Other women I knew were having far more sex than we and I wondered if he thought I was ugly or what."
I was getting a bit anxious about the conversation and said, "I just don't know about this. Maybe I shouldn't hear more."
"No, Stanley, please hear me out. When I finished telling him about my frustration, he became very quiet and seemed lost in thought. He went to the liquor cabinet and made a drink, went and stood at the window looking out. I just waited..." She began to weep now. I reached out and patted her knee. She twitched, then realized what had happened, "Stanley, that is the first gentle touch I have felt in years from a man. You are always sweet but you've been a perfect gentleman also. Do you know what he said?"
"No, do I want to?"
"I asked if I could tell you and he said I could. He's going to be down to see you tonight. He told me that he loved me so very much but not as a lover should. He said that he had abundant love for me in the Platonic sense, but he did not desire me or any woman in the physical sense. I asked him what he was telling me and he asked that I let him tell me his way. So I told him to go on. He said that he was raised to believe he had to find a woman, marry her, and have children and support the family and remain married until he died. He said that was what he did and thought he should do. But he said, I am attracted sexually to men not women. So having sex with you is repulsive. I began to cry uncontrollably.
"I wasn't crying out of hurt so much as despair that we had lived this lie in mutual unhappiness for years. How could such a thing happen?"
"I don't know, Sonya. It makes me sad to hear this. I thought you all were good. You seemed so happy."
"That's the thing. I think in all other ways we were. Then I wake up one day and feel I've missed an important part of life. Now that I know his problem, I can't really fault him and I feel sorry for him. He should have been able to find a man he could love platonically and sexually. I guess now we can be liberated from this nightmarish thing.
"Anyway will you be home tonight? Robert wants to talk to you."
"I'll be there."
